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Sunday, July 31, 2005
Well, we were all exposed to Shigella yesterday, and, of course, i'm freaking out.

i'm hoping and praying that my kids don't get it. yeah - that's just what i need right now - to be running to the toilet every 20 minutes with the kids. and i'm really hoping i don't get it.

the good news is that it seems to be only intestinal and not stomach no barfing...but somehow, in this situation, it doesn't make me feel all that much better.'s to scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing all of our hands for the next couple days. please pray for us!!!
Down Goes Haley...
Well, Haley, my coworker and partner-in-crime throughout this whole pregnancy process, had her baby - a girl, Joey Faith - on Thursday.

While i'm thrilled to death for her - she sounds terrific - i can't help but feel some pangs of jealously. how come she had her baby already and i'm still sitting here huge and pregnant? it's not fair! i mean, yes, her due date was a week before mine, but still...

it's funny, because until today I was in no hurry to get this baby out. i was enjoying my time off and my freedom. but now, i'm ready. i want this baby out. NOW.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Baby Pool - take 2
since most people guessed i'd be having this baby in July...and since it's July doesn't look likely.

so, i'm opening it up again.
if you guessed already, you can change your guess. i think maybe i did the first one a little too early. there will be a prize for the winner. oh yes, there will be a prize! a good one too!

so, i need to know:
time of birth

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good luck!!
question of the day..
there are some spots in parking lots that clearly say "for expectant mothers" but there are some that just say "for parent with child."

am i allowed to park there if i don't have my kids with me? are those spots for preggos too? because if you want to get technical...i AM with child. i'm sure there are people who still use that arcane expression. not i, but i'm sure someone out there does.

anyway, i parked in one yesterday, and i actually felt guilty.
what's the consensus. yay or nay?
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Uneventful doctor appointment
...there weren't even any freaks this week.

it was just me. i was all alone in the waiting room - a very rare occurance.

Doctor didn't have much to tell me. He said it sounds like things are moving along. he said losing your mucus plug may or may not mean that labor is imminent. he said that i may or may not be leaking fluid. he said he may or may not see me at my appointment next week....which tells me absolutely NOTHING.

gained 1 pound this week, bringing me up to 21. not bad. especially since i went right after going out for a huge lunch with Sharon and Adrienne.
what the first line in the book you are reading right now??

mine is:
"The boys down on the Low Quay know a hundred ways to sell bad fish."

now you know you want to read it!

anyone? anyone?
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
I know I might get blasted for this...
...but i think Nicole's body looks fantastic here:

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~~Paris has gone brown again. relax, folks, it's just a wig.
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~~Demi is clearly NOT pregnant. i'm not sure i'd choose that particular outfit to wear, but she doesn't show any signs of a preggo tummy:
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~~Poor Britney, pregnancy is not agreeing with her these days. (it's not agreeing with Michelle Branch either...):
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~~i had to post this:
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~~why is it that celebrities feel it's unnecessary to wear shoes?
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Okay...i get that people call my house
just to see if i've had the baby, with no other real reason, and make up some lame excuse as to why they called. i imagine this will pick up as i get closer to my due date.

but, some people, when they call, say something like, "Did you have a baby yet?"
okay, what the hell? do they not think that if i had a baby that they would have heard? I've been getting slightly sarcastic with them, saying things like, "oh my goodness! did we forget to call you?"

or some people say the ever-so-unwanted, "You are still around?"
clearly, yes, i am still around. why don't you rub some more salt on my wounds please?

or "how come you haven't had the baby yet?"
yeah...there's a real good one. becuase i'm in control of these things.

sheesh. i think i'm going to turn the phone off..
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Well...lookie what i can do!!!
the husband left this evening to play poker with the boys, and my kiddies are at the cottage for the night with my inlaws, and i'm all alone.

so, i got crafty.
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i mean, granted i'm just a beginner, so they aren't perfect.
but i made them myself!

i know that the girl will never wear them, since she's WAY into hairbands these days. hmm...maybe i can go into business...:)
American Pie for Grownups
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I certainly was NOT expecting to enjoy this movie...let alone laugh my arse off through the entire thing. For one thing, Owen Wilson usually bugs the crap out of me. there's just something about his super slow drawl or his super strange-looking, can't turn away from nose...but in this movie, he and Vince Vaughn just seem to work. They play off each other and just nail it.

for those who haven't seen it (although i feel like i'm the last person to see this movie...) here's a short run-down: Jeremy (Vaughn) and John (Wilson) play cads who crash weddings to score women. they look up hot wedding announcements in the paper, do perfunctory research on the wedding party and guests, then figure out an angle. Are they brothers this time? Are they businessmen? Who in the party are they "related" to? Anything to get them in there and hitting on the talent. Women at weddings, well, you've heard the deal on them. Jeremy and John just rake 'em in.

