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Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Don't Know Who To Vote For???
Take this test.

I come from a family that is completely split down the middle. My dad and stepmom, who live in Atlanta, are hardcore Republican Bush supporters. My mom and stepdad, who live in Milwaukee, are hardcore Democrats.

I'm basing my vote on the issues. I have so many friends who say, "Well, I'm a democrat, so I'm voting for Kerry." or "my parents are voting for Bush, so I am voting for him." The voting age is 18. The US government feels that individuals who have reached the voting age have the capacity to make an informed decision. So, get informed. If you don't know who to vote for, take the test and find out.

and make sure you vote!!

Surprised much?
Can't say this one shocked me.

If any of the Sex and the City females were going to come out of the closet, Miranda would have been my first pick. The butch hair, the powerful lawyer, the wanting to raise the baby on her own...
oh, Mary-Kate, how could you?

Yes, we all get the trying to fit in at NYU thing...and we all get the trying to not stand out in the crowd...but are crossing a threshold into homeless territory.

The sad thing is that she probably paid a fortune for the splatter-painted sweatshirt and the elf shoes.
Word on the Street
"The Word on the Street" is like toys r us for writers. On Sunday, Queen's Park in Toronto was covered in Book publishers, magazines, and booksellers. I could have spent a week searching through all the books being sold at incredibly reduced prices. The only problem:

These two little monkeys, who, by the way, were more fascinated by their subway ride than by the event itself. They did not have the patience to allow me to push and shove my way up to all the booths to check out the bargains.

They did enjoy the live band, the tvo kids stage where their favorite morning host, Giselle (A woman who drives me and my husband so crazy that we are actually forced to leave the room when she begins her motion minute every day), did a live show. And, of course, they enjoyed the ice cream.

So, in the end, it turned out to be a really nice day for our family. We had a gorgeous September day - - - that felt a little more like July.

And, we did get to see Steve from the Barenaked Ladies. I can't say that I'm the biggest fan (although I do enjoy their song, Lovers in a Dangerous Time), but a celebrity is a celebrity so naturally, I got me a picture.

I will definitely be back next year....with my wallet and without the kids.
Monday, September 27, 2004
I apologize...
for the lack of blogging today.

photobucket is down, and therefore I can't get my pictures to the site. I have some great photos from Word on the Street, including a photo of Steve from the Barenaked Ladies and a really great Mary-Kate picture.

Hopefully, it will be up and running soon.

A Week in the Zone
So, after spending a week in the zone I haven't lost a single pound....and I'm not at all upset. I know you are thinking, how can this be? Me, not upset about my weight????

Well, here's what's going on one week in:
~I feel great. 1000% times more energy.
~I'm not hungry all the time, which I was before I went into the zone. I was hungry 20 minutes after I ate every meal. Now, sometimes, I have to force myself to eat.
~I look good - - - I can't believe I'm willing to admit this. But, after careful inspection into the mirror, the zone and the gym are beginning to work together to help me trim the fat. The bulges above my ass seem to be diminishing, and I can almost see some abdominal definition! Ah! My life-long dream of washboard abs could be a reality.

I'm going to attempt to stay in the zone for a while and see what it does for me. I, mean, after all, Jennifer Aniston is a zone woman. And who wouldn't want to have her body???

I will have to stock up while I'm in the states, because Canada is seriously lacking in the zone product department - all we have here is zoneperfect bars, which I like, but I'm looking to get some Balance products. I hear they are amazing, and it will give me a little variety.
Friday, September 24, 2004
Show Me Some Skin
So, when is it no longer considered appropriate to undress in front of your children? And when do I have to stop bathing my son and daughter together?

I guess I'm less worried about Emily seeing me in my altogether. I think it might be good for her to get a good look and understand - "honey, this is what genetics is going to give you too. I'm sorry."

But, I had an incident with Josh not too long ago (I totally can't remember if I blogged about it or not - but since my husband managed to tell every single person he knows, it's become something of a public story) where I was changing his diaper in a towel and it slipped off. He stared at me while I changed him and then pointed and said, "What's that?" So, I said, "Joshie, that's a vagina." and he did this little shudder and said, "ooh...scary." I'll admit it - I was laughing my ass off. It was too funny. But, somewhere, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking maybe I'm no longer all that comfortable with my son being scared of my body parts.

He's not even 2 yet and most likely doesn't even know the difference. But, is there some sort of parent code that lets you know when you need to start covering up?
Four For Friday...
Q1: When shopping for food or related sundries, how important are brands in your decision-making process? For instance, let's say you're standing in the cereal isle at your local supermarket, and right there in front of you are two of essentially the same item, but one carries a brand name or label you're familiar with, while the other is labeled with the name of the supermarket? All things being equal except price, which box of cereal do you purchase?

all things are never equal in the cereal department. I will ALWAYS buy the brand name of cereal...the same goes for pop. I will NOT buy no-name pop. i'll wait until the coke or pepsi product that i enjoy goes on sale. There are some things that i will buy the store brand - napkins (and other paper goods), canned veggies, pretzels and cookies for the kids (they don't know the difference).

