and yes, i do mean my 4-year old daughter, Emily. (yes, she's 4! her birthday was on Tuesday).

i'm afraid we've lost her to the dark side. no joke. she's out of control.

If she can't have ice cream when she wants it, she has a full-blown hour-long temper tantrum on the floor. If I choose an outfit that she doesn't want to wear, she has a complete mental breakdown. If she's told she can't go to a friend's house to play, she'll say, "I hate you!" When it's time for bed, she pulls out the big guns, "my tummy hurts! I need a drink! I need to make! You promised me we'd do the calendar! Read me a story! sing me a song! Another song! I Need Amy! I Need my blanket!" In general, she refuses to accept what are totally appropriate limits for her age.

I have to tell her to relax about 45 times a day. She gets really worked up over everything. she knows exactly what buttons to push, and pushes them often.

Now, i'd like to think that i'm a good mother. I love their daughter, and I show it. I try hard to nurture her creativity and self-esteem. But everyday issues of discipline and control now worry me all the time. In short, I fear I've created a monster—an extremely spoiled child—and I don't know what to do to improve the situation.

My attempts at punishment and positive reinforcement have been completely shut down. we tried out the 1-2-3 magic method, but realized early on that this was not the punishment method for us. we would count to three, put her in her room, and two minutes later, when we went to get her, she'd still be screaming. so the punishment did nothing.

this furstration came to a blow last night when i put her to bed at 7:24 and she didn't stop screaming or whining until 9:48. insanity! i don't know what to do anymore.
and the thing that really irks me the most is that for everyone else but me, my husband and my nanny, she's AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL. no joke. her teachers have nothing but glorious things to say about her - - "she's such a good listener, she loves to help out, she smiles all day (Smile? i don't think i've seen her smile in 2 years!), we love to have her around. she's a pleasure."

help...