But when the scoundrels crash the big-time Washington wedding party for the daughter of Secretary of the Treasury William Cleary (Christopher Walken), things change. John falls a little too sincerely for Claire Cleary (Rachel McAdams), one of the secretary's daughters. And Jeremy gets in a little over his head with another Cleary daughter, Gloria (Isla Fisher), who soon declares her undying, bunny-boilingly permanent love for Jeremy forever.

each character brings more and more hilarity - from Claire's boyfriend, to the Cleary's strange painter son, to the foul-mouthed Grandma (played by the rappin' granny herself...) And, of course, look out for the Will Farrell cameo. You won't be sorry.

If you haven't seen it, i highly recommend.
it seems Sienna's moved on...rather quickly...

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she reunited with former flame Orlando Bloom at a polo tournamet in the UK over the weekend, and an onlooker said "They spent ages cuddling, kissing and gazing at each other. There was real chemistry."
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Monday, July 25, 2005
Who wants to...
give me the lessons in how to talk to you employees??

It's really a problem. i have so many things i want to tell Jhoanne, but i just can't physically do it.

today there are three things that have upset me...and it's only noon!

a) when i gave her her check, she said to me, "oh, maybe when you take the kids to camp, i'll go to the bank." to which i said, "actually, i need you to take the kids to camp." i didn't really, but i wanted her to at least be doing something productive (and i ellipticized and was fantastic)

b) she knocked on my door about 30 minutes ago and said, "can i be gone for 15 minutes? i want to get something from Macket (our friends' nanny)." what could she possibly need that she had to run out and get it from the other nanny? also, it wasn't like she'd been working all morning and the house was spotless and she was looking for something to do. my family room is a MESS.

c) every time i buy anything, she takes things out of the bags and throws the bags away. yesterday, we bought pillows for our couch in our living room. we've been talking about getting pillows for about, oh, 7 years, and we finally bought 5, but we weren't sure we were going to keep them. so we tried them out on the couch. one of them is good, but not great. the others are perfect. i love them!

so, i agreed to go to back to Homesense (i LOVE that store!) and see if i could find one that doesn't blend into the couch as much. so, we kept that one in the bag, with the receipt. but, when i went downstairs, the bag and the receipt were gone....argh...

anyway, off for lunch with my sister in law. i LOVE this freedom. what was i saying about wanting the baby already??? i really need to start enjoying this time off! it's GREAT! 2 weeks late is starting to sound not all that bad...ha!
I am now
less than 2 weeks away from my due date...and am officially tired of being pregnant.

i'm sick of the sleeplessness, the lack of comfort, being gigantic, not liking any of my clothing, going to the mall and not being able to buy anything, getting constantly kicked in the ribs, the contractions that turn out to be nothing (even though they are painful), the cramping, not being able to sleep on my stomach, i could go on and on...but will spare all of you...

i realize that once i have the baby, there will be a whole new list of things to complain about - no sleep, the nursing, the nursing (needs to be said twice), not fitting into any of my clothing, the recovery from childbirth...

but at least it will be moving on to the next stage. and i'm officially ready for it. until this point, i was in denial that this baby is coming, but now i've accepted it. and i'm ready. and now that Beth has had her bean, i'm ready for my bunny.
Friday, July 22, 2005
How Cool is this???
I stumbled upon this web page.

those are five of my books. five books that i've written that have MY name on them as the author.

I'm famous.
I just can't
get on the Harry Potter love train.

I've seen the first three movies and read the first two books. they were okay.
just okay.

not great. not crazy page turners. mostly i read them because it seemed like the thing to do. everyone else was so into them and loved them, so i figured that i probably would too., everyone's asking me if i've read the new one. i can't even get through the 3rd book - and i know what happens, since i've seen the movie.

i just don't get what all the crazy fuss is about? anyone else?
Pissed Off
i don't know if it's because i'm at the end of my pregnancy, but everything is beginning to annoy me.

i argued with the husband all the way to the subway this morning.
the kids were grating at my every nerve this morning.
and my nanny has completely pissed me off.

as i was getting the kids ready to go this morning, she asked me (in my frazzled state) if she could go to the mall once the kids are in camp. she said it was because she "wanted to buy something." WHAT THE HELL?

Firstly, it's friday. as of 5 o'clock this afternoon, she's completely free until monday morning at 8 am. surely she could find some time in there to buy whatever it is she wanted to buy.