Q2: If you wore eyeglasses, based on what you know today about the procedure, would you choose to have elective laser surgery to correct a common eye disorder such as nearsightedness, farsightedness or an astigmatism (distorted vision)? Do you know anyone who has had this sort of surgery, and if so, what have they said about the experience and/or the results?

I do wear eyeglasses and would definitely get the surgery. I know several people who have had the surgery and haven't really heard any horror stories. The idea of not having to wear glasses or contacts or mess with re-wetting drops...ah...that would be heaven.

Q3: What do you do when you're given the wrong amount of change when purchasing something with cash? Does your reaction differ depending on which side of the equation you land, i.e., receiving too much change verses not enough?'s really not all that often that I receive more change than I deserve. But, I will honestly say that I wouldn't give the extra change back. And the truth is that i don't usually check my i could totally be getting screwed over every time i get change back...but, i don't know, I just take the change and put it in my purse.

Q4: Do you have confidence in the airport screening procedures in place in the United States?

following an event such as 9-11, I will NEVER have 100% confidence in airport screening procedures - they can never be completely fool-proof. But, i do hope that they are catching the things they should be, because they sure as hell are catching the things they shouldn't be (see...the story about the woman who got arrested for having a bookmark in her travel bag....) it's your turn!
Stacie J - The Loon
ha! I still can't stop laughing.

I think Stacie J was definitely a loose cannon. I mean, the girl had the now infamous spastic magic 8 ball incident, she was involved in episode 2's temp-hiring snafu, and she f$@#$ed up when she was getting the crest.

and here's another interesting tidbit about Stacie J and her antics . and this is why she really got fired in the boardroom last night. she's proved to be not at all competent.
Heeeelllllooooo Dolly!
I have to say, I'm not feeling the Survivor love this season. It's quite possibly because I actually enjoyed Dolly, and am sorry to see her go. I can't stress this enough - i will not watch this show if all there is to watch is Twila, Scout and a bunch of old men.

But, Dolly was dumb. You never give out any more information than you need to. Never tell people you are the swing vote - it can only come back to bite you in the ass. Never tell people who the target is. If eliza never knew that she was getting voted out and that Dolly may or may not have been voting with the old women/lesbians, she never would have switched sides to vote to poor little sheep farmer off. I have to admit, though, that was a gutsy and fantastic move on Eliza's part. all the other young'ins are going to kick her ass, but she didn't get voted out.

Thursday, September 23, 2004
Scent of Choice?
So, the first time I can ever recall putting on perfume was when I stole a shpritz of my older sister's Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden. I loved it. I loved the way it smelled. My mother has worn Estee perfume ever since I can remember and I don't me, it smells like grandmother. And my stepmom wears Chanel no. 5 - always has. and to me, it smells like Neiman Marcus. The sunflowers was light and fruity, and because it belonged to my sister, it was perfect for me.

Then I discovered vanilla. A scent that made me think of chocolate chip cookies. And who wouldn't want to smell like freshly baked goods? I bought the body spray from Bath and Body works and wore that exclusively until I decided to branch out into other "flavors." I dabbld in vine-ripened raspberry and plumeria (a smell my husband still loves).

My first "real" perfume was Escape, which i wore, exclusively, until i realized that my husband (boyfriend at the time) was allergic. I switched to Poeme by Lancome - a scent that reminded me of Sunflowers. It was such a throwback that i couldn't resist. I loved wearing it.

Now, I wear two perfumes - Vera Wang and Abercrombie Now. I like each one - no, i love them actually, but they each serve a very different purpose. Vera Wang is my work perfume. It's very grown-up and closely resembles the Neiman Marcus smell. It makes me feel professional, for some reason. And then there's my A&F, which is my feel-good-about-myself scent. Ya'll know what it's what the Abercrombie stores smell like when you walk in. quite frankly, the scent is SEX. And it does its job - it makes me feel sexy. I didn't know a purfume could do that.

What's your scent of choice???
"Hey, you just squashed the state bird of Alabama"
-Earl Smooter, Sweet Home Alabama.

Well, i certainly didn't squash it, and I don't know if it came from Alabama, but I did manage to step on a dead bird today.

A freakin' dead bird.


I've got to go wash my shoes.
There is Life in the Old Woman Yet...
When I got into my publishing program, I was one of two York students selected to join the joint program. Most people graduated undergrad and then went on to get this post graduate publishing degree. Beth, the other York student and I, spread the normally 1-year course over three years, while we were taking our undergrad courses at York. It was an awesome way to do it - - - to be in a graduate program and still not have graduated. But, making friends proved difficult. All the people in the class were thrust together for many hours every day - working on projects, making magazines, writing books, etc.

