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Friday, April 28, 2006
Confession Friday...
here's a little secret for today.

i bought myself the most amazing pair of jeans.
for $34.50

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i am seriously in love with them.
they are from Gap kids.
and i was almost tempted to buy the exact same pair for my 5 year old daughter.
how sad is that??

and they have floral pockets and a slight elasticated waistband at the back.
AND they have adjustable waists. heh.
but, my god, they are so freakin' comfortable.
and the length is perfect.

i may never go back to buying $100 jeans again.
screw abercrombie and fitch.
my tv night...
Greg's Coconut Phone revisited AKA Survivor

~~Cirie is amazing. she is in complete control of this game...but is seemingly flying completely under the radar. she's totally going to win this thing. ah, and i was smiling from ear to ear at her fish catch. Really, her glee at catching the fish -- and then being scared of it while still gleeful -- was adorable.
~~he...and best line of the night? “Captain America’s been swimming around out there for 3 weeks…NOTHIN’!” Bwah!
~~Courtney was starting to grow on me and i really would have liked to have seen Shane or Aras bite it...but alas, Danielle is a lot less smart that i thought she was. she was better off voting off Aras and keeping Courtney...
~~yay, Bruce. it was so nice to see all the clapping when he came out.
~~Terry wins a car and seals his fate. and how come that wasn't mentioned at all?
~~Everyone's faces at tribal? priceless! okay...and why does no one want to take loony Shane to the final 2??? i think everyone has a shot to win against him! (although he might come to their shitty apartments and kill them...)

MMM...Rigottoni....AKA the OC

~~Big Korea was amazing - when those 2 girls screamed and clapped I fell out of my chair.
~~drunk Summer dancing. he. and falling off the stage. he. can we put an order in for more drunk Summer scenes??
~~Loved Summer's dig at Anna's hair.
~~i couldn't heart Seth more, i think. "Has anybody got a towelette?!" and "We'll kiss....later." and only answering to Boba Fett. heeee.
~~ooh, and Taylor..."He has this amazingly hairless body like a seal."
~~Holy random Lisa Tucker. what the hell was that? i guess it was like George Lucas in last year's prom episode.
~~I'm completely 100% meh about Theresa.
~~who the F^&$ck is Kevin? :)
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Naked in Markham
well..this morning i left the house without two important things:

(and all you sickos out wasn't my underwear...although that's been known to happen...he...and a funny side story. one of my friends in high school - i won't use her name here just in case she's reading - showed up to school one day without a bra. she forgot to put one on. forgot! a bra! now that's never happened to me...these puppies have always needed proper support...)

my wallet. and my cell phone.
i'm feeling very, very naked right now.
more naked then how i feel when i leave my car to be serviced and i don't have it for the rest of the day.
more naked, even, then how i feel when i forget to wear underwear. he.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
the next canadian idol
and then there were six....AKA American Idol
top three:
Elliot - his vocals are amazing. amazing. he's so good. i mean, he even makes Paula wet cry.
Chris - HAWT. that's all i have to say.
Paris - probably one of my least favorite songs...but, they're right...she really can sing anything.

bottom three:
Katharine - wow...the judges totally ripped Kat a new one, didn't they? it seemed weird. sure, it wasn't a great great performance, but it wasn't THAT bad. and i totally saw some mcphunderpants last night. and how rude was Ryan "maybe people with the volume turned down will vote for you".
Kellie - WHAT. WAS. THAT.???
Taylor - i dunno. he just totally lost me on this one. not a good song choice for him.

going tonight? it's gotta be the pickler. it's just got to.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
it's all mine
Image hosting by Photobucket

now i can finally shut up about wanting this camera.
we found it for $379.
and it came with a free printer.

in other, less important news, Mandrea gets the boardroom axe. she failed miserably on a task that involved personality. color me shocked. i must say, though, when Allie was going on about the bloodiest boardroom ever and smearing blood on the walls? creeeeeeepy.