Secondly, this is the second time this week she's asked me to go somewhere during work hours. on monday it was the bank because she needed money, she said. i said fine on Monday, but i am not happy if this is going to become a habit.

and lastly, the fact that she's asking me leads me to believe that while i was still working, she was slacking when the kids were in camp. she was for sure going to the bank (to take out money to support the mall habit, no doubt) and the mall.

i'm not happy.
i don't think i'm wrong to be upset about this.
i know i have to say something to her. i just can't. i have such a hard time with these things.
the husband says that at the end of the day, she's my employee and if i continue to give her an inch, she's going to take a foot. he's right. it's just too hard to do.

i can't be the boss.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
News From Hollywood-land...
~~here she is folks. A peek at Zahara Jolie:

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~~I still am having trouble getting over this Jack Osbourne thing. He really looks like a completely different person!

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~~Al Pacino is said to be romantically linked these days to Charmed star Rose McGowan.

Pacino is 65.
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McGowan is 31.
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~~Hilary Duff is sportin' some scary new gigantic veneers:
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now, she's beginning to morph into her ugly sister...
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
cue the circus music...
today was freak show day at Dr. R's.
my actual appointment was completely uneventful. haven't gained any weight. woohoo!
blood pressure normal. baby is perfect.

it was in the waiting room where the real action was.
he was running really late today and i didn't get seen until 2:55 for my 2 o'clock appointment, so i got a good chance to check out all the other people waiting.

first of all, i'm never one to ask for help, but not one person got up for me when i checked in - and let me tell you, out of 15 chairs in the waiting room, only 3 of them were filled with preggos. but, whatever, no biggie. gravity is my friend these days, so i wasn't bothered.

so...on to the freaks.
first, there was a girl who was really cute, there with her mom and grandma. after i took note at how cute her face was, i noticed that she had dark hair on her shoulders, her back, her upper arms. i have never seen that before - well, at least not on a 4 year old child. it was scary.

then, there was the woman who decided to pick her nose with her pinky, right there in the open, check out her find, and then wipe it on the chair (note to self: do not use that chair again..)

then there was the woman who came out of her appointment and proceeded to adjust her nether regions right there in front of everyone. she was rearranging her underwear and grabbing at her crotch. it was disgusting.

then, a lady wearing a shirt that was about 6 sizes too small - she was busting out of the top, the bottom, the sides...anywhere one could bust out, she was doing it.

then there was the lady who takes me weight. who told me my breasts were enormous. ha.
so, i go tomorrow to the hairdresser...
for my pre-baby cut and highlight.

don't worry, folks, i will not be doing this:

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and while we're looking at this picture, can we focus for one second on those boobs? I think someone needs to teach Britney that proper support is important when you are pregnant and that bras are friends, not enemies.

those things are out of control...
my, how you've grown...
i know i haven't posted a picture of my big belly for a while.... it is...2 weeks and 2 days away from my due date!
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(and it's in black and white so as not to scare any of you away!)
i just fell on the stairs, trying to help my spiderman down the stairs. he insisted that i carry him. i insisted that if he truly was spiderman, he would never accept a lift from his mommy.

and...yeah...the bunny is fine...but...yeah...i'm fairly certain that i broke a toe.


***just a little update. it's black and blue and swollen. sheesh. this is exactly what i need right now. it's totally broken. grrrr...
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Look Ma...No Cavities...
I was terrified to go to the dentist today.
I was convinced that i was going to need a root canal. I'm not sure why I came to this conclusion. For the past few weeks, my lower left side of my mouth has been super sensitive to cold. For some reason, I decided that it meant I needed a root canal.

Well, my fears were calmed by my MALE hygienist. Male? has anyone ever seen a male hygienist before? He told me that my teeth were in great shape and i didn't have any cavities, and i certainly didn't need a root canal.

woohoo! I can rest easy now. No root canal.
cute things heard around our house...
the boy: "Daddy, look what i made in camp! I made it in arts and craps."

the girl: "Jhoanne (our nanny), your legs look just like Savtas (my mother in law)!" - pointing to her vericose veins. oy.

the girl, again (remember, she's 4): "Mommy, is that what you are wearing to brunch?" me: "Yes, is that okay with you?" "You can do whatever you want. I wouldn't wear that!"

my kids are cute!
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so...because my days at scholastic are over, i had to surrender my email address and my employee card. well, i managed to surrender one. i kept my pass. no one really asked me for it and i thought it may come in handy one of these days (let's say, if i want to sneak into the employee store...:))

so, because i've surrendered my email account, i realized that i've lost something very important. my site meter statistics.

i know the code name. but i've forgotten the password. i can't - for the life of me - figure out what it is. i'm assuming it's one of those generic ones that they give you. either way, i have no clue what it is. i can have them email it to me, but unfortunately, the email that they have listed is my email address that i can no longer access.

this is VERY frustrating.
Monday, July 18, 2005
I'm a Free Man
and i'm going out the front door.