I made some friends, but not great friends. And I was really screwed when my one ally in the course, Beth, decided to drop out. Anyway, last week I discovered that two people from the first of three Publishing classes, back in 1999 - Stella and Jennifer - work at Scholastic. It's totally random and I don't really even know them, but they were so excited to know that I worked here too. Stella even came down to chat with me one day.

So, I'm beginning to think that it's not the entire Scholastic that is unfriendly and dry, it might just be the education department. Stella told me to come and visit them upstairs, and I just might. It's getting really old just sitting at my desk all day...
Saving Mary-Kate....Take 2
I'm glad I got my Save Mary-Kate t-shirt when i did, since it has now been ceased and desisted!!

Check out the article on the Smoking Gun !!
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Hey, Jude.
Don't forget to pick up a copy of this month's Vanity Fair.

Apparantly, Jude's gone wild. yum.
I Watch Way Too Much TV...
Making the Cut

There may be no NHL hockey right now, but my hubby and I have found some hockey to watch. The show, Making the Cut, is a behind-the-scenes look at the search for Canada's best unsigned hockey players as they compete for one of six invitations to a Canadian NHL team training camp.

4,000 hopefuls showed up for initial skills contests in various locations across Canada. 68 were picked to attend training camp in BC. In the end, the six Canadian NHl teams will each draft a player.

Several of the prospects were fantastic, some were great, and some were just terrible. But their stories were all great. There were best friends, a player who was actually drafted but quit the game to focus on his ill son, there was a player who couldn't play professional hockey because of a tumor, there were brothers, women, and fathers. It was terrific.

The Amazing Race

I could not have asked for a better ending to this show. There's a reason that this show wins Emmys. It's great. Chip and Kim were my favorites from early on - they were one of the only teams that actually had a great time playing the game, seeing the world, and spending time with each other. I was in tears when they crossed the finish line. okay, fine, I'm a bit of a sap, but come on, you have to admit, no one wanted Colin and Christie to win (although now I do fear for Christie's life a little) or the "honk of you love Jesus" duo either.

Christie falling in the airport - made me laugh.
Nicole's full-blown hyperventilating fit - made me laugh harder.

What a fantastic finish! kudos to Chip and Kim. and an extra round of applause for those bowling moms finishing 4th! They were awesome. I'm thoroughly impressed.

I still have yet to watch Gimore Girls and One Tree Hill - I taped them last night so i'll hopefully get a chance to comment on them tomorrow.
We Have Progress People!!!
no tears today. I'm a happy mom. She was slightly clingy, but she went without crying.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Quote of the Day
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know." - Animal Crackers
19 Things to Do in a Public Bathroom
Something to make you laugh today - brought to you courtesy of my good friend Orah, who can no longer comment on my hoo.

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I
borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a
bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh s#$@!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Damn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe
into the toilet bowl from eight to 6 feet- Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under
the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet
paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops,
could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am
I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can
see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
Every so often I have these moments where I remember things from my past. They usually come out of nowhere. Last night, the moment came while I was watching an old episide of My So Called Life. (It was a good one, actually, the one where Rayanne sleeps with Jordan...)

Anyway, i thought of my 10th grade English teacher, Ms. Baker. I'm pretty sure that she's the reason I went into publishing. When I do get an actual book published, I'm fairly certain I will dedicate it to her. It's funny because I have no clue where she is now, and what she's doing, but she had such an impact on my life.

She hated me in the beginning of the year. I was cocky and completely full of myself. She knew that I had only read every other chapter of The Grapes of Wrath. She knew that choosing the Kennedy assassination as my term paper topic was a cop-out.

But, then, outside of the confines of our 10th grade English classroom, in the yearbook room, I developed an appreciation for her and understanding of why she couldn't stand me. I realized that she was pushing me to become what she knew i had the potential to be. She didn't want me to become another ego-filled teenager and miss my calling. She knew I wanted to write. And she made me a writer. And i don't even know how i can thank her for that.

Monday, September 20, 2004
Carpool Commotion
There's nothing like taking your daughter to school in the morning and having to steer clear of the pile of puke right outside the schoolyard. ick.

There's also nothing like taking your daughter to school only to have her superglue herself to your leg. i don't really understand. the first week of school she couldn't get away from me fast enough. "Bye Mommy, see ya later" was all the attention she gave me in the morning.