and also, don't hate me, but i'm actually enjoying that show, "What about Brian." i'm still trying to get past the fact that the show is centered around Matt Camden, but it's enjoyable. 3 episodes in and i don't hate it. that's usually a good sign.
Monday, April 24, 2006
I hate blogger
please help.
i need to get this blog off of blogger.
but i know nothing about web hosts and publishing platforms
and wordpress and moveable type and typepad etc.
what's good? what's not?
the suburban shopping paradise AKA where the pretty people are
I spent the day yesterday with Ilana (and Isabella and Kayla in tow) at Sherway Gardens.
It was so nice. Would have been nicer had we not had the strollers with us…but, truth be told, Kayla slept the ENTIRE day and Isabella was pretty well-behaved, considering she didn’t sleep at all.
So, I’m discovering that stores with beautiful people (like Hollister and Abercrombie) are not meant for strollers. First of all, it’s almost pitch-black in Hollister, so dark that even if I didn’t have a stroller, I wouldn’t be able to see in front of me. Navigation was almost impossible. I was tempted to skip the out-the-door, around-the-store line-up for a fitting room and simply take my chances with the sizing. But, somehow, Ilana got a pink-polo’ed adorable dude to open up the giant change room for both of us.
On my way in, another pink-polo’ed, equally, if not more, adorable dude knocked into me, sending my coffee all over the floor. I raced into the change room quickly, before the next pink-polo’ed adorable dude (noticing a theme here?) had to come and clean up the mess. Embarrassing. To say the least.
But, at least I was able to get some clothing – including – yes, you guessed it, a pink polo. I couldn’t resist. And you know what? It was totally worth the 30 minute line-up to pay for it.

also? a walked in on someone in the bathroom, which was, for some strange reason, much more embarssing for me than it was for her. and i saw a man walk out of the bathroom with a 3-foot long piece of toilet paper attached to his cowboy boot. poor, poor guy. people were actually pointing and staring. had i any balls, i would have told him. but, alas, i'm a big red chicken.

also? ilana found an orange thong in her downstairs bathroom. if these belong to you, she's more than happy to return them. no, i'm not joking.
Where is Vito? AKA Sopranos
?Many people are angry that I haven’t been recapping Sopranos. I was doing this because I know several people who aren’t watching it on time…and won’t even let me mention the show at all, let alone give a full spoiler-filled commentary. Well, to those people, I say….IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED SOPRANOS THIS SEASON YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON SUPER QUALITY TV AND IT’S YOUR LOSS. DO NOT KEEP READING IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THIS SEASON.

That being said, how freakin’ awesome is this season?

~ First, Kirsten on the OC falls off the wagon, now Cecil B DeMoltisanti follows suit. I’m actually, surprisingly, loving Christopher and his celebrity hijinks. I loved the Ben Kingsley scenes and Lauren Bacall? Only Chrissy could get away with roughing her up.

~personally, I loathe Artie. Every time I see him and his annoying, “pretty soon we’ll be needing a high chair” antics I want to strangle him, but this - “Can I get you a martina? It’s like a martini, but it’s from Albania... well apparently they go down real easy.” Gold. Pure gold.

~Adriana shout-out!! “how many times are you going to play the Adrianna card?”

~"Law and Order, the S.U.V." heh.

~loved Sir Kingsley’s long drawn out "fuuuucckk" on the airplane (it was almost as good as Tony’s “he’s a fa-ag” last week)
Friday, April 21, 2006
a finger in a dyke...
my friend Hana is seriously the funniest person i know.
i think the funniest part about her is that she's so sweet and so unintentionally funny.
and sometimes things come out of her mouth and i swear, i'm peeing in my pants.
her newest story didn't let me down.

she was in a meeting at work and someone was talking and she said (totally paraphrasing what she said), "you should all thank me because i put my finger in the dyke and saved the day."