what movie?
Giblet, you are NOT allowed to answer., on my first day off, i took my kidlets to camp for the first time. let me tell you, it felt amazing! just being able to walk them into camp and kiss them goodbye! what a treat for me!

then i went to brunch with Tova - my other "on maternity leave as of friday" friend! then we went to babies r us to register. ah! that was so much fun. there's NOTHING like that freedom to take that wand it your hand and just click, click, click on any product you want. it almost feels like you bought it.

i wasn't going to register at all, since i do have 2 kids already and have most of the gear, but i figured it might help some people who are looking to get us something and don't know what to get. it's mostly smallish lamaze toys....LOVE THOSE. i had to throw out some of my baby toys since the boy was such a spitter....

and of course i stopped for my frap. had to.

then on to my nesting. first project. master bedroom. clean up the clutter.

all in all, it's been a wonderful day. relaxing. i think a girl could get used to this.
oh My Jude..
Jude Law has admitted to cheating on his fiancee, Sienna Miller, with his nanny, Daisy Wright.

apparently, this is her:
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Oh, Jude, if you were going to least you could have given me a call. just kidding.
Friday, July 15, 2005
The End of an Era
it feels almost surreal.
my last day at work.

it's incredibly bittersweet for me. on one hand, i'm thrilled to be moving on the this next stage in life. stay at home mommy to 3 kids (what the hell am i thinking???). i'm looking forward to not having to deal with deadlines and bosses in bad moods and not having the flexibility to do things like playdates and make doctor appointments.

but, on the other hand, i love my job. i love working. i love having something to get dressed nicely and put on make-up for. i love the feeling of accomplishment. i love knowing that the last 18 months have been such a great experience and that in a month or so, i'll have 10 books published with ME as the author (well, only 6 with my actual name on them...the other 4 with a stinkin' pseudonym that i didn't even get to choose).


and wanna hear something else crazy?
the husband, who i promised would be out of commission for 3 days, is not disappointing. He has not woken up - with the exception of 1/2 an hour to go to the doctor yesterday morning - since Wednesday night! insanity. and i'm NOT stretching the truth at all. he's barely moved in the position he's lying in in my bed. When do i start to worry?

lucky me, i got to sleep on the couch last night - although i'm not quite sure that sleep can rightfully be used here. i did VERY little sleeping.
Anyone Else...
who knows my daughter think it's funny that there's a hurrican Emily?
Thursday, July 14, 2005
the husband has strep.
not that I don't feel bad for him, because, really I do. I know he's not feeling well. He's got chills, sweats, he can't swallow. I've had strep. It sucks.

but his strep means 2 things:
a) chances are good that I will get it, which is EXACTLY what I need at this point in my pregnancy


b) he will be incapacitated for the next 3 days. skippy.
Date Night.
yesterday, after my computer blew up on me (this is not a screen started sparking, and then just shut off and began was very, very scary) and i realized that there was no air in the building, i left work early.

it was nice to get home a little early. i took my nanny by surprise, though, because she was making some very strange concoction with my hand blender. all i saw were random fruits and milk...i had to run upstairs because just the idea of it was grossing me out. ew.

then i drove downtown to the husband's office. it was insane. i left my house at exactly 4 o'clock and by 4:25 i was downtown, in front of his office. i couldn't believe it. i thought it was going to take me an hour. it was nice though - we were able to walk around downtown and see the st. lawrence market, which was pretty cool to see, even though they didn't have any salt water taffy...

then we went to see Batman Begins, which, surprisingly, i rather enjoyed. and all you people who said that Katie Holmes ruined the movie? she really wasn't bad, i thought. she still does the weird eye thing that she did on Dawson's Creek, though.

all in all, it was such a nice evening, except for one thing. i had my first experience with ankle swelling. i guess it wasn't really my fault. i was walking around for over an hour, over 8 months pregnant, in 98 degree heat. i was asking for it, really. as we were walking, i looked down at the sausages i used to call my feet, and got very, very upset about it. but, alas, the second we walked into the theater and sat down, the sausages magically turned back into my feet. thank goodness. i'm rather fond of them.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Can Ya'll join me...
in my official Denise Richards loathing.

this, my friends, is 5 weeks postpartum:
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First Time Jitters for a Third Time Baby
In some ways, even though this is my third baby, i feel like a first time mom.
Both times i went into labor, it was the exact same way.
I was on the elliptical trainer, got off, laid down on my bed to watch regis and kelly, was on the phone with dikla, and my water broke.

no joke. both times.

so, i guess you can say i took the easy way out. when your water breaks, you go to the hospital. it's that simple. there's no timing involved, no questions of "should we go in? should we not go in?" it's right there for you. you must head to the hospital if your water breaks.

this time around, however, i'm having serious period-like cramping all the time. last night i had contractions that were 4 minutes apart for 4 hours. they didn't really get intensely painful, so i figured there was no way i was in labor. turns out, i was right, and at 10 oclock they just turned off, but how do i know? they say that you know. but, i'm not so sure. and since it will be my third delivery, there's a chance i may progress quickly.

so...really, how do i know when to go in?
i would really love to avoid the running to the hospital only to have them laugh in my face and say, "Ha! You're so stupid! You're not in labor. Go home."
i'm way too pregnant...
It's funny. I'm usually NOT the type to get sensitive about things like invitations.
If a bunch of my friends are getting together, and I wasn't invited, honestly, i don't think twice about it. really. people who know me well, know this is true.