This morning, however, she did NOT want me to leave. It makes me feel torn because i leave her school and head to work every morning so the longer i stay with her, the later i am to work. But, i know that she's amazing at school. she's an outgoing kid. One of the moms who i don't know came over to me and said, "this is Emily? my daughter Sarah doesn't stop talking about Emily. Would you like Emily to come over and play at our house?" Ah....the joys of motherhood. My daughter is well-liked and popular. :)

I know it's probably because her last day of school was last tuesday - she's been at home with us for almost a week. she got used to that. This month of Jewish holidays is terrible on these kids. they are just starting to get used to being in school and then they have a two day week, a four day week and then two more two day weeks in a row. it's too much for them.

hopefully, tomorrow will be better.
Wedding News of the Week
1) Sarah Sarvis and Federico Milla are hardly famous, but their wedding story makes me laugh harder than the Federlines, so they take top billing. They are both residents at New York Hospital, and won a free wedding. They even hired celebrity "witness" Tara Reid. When the group was posing for their pictures, they noticed a horrible smell, only to realize that Tara Reid's hair had gotten to close to the candles! "Her hair didn't flame up, but it did smell awful," Sarvis said. "Luckily we didn't have to use our medical training to treat her." ha....laughing my ass off.

2) Oops..she did it again. and now she's a stepmom. There are mixed reports as to what the bride and her bridesmaids wore to the actual ceremony, but everyone's in agreement that after the ceremony, Britney quickly changed into a velour sweatsuit for the supertacky afterparty at a Hollywood nightclub. She ordered the entire wedding party to ditch their tuxedos and dresses for loungewear outfits, some of which were emblazoned with "Pimp" and "Pimp Daddy." And they ate chicken fingers. classy, Britney, very classy.

TV musings of the week....
in this musing: 7th Heaven, Everwood, Survivor, The Apprentice, Jack and Bobby. I realize it's been a while since I've done a really good recap on the shows i've been watching...(I had a busy boss is in Greece)

~ 7th Heaven: I've said this, more than once, i believe. Someone needs to put this show out of its misery. it's so bad. one cares that Simon might or might not be having sex. He's in college, people. and no one cares anymore about Lucy's issues with communication. and that her pants fall down a lot. and no one cares about Ruthie because she's the devil. no one cares. take the show off the air. i can't believe i wasted my time...

~ Everwood: I was so happy to have my Everwood back, and was excited to hear of the addition of my Bailey to the show. but, it's not the same. Ephram's too broody, and the side-burns have got to go. I'm hoping to see some better things out of this season...

~ Survivor: I love Jeff Probst. Something about watching him in action when he gets all intense..mmm..just makes me love him more. okay, i can't understand why Chris was NOT voted out. he was so bad - he couldn't drag his body across a freakin' log. i can do that for goodness sake. the man with the prostetic limb can do it. it should have been, "your tribe has spoken" for Chris and not Brook. What did Brook do? i mean, yeah, sure, he has a woman's name, but that's not his fault. If this turns into a game of voting off the good-looking (or at least decent-looking), capable people (don't these people know anything about survivor - you keep the strong players in the beginning because you NEED them to win challenges and then you vote them off later when they are actually threats....people are so dumb) I will stop watching. You heard it here folks. i will stop watching. the same way i stopped watching american idol when Latoya London was voted off.

~ The Apprentice: Good rule of thumb - never get cocky when Donald Trump is invovled. He fired Bradford because he could. plain and simple. and because Bradford bruised his big fat ego. Ivana's ass should have been thrown to the curb, but she got lucky. Another good rule of thumb i learned from my prenatal classes (and never thought i'd use again) - always have your bag packed and ready to go. mmm....donut flavored ice cream....

~ Jack and Bobby: This show baffled the hell out of me, but intrigues me enough to keep watching. Okay, i think i'm got it down now. Jack and Bobby have nothing to do with the Kennedys. Jack is older and is an ass. Bobby is younger and has asthma. Bobby goes on to become Independent party president (even though his mother, a very manly and old looking Christine Lahti, is a hard-core democrat) and marries Jack's dare-o-say girlfriend, Courtney. oh, and Jack dies. at some point. but no one knows when. all we know is that Bobby contacts Courtney "sometime" after Jack dies to help out with campaign...I'll keep watching, if only to see Christine Lahti smoke a little more pot.
Emmy Bits and Pieces
HBO was king of the Emmys last night, winning a wopping 32 awards. After losing 4 times in the Best Drama category, The Sopranos finally took home its statue last night. And Angels in America, an adaptation of Tony Kushner's Pulitzer Prize-winning play about the AIDS epidemic, won 11 Emmys, the most of any show this year.

One of the best quotes of the night came from Drea de Matteo, who won for Best Supporting actress in a drama for her role as Adrianna on the Sopranos:
"OK, I have nothing to say. There's so many people that are responsible for this. But if I even try to thank any of them right now I might puke, choke, cry or die. And you've all already seen me do that."

To see a complete list of winners from last night's show, click here.