Hana's mouth dropped to the floor. she was in total shock.
apparently, she had never heard of this legend.

so, she looked at her coworked and whispered,
"she put her finger," and motioned a little up the butt hand motion, "In the dyke?"
after she repeated this several times she went on to say,
"is she a lesbian?"

i swear. in hysterics was i.
Must-see tv
“I put Cirie on my back...all 300lbs of her.” AKA Survivor
~~Shane brings new meaning to the word lunatic. i hate, hate, hate him. poor Courtney, finding out that her tribe likes her less than they like Shane? i would probably take that to heart, too. but, Courtney? when a man is on the floor writhing in pain, hearing you sing him a song is probably NOT going to help!
~~poor Bruce. that's a tough, tough way to leave the game. oh, and the music in the backgroung when the medics came. the most hyserical moment on survivor, ever.
~~I really, really want Cirie to win this whole damn thing, but i really wanted her to send Shane to exile island.
~~yes, Shane, it's Courtney who personalizes everything. and not you. right.
~~Aras is a tool if he truly believes that Terry is the one who wouldn't be able to survive.
~~Courtney to Shane: "I want to be on your backside and I want you on my backside too." BWAH

"I'm touching Ivy" AKA The OC
~~NO! I actually screamed at my tv when Kiki fell off the wagon. i'm so upset about this.
~~was anyone else so completely distracted by Anna's hair? yikes. bad, bad, bad extensions. and the tan? nobody in pittburgh is that tan.
~~Theresa's lying. 100%
~~Volchok watches the Sound of Music. that was sweet, in a creepy kind of way. okay, and also, someone might want to tell Marissa that Rolph in the sound of music was a freakin' nazi.
~~call me crazy but i actually liked Marissa in this episode. i never thought i'd say that!!!
i know i've been slightly missing the last week or so, but it's been one hell of a week.
i hate this passover holiday and am so thankful that it's over.
it's just too much. and it's not even the food. because that i can deal with.
it's the weeks and weeks of preparation.
it's the having to "turn over" my kitchen to be pesadick (that's the word. no joke. and i seriously can't say it without laughing.) and then having to turn it back over to be regular.
it's the having to constantly cook and clean and cook and clean.
it's the having to take off two days of work at the beginning and two days of work at the end.

anyway, it's over.
and i survived.
and i don't have to do it again until next year.
and i'll secretly hope we're going back to the hotel.

our friends had a bris this morning for their new baby - Jonathan Aaron. so cute. love love love the name. my friend Sarah, the skinny bitch, i hate right now. she had a freakin' c-section last week and is already skinnier than i am. HATE. HATE. but, the fact that they had starbucks coffee at their bris made up for the fact that i had to be out of the house this morning at 7:15.

my two older kids are out of control as of late.
these days of no school and staying up too late and having family members in town has really taken its toll.
on wednesday night, the boy decided to pee in the basement. and no, it wasn't an accident. how do i know? it's NOT an accident when the child pulls down his pants and pees on the floor.
so, he was put on the steps for an automatic 3 minute time-out.
about 20 minutes later the girl comes downstairs.
"Oh, no," she says, "daniella and joshie are doing something crazy, i can't even say what it is!"
"What did they do, Emily?"
"They peed on the floor in Joshie's room!"
so, joshie gets punished again.
and somewhere along the line, the husband realizes that the girl definitely has something to do with it. after some careful interrogation on our parts, she fesses up. she told them to do it. and then after they did it, she ratted them out.

there's just a little tiny wee bit of evil in my daughter. yikes.
so, there was punishment.
the girl and the boy were sent to bed. no stories. no songs. bed.
then we were supposed to go to my inlaws for lunch. my sister and brother in law were in from Montreal and the kids were so excited to see them. we went with the baby, and left them at home with our nanny. they were devasted.
but it worked. this was really the first real punishment our kids had.
it was so hard. i had a hard time leaving them. a really hard time.
but it was so necessary.
where did these kids learn the art of peeing on the floor??


in other news, i still can't believe that the Tomkitten landed on the same day, in the same hospital as Brooke Shields' baby Grier. it's such a simple twist of fate. i wonder if Tom paid a visit to Brooke.
also, does anyone else find it funny that Moses Martin was born in Mount Sinai hospital???

hmmm..what else have i missed in the last couple of days?