I guess I'm just comfortable in my relationships with my friends NOT to think "oh my goodness! They didn't invite me to their barbeque, but they invited couples X and Y. They must not like me." I have lots of friends who get insulted by these type of situations.

In the same way that I can't feel obligated to invite every single one of my friends, every single time i do anything or go anywhere, i would not expect my friends to feel obligated either.

Which is why it's irking me so much that an incident happened this week that I - uncharacteristically so - just can't get past. Perhaps it's the fact that i'm 8 months pregnant and my hormones are completely out of whack. or perhaps it's because it's family. Whatever the reason, i felt slightly overlooked. and I HATE FEELING THIS WAY.

basically, to make a long story short, my sister in law and brother in law made a birthday party for my nephew. they wanted to keep it small - and only invited 6 of his friends. boy, they lucked out. they were able to give their 6 year old a party in the park, while i was forced to pay hundreds of dollars so my 4 year old could have a gymnastics party. but i digress...

anyway, the husband and i didn't think twice about it. and then my other sister in law said that they were at the party. okay, we thought, fine, maybe they were there to help out because my inlaws were at the cottage. then, on monday, we get a huge picture folder of all the photos from the party.

in the pictures are Ben and his 6 friends, my sister and brother in law, my other sister and brother in law, and my other brother in law. EVERYONE but us.

okay, fine, i understand if they wanted to keep it small and not invite a ton of people. but, it was in the freakin' park. they weren't paying by the head. and they served pizza and cake. (as a side note, all 3 of their children were at my daughter's birthday party....where we paid for each person....but whatever...that's us, not them)

the least they could have done was invite my daughter. and if they didn't want to invite her to the park part, invite her to come and have cake at the end of the party. and if you are going to make a party and have your entire family there except your brother, DON'T SEND HIM THE PICTURES. that's just plain old rude.

am i totally crazy for feeling this way?
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Holy Falling Babies, Batman!!
every time i stand up, i feel like i just got off a horse.
I swear, it's like one of these days i'm going to stand up and ....HELLO!...a baby is just going to drop out.

that's how low this little bugger is lying right now...
Just Give Me My Wings...
..because I'm all set to FLY!!

I'm not quite sure it makes any sense to start this a few weeks before i have a baby...but i figure, i'm sooo sick of the clutter in my house that i have to start somewhere...and since FRIDAY is my last day of work (yes, yes, i'm currently, as we speak, doing a happy dance) i'm ready to start CLEANING and ORGANIZING.

The Flylady website is full of information. almost too much information. while reading through it, though, i stumbled 2 very useful activities:

1) there is something called a HOTSPOT. This is any area that, when clean, if you lay one piece of paper on it, the paper will begin to multiply and before you know it, the surface will be covered. ah, i have these places all over my house. my kitchen counter, right next to my fridge. my nightstand. my computer desk. (yes, Virginia, there IS a desk under there.)

so, because clutter attracts clutter, the goal is to nip this in the bud. Get rid of that pile, find the surface underneath, and stop the Hot Spot from becoming a raging Clutter inferno!

2) there is something called a 27-FLING BOOGIE. To do this task, you must take a garbage bag and walk through your home and throw away 27 items. Do not stop until you have collected all 27 items. Then close the garbage bag and pitch it. DO NOT LOOK IN IT!!! Just do it. do not pass go. do not collect $200. just do it!

so...i'm going to develop my own version of FLYing. i don't think i can commit to 700 emails a day with missions and zones and all sorts of scary things. BUT, i know i can do these two tasks. and most likely, just doing these, will help!
Monday, July 11, 2005
So, i was thrilled to hear the news that nearly four years after the collapse of the World Trade Center, Oscar-winning director Oliver Stone will direct a film based on the story of two police officers who were trapped in the rubble on Sept. 11, 2001.

But, why on earth did he sign on Blandy McBoring to star as Port Authority police Sgt. John McLoughlin. McLoughlin? ugh. pictures...
~~ this couple is weird. Quentin Tarantino and Shar Jackson? Huh?

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~~ Kristin Davis has ZERO fashion sense. the jeans are both high-waisted and tapered? What would Charlotte have to say about this?