Ashlee Simpson vs. Talkatoo Cockatoo
I got this from winnerofthesat

The fact that Ashlee Simpson looks way too much like Talkatoo Cockatoo from Zoobilee Zoo gives me yet another reason to dislike the ugly Simpson sister. as if i really needed a reason. i can't understand how people can think that this person is hot...
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
To get us into the festive holiday mood...
a little throwback to the good ole bar/bat mitzvah days

note: i don't know these people, but i do think I had that Benetton shirt...I wouldn't dare post my own batmitzvah pictures, for fear of ridicule. Instead, I'd rather take a moment to ridicule us all. The big poofy dresses, the horrible, ginormous glasses, the bows...oh lord...the bows. What were we thinking???

this is curtesy of what's now become one of my favorite websites: Bar Mitzvah Disco

Oh, Herbal Essences...what have you done?
Please, my dear readers, take note.
Do not, under any circumstances, home highlight.
Yes, Herbal Essences makes a home highlighting kit. And yes, the commercials might be enticing. Why spend 80 dollars to get your hair professionally highlighted, when for $11, you can do it at home???!!

I will give you the answer in one word. CRAP. That's what this product is. Crap.

Sure, when I was in high school I experimented with home hair color, I think everybody does. I went blond, I went red, and I think I one point my hair had a slight purple-ish tint to it. But, that was high school, folks.

My boss, yes, one of the head honchos at the office tried a little home highliting last night...and needless to say, the results are disastrous. Poor girl needs some serious hair therapy. and now, she either has the choice of going to the salon to get fixed, or waiting it out. Most people would opt for the salon choice. I'm beginning to think that maybe the Herbal Essences people are in cahoots with the salon people..."Hey, salon people, if we sell a crap product to these willing customers, we can assure that they will come running to you and will cough up the $80 bucks that they were too cheap to pay in the first place."

Please, please, please. If you are going to color your hair. Go to a professional.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I must get on Oprah....and other Hollywood-ities...
~~ a car...a freakin' car... that's how Oprah Winfrey celebrated the premiere of her 19th surprising each of her 276 audience members with a brand spanking new car. holy heck. get me in her audience. pronto.

~~ Apparently, the French have not heard about Mary-Kate's eating disorder. The Olsens are endorsing Le Big Mac, Le Royal Cheese and Le Menu Happy Meal.

~~ In other Olsen news, it seems that their good buddy/co-star John Stamos told his good friend Scott Sartiano to "take care of [the twins] while they were in New York." Well, he's taking care of them all seems the 30-year old is dating Ashley. Thanks, Uncle Jesse.

yes. that is Matt Damon. And yes, he is receiving a lap dance. And yes, he is receiving it from Hugh Jackman. magnificent.
Baby Allie
Today begins on a solemn note.
This morning, as i always do, I opened up Jenny and Andrew Scott's website to read the update on Baby Allie.
This is Jenny's latest entry:
Monday, Sept. 13th--Day Fifty-Eight

11:20 pm-- At 11:05 pm Allie left us for a better place. She has gone to heaven. She passed very peacefully with a room full of love. She was surrounded by family and friends. We are all very sad to see her go but happy that she is no longer in pain. She is now our guardian angel looking down from heaven at us. Thank you all for your continued love and support. Arrangements have not been made yet. In lieu of flowers the family asks that you make a donation in Allie's name to the Light the Night walk team12 South Angels.

I've become very attached to this baby. I've watched this family's story unfold on my computer every morning. These are people I've never met, never even spoken to. But, this little girl has touched my life. She had made me appreciate what i have. I think she's made me become a better mother, a better wife, and a better person. She makes me hug Emily a little tighter and squeeze Joshie a little harder.

i really just don't have the words. I will pray for the Scott family to find strength through this tough time.

If you have not been following Baby Allie's story, read a little bit about her on the Scott's website. She was a very special little girl.
Monday, September 13, 2004
at the gym
There's this game I like the play at the gym and it's called, "What celebrity do you look like?" I play this while i do my 25 minutes on the elliptical. Today I saw a very good Jason Biggs, a semi-close Stephen Baldwin and a Fred Durst. You should know that on any given day at Extreme Fitness there is ALWAYS a Jason Biggs. I guess that's the nature of gyms in fairly Jewish areas...
Oh, from the mouths of babes....again...
So, yesterday I took my 3-year-old to buy new shoes. She was incredible (and why not....girls learn about the wonder of new shoes very early on in life). Until she saw the gaudy, pink-flowered light-up shoes that i was NOT buying under any circumstances. But, I talked her out of buying them and we opted for 2 pairs of more tasteful shoes.

After we were done, she said, "Mommy, I can't wait to show Daddy my brand new shoes!"
I said, "Well, first we have to go food shopping and then we can go home."
and she proceeded to say, "Food shopping? What the hell?"

no joke. these were her words.
oy vey.
An update on Ken Jennings...
The question was: What is H&R Block?

From the genius who brought us Pulp Fiction...
"Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he is Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red S is the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race, sort of like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plympton."

What a fantastic movie. I really liked the Kill Bill, but this time, Quentin Tarantino really outdid himself.