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~~ Mary-Kate has fun!

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~~ Britney and her oompa loompa look cute! Kevin looks like crap.

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~~ and Dustin Hoffman has scary man-boobs!**

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** actually, the image is from an outtake from I Heart Huckabees, and obviously the man-boobs are fake. but they are still scary. and i probably will still have nightmares.
Something i DON'T recommend...
sneezing while you are having a contraction.

Please....No More Weekends!!
oh...i used to love the weekends. when i was home with the kids, before i went back to work when the boy was 18 months, i lived for the weekend. the husband was home, and we spent time together. good quality family time when i wasn't battling the two kiddies solo.

nowadays, i dread the weekends.
i find them too chaotic and tiring.
we try so hard to get everything jam-packed into those precious two days.

but, i think the biggest problem is that the husband seems to have forgotten that i'm less than 4 weeks away from my due date. i'm moody. i'm huge. i'm uncomfortable. i'm tired. i'm cranky. we went to Canada's Wonderland with the kids and the Eisners. It was a lot of fun...but it was still 96 degrees outside, and we were there from 9:30 until 2:30. it was a long day to be out in the sun. i was on my BEST behaviour, though, and enjoyed the day until about 2, when i realized my fingers were blown up like sausages and i no longer had any circulation in them. then i knew it was time to go home.

but, once we got home, the day got more chaotic. we were supposed to come inside and relax. the kids were tired and were begging to watch School of Rock (don't ask...they are obsessed... and the husband caves to this obsession because clearly he'd rather watch this with them than Freaky Friday and A Cinderella Story). i was supposed to relax with the kids while the husband finished up the IKEA building.

well, well, well. somehow my nanny - who never throws anything away - threw away the receipt for the one unit that had 3 broken pieces. what are the chances? so, basically, instead of relaxing for the rest of the afternoon, I ransacked my house searching for the damn IKEA receipt. lucky for me that IKEA did the exchange without the receipt or i'd probably be signing divorce papers this afternoon.

then, the husband sent me out in the heat to buy the veggies for supper - because he didn't feel like stopping on his way home from IKEA. what the hell?

so, needless to say, by the time the kids bedtime rolled around, i fell asleep right along with them. the problem with the naps, however, is that when i wake up at...say, 8:30, i can't possibly fall back asleep. (and i managed to wake up with a gigantic jimmy neutron on my forehead...the stamp from my hand must have been resting on my forehead...) so, i was up all night. tossing and turning. tring to get comfortable.

argh. what was it that said the weekends were relaxing???
Friday, July 08, 2005
My Last Starbucks vent(i) - i Swear!
i will now be boycotting the chapters at hwy 7 store.
so, today i go in and order my grande coffee frappuccino light.
same as every day. no surprises.

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so, i'm waiting. and waiting.
15 minutes later i realize the trainee - who was moving in completely slow motion - had forgotten my drink. i felt badly because i could see how frustrated and scared she was, but i mean, come one, 15 minutes?

so, i told her that i waiting forever. she apologized and began to make me my drink. i realized when she put the ice in that she used the tall size scoop instead of the grande. so, when she poured it in, she hands it to me and says, "tall coffe frappuccino in a grande cup" to which i replied, "it's supposed to be a grande." she gets all flustered and then begins making me a new one.

once she's finished, she hands it to me and says, "oh, did jason give you a coupon for a free drink?" NO, he didn't. but, i think that's the least they can do. so, she goes to ask Jason for one.

"Sorry, we're all out of them."

and that was that.
i will not be returning to that store again.
Pagophagia is the compulsive eating of ice.
Holy crap. it has a name.

There's even a website for ice chewers.

Call me crazy...but i didn't think chewing ice was a big deal...
Time for my favorite game!!
Guess the celeb?

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People are Catching On..
...and joining me in my Piven love.

they love him because of his character on Entourage.
they weren't there when he was in Lucas and One Crazy Summer.
they weren't there for Say Anything and Singles.
they didn't notice when he auditioned for the role of George on an episode of Seinfeld. (and he nailed it, btw)
fine..i'll give a few of them the Larry Sanders Show and Old School. but that's it. they don't love him like i love him.

it took his role as Ari Gold, a seemingly sleazeball-y Hollywood agent who has made, "Let's hug it out, bitch." a household phrase, for people to really start noticing. even the New York Times has taken notice. they love them some Piven.

a few of my most favorite Ari lines:
"Call me Helen Keller because I'm a f$%^ing miracle worker!"

Eric: "Tom Cruise is going to play Pablo Escobar? C'mon, the guy's not even Hispanic."
Ari "Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That's what actors do. They pretend."

"I want you to pass this message along to Dana. Tell her that I still have the pictures from CancĂșn. Tell her that I'm going to start a Web site. I'm going to take a full-page ad out in The L.A. Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called I' and that no password or fee will be required. Tell her I want a call back." (The NYT liked this one too...)
My Kryptonite
there are a few things in this world that i hate to do more than kryptonite, if you will. i hate to call strangers. i hate to put away clean laundry. and i hate, hate, hate to ask for help.

so, imagine how thrilled i was to have to ask for help, not once, but several times at Ikea yesterday. for some reason, the husband decided it would be a great idea if i went back to get the mattress and the 8 drawer dresser that they didn't have in stock on Monday.

I agreed, only because i knew it meant that i got to go to Ikea by myself. oh, i so enjoyed it. walking around the place looking at all the little things i wanted to buy. i was actually very well behaved and didn't buy too much. but then i entered my own hell. the self serve area.

I had to get this guy to lift the two boxes for the dresser on to my cart. Then i got laughed at while i attepted to put the twin-sized mattress on the cart as well. then i got laughed at again while trying to push the cart to the check-out area. i don't blame these people. i'm sure i looked hysterical.

then, i needed to back my van up to the side of the building to load the car. i found a great spot that gave me tons of room to pull my car in. but, somehow, from the time i left to go and get my car, someone had pulled in right next to my spot, leaving me barely enough room to squeeze my new van (that i've NEVER backed up before) into the spot. yikes! i was sweating by the time i managed to accomplish this. but i did manage to do it! i was so proud of myself.

then, i needed to find someone to help me load the car. i figured out how to use my stow n' go seats, which have already paid for themselves. they are AWESOME. i highly recommend. then, i chased down this very bitter Ikea employee who helped me load the car.

sheesh. that may be the last time i'll be doing that.
ah...but in the end, it was worth it for the funky napkins, and the tea lights, and the ice cube trays :)
Thursday, July 07, 2005
I Sure Do Love Rumors!
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there is a good one floating around that Ashley Olsen (who looks totally uncharacteristically cute here) is dating a new man....and it's none other than my honey Jared Leto.

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just imagine the gorgeous babies...
From Ang...
thanks ;)

My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me ABOUT SEX... "How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me about GENETICS... "You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING... You are going to get it when we get home.

And my all time favorite thing -- JUSTICE... "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU. Then you'll see what it's like."
How Cute Are These Kids??
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mine are the skinny boy on the right and the diva in the middle, posing.
Preggo Update - Week 36
well, it happened.
i hit the 20 pound mark. just barely. but there it was. plain as day. i've gained 20 pounds.
anyone else remember when i said i was going to gain the same 24 that i gained with my other two??? yes, i'm right on track for that accomplishment. why one earth did i even try to watch what i ate during this pregnancy, if it was predetermined how much i was going to gain? so, this morning, i helped myself to a giant piece of chocolate chip banana bread....and i enjoyed every last morsel.

Doctor didn't have anything really exciting to say. baby's head is low, in good position. good size baby, good strong heartbeat. could be this week. could be a month from now.

i'm still getting lots of contractions. in fact, i'm having one right now.
i bought myself some red raspberry leaf tea. apparently, it's supposed to prepare your body for labor. i'm terrified of all those herbal labor inducers. the truth is, i'm ready for this to be over, but there's no way in hell i'm drinking castor oil to get this baby out! also, i'm looking forward to having some time off before the baby's i'm not all that rushed to get it out.

i've heard all the ways - - - black cohosh, blue cohosh, evening primrose oil, castor oil, sex, eggplant parmesan, spicy foods. I think, with the exception of the tea (and the maybe the sex), it will be au natural for me. i mean, why risk it? and knowing my body....none of it would work anyway.

but come back to me in a month, and will see how au natural i am.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
"I'm the King of the Couch!"
Tom's taking his one-man act on the road.
This time it's to the View.

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it's truly like a bad car accident. no matter how hard i try, i just can't turn away. His all-out crazy is fascinating.
I've Lost My Husband...
...and all it took was a little thing called XBOX.

Truthfully, i didn't care that he got it.
In fact, i even encouraged him to get it.

But i got myself a harsh dose of reality last night when i thought we were both going upstairs, but instead, he sat down in front of his xbox.