Some interesting trivia nuggets about Kill Bill courtesy of

~~The large wooden flute played by Bill (David Carradine) actually is the exact same flute that David Carradine plays as Kwai Chang Caine in "Kung Fu" (1972). Carradine brought the flute to rehearsals and Quentin Tarantino decided to find a way to put it in the movie.

~~Bill says that The Bride is a natural born killer. Natural Born Killers was originally written by Tarantino.

~~Elle Driver wears the same outfit that Uma Thurman wears in Pulp Fiction. It was also worn by Pam Grier in Jackie Brown.

~~Bill's apartment in Mexico is number 101, the same as Neo's in Matrix, The (1999). The fights in both films were choreographed by Woo-ping Yuen. In addition, room 101 is a reference to George Orwell's "1984", the room where the thing you fear most resides.

~~Quentin Tarantino pays homage to his first film Reservoir Dogs twice in this film: First, the Bride pulls a single blade razor from her cowboy boot which is a direct homage to Mr. Blonde in Reservoir Dogs, who pulls a razor from his cowboy boot in the infamous ear scene. Second, when the Bride and Bill are talking, Bill says that he hears a gunshot to the kneecap is quite painful. In Reservoir Dogs, Mr. White says to Mr. Orange, "Aside from the kneecap, the gut is the most painful area a guy can get shot in."
Friday, September 10, 2004
Four For Friday
I saw this somewhere and thought i'd start a friday tradition. i'll give my answers. Please comment and give your answers too!

Q1: If you had the talent to compete for a medal, which Olympic sport(s) -- summer and/or winter -- would you choose to participate in?

figure skating in the winter and gymnastics in the summer. not that i have any talent for either of these things....

Q2: Do you use fabric softener when you do laundry? If so, do you prefer the liquid kind that gets added to the wash, or are you more of the sheet type which gets added to the laundry as it goes into the dryer?

bounce sheets....i don't know the scent though...something outdoorsy maybe?

Q3: Are there any foods that are widely held as being common everyday eats which you've never been able to bring yourself to try even once?

there are lots of "conventional" foods that i don't eat. i have never tried olives or tuna - they both give me the heeby-jeebies.

Q4: Which would you prefer... to be rich beyond your wildest imagination... as famous as anyone dead or alive... or as powerful as the most influential person you can think of?

definitely rich beyond my wildest imagination. and then i can buy the fame and power :)
New Yorkers are funny, Nome Sane?
Check out the book, "New York as a Second Launguage" by Molly Katz. It will give you a thorough linguistics lesson and teach you how to walk, talk, and survive in the big apple.

Phraseology like:

"Gahed," as in "Be my guest." . . . "Samatta?" as in, "I said something wrong?" . . . "Kagofa," which is Berlitz Neyawk for "I kagofa some pizza." . . . "Nome sane?" To such one can only reply, "Yes, I know what you are saying." . . . "Awhat." It is a colloquialism which might succeed a phrase like, "Is this coffee lousy awhat?" And of course what everyone says on Fridays: "Hava gaweekin." (this paragraph was lifted in good faith from Cindy Adams, New York gossip queen)
"Who Cut That Child's Hair?"
oh, come on, you all know what I'm talking about...oh, Pamela, ye of complete diarrhea of the mouth. Didn't you know that one of the very first rules you learn about The Apprentice is that you need to impress George and Carolyn, not force them to roll their eyes in disgust? oh, and i loved how someone (i can't remember who it was...Bradford, i think) called her Cruella DeVille. That was classic.

Okay, i'm totally NOT loving the Mosaic name. Mosaic is more craft show than board room. But, i kind of like Apex, it's much more impressive than Protege and Versacorp (gag me with spoon, please).

I think i need a few more episodes to develop strong feelings about most of the cast, but i'm super excited to watch the rest of the season. I think it's going to get really catty. yay!
Quote of the Day
"In Hollywood, I see many starving people every day. We call them actresses." - Sean Hayes
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Gossip Roundup
~~ Oh, Britney, Britney, Britney...once again, showing your true class. Sure, she managed to get photographed eating cheetoes with her white-trash fiance, kissing in pools, and un-hygenically (barefoot! egads!) using public bathrooms, but the girl couldn't make it to her own charity camp for underprivileged 11-to-15-year olds. She also failed to make an appearance at the dedication of the Britney Spears Foundation Room at the Onyx Hotel in Boston earlier this summer. Just remember, Britney, it's all about the fans...and they are beginning to exit, stage left.

~~ Anyone else find this slightly too predictable? Martha Stewart can't begin serving her sentence because there are "no beds available" in jail. surprise, surprise.

~~ It seems it's really final jeopardy for Ken Jennings. Subject: Companies and Corporations. The Answer: This company has a workforce of 17000 people, whose average working year is only 4 months long. anyone wanna take a stab? Ken couldn't get what hope do you have? So, he walked away with 2.5 million dollars, after winning 74 games. holy crap.

~~ The Apprentice 2 begins tonight at 8:30 EST. You know where I'll be.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
i hate blogger...
..why can't i post today???
"Do You Think We're Doing it Right?"
Classic Brandon. so pretty, yet so dim-witted. But, as Nicole pointed out last week, "The lord really wants us to be in this game" (and by lord, she means Jerry Buckheimer), so it's all good for the datingslashmodels couple.

I LOVE chip. He makes me smile every week. it was kind of a dumb-ass move NOT to use the yield (yay yay, someone's going to use it next week...finally) but it doesn't matter, because my chip and kim are still in the game. I will admit, though, that those sly editors at TAR5 really know how to make you nervous. I really thought that they were neck in the neck at the end, but, it was dark when the twins arrived, proving to us once again that it's all about the editing.

buh bye, twinkies. so sorry to see you go. serves you right. i haven't liked you since you uttered the first nasty thing about my chip.

I cannot wait for next week - - Colin's "OH MY GOD I HATE YOU". Poor Christie.
Holy Laurel and Hardy, Batman...
this is sooo great.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004
mon week-end, dans une coquille
that means, "my weekend, in a nutshell."

Early friday morning we started our adventure to la belle province (aka....Quebec) - we went to see my sister in law and brother in law. leaving early in the morning - bad idea. the kids whined and complained the entire way there. and heaven forbid they should like to watch the same thing on the dvd player. Joshie screamed, "I wah Momo" (translation - I want Nemo) while Emily kvetched, "I want 102 Dalmations" while Joshie yelled, "No doggies please."

Once we got there, we had a really nice time. Well, except for the puking incident. Joshie has a really really bad cough and sometimes when he coughs really hard, he chokes himself and gags a little. Just my luck, he did this gagging when Gav wasn't around and right after he'd had a sippy cup of milk. cheese-stinky puke all over his pajamas, the one sheet that we had brought, his blanket (binket) that he WILL NOT sleep without....argh, it was a disaster. but, alas, i was calmer than i expected to be (what with my whole emetophobia and all...but it wasn't like it was a sickness..i wasn't going to catch what he had) and i managed to clean everything all up and not pass out.

Adina and Manny's apartment is really nice. It's very nicely decorated. it's so nice, in fact, that i didn't even realize that their tv cabinet thing-y is exactly the same as ours, only theirs somehow looks better. :) I give them a lot of credit for being able to handle our not-so-neat children in such a small space! We are determined to somehow make it back there without the kids....we have such a good time with Manny and Adina, and we really don't ever get to just hang out with them because it's always all about the kids. maybe one day. They still have at least two more years there...

we decided to take some other mothers' advice and drive back in the early evening, when the kids are wiped and low on energy instead of in the morning when they are hyper. We started driving just after 6 pm and both kids were asleep before 6:30. ah! it was such a pleasure. Things went great until 7:18, when Emily woke up with a night terror and screamed the car down. She woke poor Joshie up and the two of them never went back to sleep. They sat, comotosed, in front of Dumbo, 102 Dalmations and some of Nemo until we got home at 11pm. i couldn't believe they stayed up that long. proves my theory that my kids DO NOT sleep in the car.

on sunday we went to Canada's Wonderland and had a really really nice time until joshie decided to have a repeat puke performance. he started coughing until he was choking and then out came his meal. yuck.

Last night we got to enjoy a little bit of time away from the kids, which we welcomed with open arms after our LONG and TIRING weekend. We went to Howie (my new best friend because he went to the consulate and got the papers i need to claim my kiddie's US citizenship) and Devora's (my other new best friend because she taped the Jude Law Oprah for me) for a BBQ. I'm pretty sure that we won't be invited back for a long time, though, because Gav insulted their BBQ sauce. and if i know one thing about men and their barbeques, you DO NOT go insulting other people's. So, if either of you are reading this......i take no responsibility for him!!
Wardrobe Malfunction - Take 2

poor girl. Jennifer Hawkins, Miss Universe, had a "wardrobe malfunction" when her stiletto got caught on her dress while she was on stage in her hometown Australia for a promotional event. Even though her dress fell to her ankles, she handled the incident with poise. She simply turned around on her stilettos and continued walking.

That's what I call courage under fire!
Much Ado About Minivans
I'm now officially a disgruntled parent. I raced Emily out of the house this morning. She had orientation at 9:15 at school. I figured if i got there at 8:30, i'd have plenty of time to find a parking spot and take some shots of her outside her new school. I even put my make-up on in the car this morning...that's how determined i was to be there early.

Little did i know that 8:30 was NOT early enough. there were dozens of mini-vans everywhere and not a single parking spot to be found. the school parking lot is a mess. And why don't moms know how to park their minivans??? is it that hard to fit your car into a single spot without reversing 80 times???!!! cripes.

To give you some sort of time-line for how long we were circling - we pretty much were able to listen the entire Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The entire thing!