He looked at me and said, "I can't come up now. There are 5 new maps on Halo."
and he was serious.

oh my.
he's gone to the dark side.
How American are YOU??
You Are 76% American
You're as American as red meat and shooting ranges.
Tough and independent, you think big.
You love everything about the US, wrong or right.
And anyone who criticizes your home better not do it in front of you!

lifted from Snarky. :)
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Anyone Else??
Completely sick of summer tv.

i NEED the new tv season to start. pronto. unfortunately, i have a good few months until the shows start up again...when is it again? end of september. jesus, that seems really far away.

the only thing that's keeping me sane is season 2 of Entourage. otherwise, i'm not even turning my tv on these days...
I Think I'm Paying Her Too Much
my nanny bought herself a bike on saturday.
a bike!

i was dying.
Ikea is Swedish for...
don't take your 4 and 2 year olds with you when you go., Ikea is a fantastic place. i could spend hours there just buying up all the little chotchkies (sp?) - tea lights and votives and funky napkins and cute little picture frames...i could go on and on...but, it just wasn't that easy to do with my two animals.

all i heard the ENTIRE time was "i want to go play with the toys" that they saw at the front entrance. finally, we made it to the toys and.....drumroll please....the boy was too small. so, how could i let the girl go and deprive the boy? so, instead we all suffered - the girl, the boy, and I.

We did manage to buy furniture for the boy's room - which was our entire reason for going, so at least we were successful. otherwise, i would have been truly peeved. It's actually quite nice. Hemnes, it's called. I'm very excited to finally set up his room.

we came home at 8:00, we put the kids to bed, and then i put myself to bed at 9:15. ah. it was wonderful. but yet, i still don't feel rested. and i still feel the need to go back to Ikea. I'm not done with the place yet!
Monday, July 04, 2005
I'm annoyed. and i'm wet.
argh. as i was driving home in the pouring rain, my gas light came on.
crap, i thought, i'm going to have to get gas.
but, that's the beauty of pay-at-the-pump. i'd be covered and i wouldn't have to go into the building.

um, yeah. of course, that was only true until all of their machines went dead and i had to go inside to see the cashier. lucky me.

i got soaked. and i was not happy about it. and now the cashier knows it.
A little ego stroking...
goes a long way.
especially when you are 8 months pregnant and feel like a heifer.

it was from the hot worker at Starbucks (he looks EXACTLY like Ryan Phillipe).
and on top of it, he gave me the dome lid and the best frap i've had in weeks ;)

color me happy today.
Oh No!!!!!!!!!!! and other ditties...
~~ What in god's name has happened to my Jude? I realize that he's balding, but what's with the outlandish combover??? i hope and pray that it's for a part in some movie...and the superflaming outfit?? a scarf, Jude? Really?

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~~ Okay, could Apple Martin be any cuter?? the kid is sooo adorable!
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~~ Let the speculation begin for yet another celebrity. that Bennifer part deux are expecting, it's only fair that the original Jen have a baby of her own...
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To My Fellow Americans...
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enjoy your day off....while i'm sitting here at work...not at all bitter...:)
So, last night we threw a big ole' bash for my father in law's 60th birthday. i thought it turned out really great in the all the work really paid off.

Truth be told, i didn't do THAT much (although losing my husband to all the bbq'ing - - - 75 pieces of chicken and 60 steaks...counts just as much) - i spent 3 hours making a cd that had music from the 60's on it (it was a 60's themed party - and i promise i will post pics when they are uploaded - i was just too wiped last night), i made 30 hasselback potatoes and chocolate chip cookies.

my inlaws - who i've only known with salt and pepper-y hair (more salt and less pepper) - dyed their hair and beard (my father in law's bead, not my mother in law's...ha!) black. it was hysterical. definitely the highlight of the evening.

the lowlight of the evening, however, were the mosquitoes that came out with a vengeance at about 9 o'clock, and needless to say, i was eaten alive.

and then this morning, on my drive to work, i see a pesky little mosquito in my car. a stowaway from last night. yikes! and i couldn't catch it. I just sat in traffic, watching it fly around the inside of my windshield.

and now i'm itchy as hell.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
So Much for My Day Off... day off on friday turned into my day as a nanny...

i woke up at 7, cooked for 4 hours.
then i did 6 loads of laundry (because for some reason my nanny decided she didn't need to do any this week)
then i washed the floors in the kitchen ON MY HANDS AND KNEES (for the same reason as above)
then i continued to organize the house, while i watched two overtired, edgy, kvetchy kids.

sure was a fun day.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Takin' the Day Off...
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to spend the day with the kidlets.
be back Monday :)

I'm a displaced American writer, mom, and wife living in Canada who muses about my life, my kids, my tv watching and my slight obsession with celebrities.
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(Random Site)
Reading Lolita in Tehran * Azar Nafisi
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close * Jonathan Safran Foer
i bet you look good on the dance floor * arctic monkeys
the skin of my yellow country teeth * clap your hands say yeah
chasing cars * snow patrol
movie script ending * death cab for cutie
anthems for a 17-year-old girl * broken social scene
all these things that I've done * the killers
one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) * stars
a little less 16 candles a little more touch me * fall out boy
the great salt lake * band of horses
october, first account * be your own pet
mushaboom * feist
letter from an occupant * new pornographers

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