Heaven help me. That stressed me out.

But Emily was soo good. she was a little bit shy in the beginning, but once they brought out the arts and crafts, she was in heaven. She made a shofar (ram's horn that you blow on Rosh Hashanah). She told her daddy that she made a trombone! What a cutie!

Thursday, September 02, 2004
The Sexual Lives of Fruits...


to get another good laugh click here.
Funny story of the day
ok, I've had to leave out names to protect the innocent (this is a public blog, after all...)

But a new family moved into my friend's neighborhood and they have officially been dubbed by me and her as "the loom people." The loom people were eating a meal at someone (mr. and mrs. giving)'s house and they mentioned that they didn't have a crib for their baby (What? hellllooo? no crib?) Anyway, these people were really nice and offered to lend Mr. and Mrs. Loom a crib for the loom baby.

Mr. Giving brings them the crib a few weeks ago, on one of the rare HOT days this summer. The looms live on a 4th floor walk-up. Mr. Giving got hot and sweaty because Mr. Loom had hurt his back (boo hoo) and didn't help with the six trips. When he was done delivering the crib to their apartment with no air-conditioning, he asked for a paper towel. No can do, Mr. Giving. We don't have any paper towel. Napkin? nope. Anything to wipe his face? Eureka! I've got something, says Mr. Loom. and it's 3 squares of toilet paper! Mr. Giving, after shredding the toilet paper, asks for a towel. He begins to wipe his face and starts sniffing. What is that? Can it possibly be? It's poo! The looms apparantly use their towels to wipe their behinds and then give them to unknowing guests.

I bet that's the last we will hear from Mr. Giving. He's now changing his name to Mr. Selfish. He's not going down that road again. fool me once, shame on me....fool me twice...well, you know the rest.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004
I couldn't help myself...

how do i get an invite to that pajama party??
It's September folks!!
and that means that it's back to school time!!

I love everything about back-to-school....even now, when i am no longer going back to school.

I love buying school supplies and new fall clothing.
I love the feel of a new daily planner and notebooks that haven't been written in yet.
I love the idea of starting something new. Of going back to school and seeing all my friends and catching up.

I'm such a tool.

In keeping with today's theme, here's a quote from "Back to School"

Thornton Melon : What's your favorite subject?
Bubbles: Poetry.
Thornton Melon : Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.

Now that i'm no longer a student, even though i'm sending my little baby off to school next week, i can get excited about my other favorite thing about September:


shows i'm looking forward to seeing their season premieres:

as a side note - the Sopranos would be my #1, but since it's not starting for another five hundred years, i won't add it to my list.

1) Gilmore Girls - come on people. Little Rory has lost her virginity - WITH A MARRIED MAN - i am dying that they've left me hanging all summer!

2) The West Wing - i know, i know, this show has seriously gone downhill and the whole Donna fiasco...come on....but, it's a guilty pleasure for me. something about josh lyman just makes me smile...

3) The OC and One Tree Hill - yes, i've lumped them together. beautiful people hooking up with all sorts of other good looking people makes for really entertaining tv.

4) Survivor and the Amazing Race 6 - Yes, I still watch them, and yes, i do think they are still fantastic!

5) The Apprentice - "You're Fired." god I love that show.

Honorable mentions...Scrubs, Everybody Loves Raymond and Arrested Development. great shows. And I'm really liking Entourage these days.

shows i wish they would take off the air:

1) ER - i know i will get flogged for this one - most of my friends are serious die-hard fans, but face it, the moment Mark Green died, this show seriously jumped the shark. And if this was real life people, this ER would have been shut down a long time ago - it's a biohazard if i ever saw one!

2) The Bachelor - let's face it - it sucks. Haven't the producers realized that not one bachelor has stayed with his pick??? There are no Ryan and Tristas on the Bachelor. Give it the axe already.

3) CSI Miami - David Caruso just can't pull it off - he's extremely irritating. Even though i can appreciate that one of the guys on the show was Slater in Dazed and Confused (which gets at least a 20-second giggle out of me), it's still not enough to make this show worth watching.

4) 7th Heaven - please, oh please, put the Camden clan out of their misery

5) Big Brother - - - do i really need to explain this one???

I'm a displaced American writer, mom, and wife living in Canada who muses about my life, my kids, my tv watching and my slight obsession with celebrities.
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(Random Site)
Reading Lolita in Tehran * Azar Nafisi
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close * Jonathan Safran Foer
i bet you look good on the dance floor * arctic monkeys
the skin of my yellow country teeth * clap your hands say yeah
chasing cars * snow patrol
movie script ending * death cab for cutie
anthems for a 17-year-old girl * broken social scene
all these things that I've done * the killers
one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) * stars
a little less 16 candles a little more touch me * fall out boy
the great salt lake * band of horses
october, first account * be your own pet
mushaboom * feist
letter from an occupant * new pornographers

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