Ace bites it on American Idol. this was a no-brainer this week. it was his turn to go. plus, after that horrid bun display, it was only right to give him the heave-ho. i was acutally so pessimistic about Rod Stewart week, but i thought most of the contestants were AMAZING. and Rod? hysterical. his baby? soooo cute.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
the blue power ranger fox
there is this concept on Passover of the Afikomen.
in our house, the children (i use this term loosely, because when it comes to this tradition, most of us stay children forever...) try to "steal" it and then when they have to give it back, bargain for something special.

this year, the girl asked for make-up. and canada's wonderland passes (for the whole family, of course) and for a movie (and anything to replace Raise Your Voice and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen will be a welcome pleasure around our house). the boy asked for winnie the pooh sunglasses, a spiderman bike and a blue power ranger fox. what's that you ask? exactly!

last night we went to toys r us.

emily got her make-up set. skippy. what this means for me is that my daughter will now look like she's been hit by Homer's make-up gun on a regular basis. great.
joshie opted for the cooler sunglasses. spongebob squarepants.
and he opted for the cooler bike - the one with the shocks and gears and all that jazz.
and then we tried to find the blue power ranger fox.

we found the power rangers.
green. check. red. check. pink. check. blue? nope.
we looked for foxes? nope.
what the heck is a power ranger fox anyway?
so he cried. and he cried. and he cried.

when we got to the car. he cried some more
"Why can't i watch my power ranger movie."
hold it.
"The blue power ranger fox is a movie?"
"Joshie, buddy? why didn't you say so when we were in the store?"
completely ignores us.
so, the husband goes back into toys r us and comes out with this. get it? blue. power ranger. fox.

* * * *

and i thought of two more weird things about myself.

1. i don't like to eat in front of people. at all. so this is a problem at work. sometimes i'll even wait until people are in meetings to eat. probably it's because i don't want anyone to see how crappy of an eater i am (yes, i realize that a slim fast bar and rice cake is not the healthiest of lunches). the only thing i am not uncomfortable eating in front of people is sushi. which, i think, is weird because it's not the most attractive of foods to eat. i'm pretty cloppy with my soy sauce and my mouth isn't big enough to fit around the whole piece so there are things flying all over and dropping. and this...for some STRANGE reason..doesn't bother me.

2. my friend told me a few years ago that she had a geographic tongue. and i had no clue what this was. it was kind of strange to look at, but so interesting. then, when i was pregnant with Isabella, i had one!! just out of the blue. spontaneous geography appeared on my tongue. and then i gave birth, and then it was gone. like Keyser Soze. weird, i tell you.
Monday, April 17, 2006
weird things
i've been tagged by Dawn.

6 weird things about me (rest assured, there are way way way more than 6. i believe this is clear to you since 2 out of my 6 involve drinking, and it's not even alcohol...) :

1. i blow my hair dry either completely naked or in a bra and underwear. always.
2. i only drink out of disposable containers. i cannot use a plastic cup (ew) or even a glass, even if i watched it come out of the dishwasher. oh, and once someone uses a cup of mine (including my children), i can't drink out of it again.
3. i don't drink enough during the day so when i get into bed at night, i open a water bottle, drink it, then fill it up about 4 more times and drink. and after that night, i will never use that water bottle again. but i won't throw it out, either. it will sit on my bedside table until someone else throws it away. and every night i use a new bottle, so sometimes there will be 4 or 5 before the husband finally tosses them.
4. i always think people are talking about me. if i ever see people whispering or talking near me, i know they are talking about me.
5. if i'm ever having trouble falling asleep, i sing the song "we didn't start the fire" in my head until i'm asleep. it always works and i've never gotten to the end.
6. when i was younger, i was obsessed with the book and the movie called, "Alex: the Life of a Child." it was about a girl who died of cystic fibrosis. obsessed. to the point where i wanted to change my name to Alex.

6 people i am tagging:

oh...and i ran this question by the husband. here's what he had to say. It's weird that i have to whip my head back when i have to swallow a pill. he's totally right. that's way weird and i always do that. i'm so bad at swallowing pills that i would prefer to drink liquid medicine over the pill form. and if i have to take antibiotics, i actually ask if it comes in chewable form. my gosh, i'm SUCH a loser!
apparently, the south beach diet isn't the only thing my sister and the husband have in common. they both are not subtle in their boob grabbing technique.

she walked into my house, and the first thing out of her mouth was,
"Did you get a boob job?"
she stood there staring at my chest, her mouth agape.
and then, she grabbed one.
just reached right out and took a hold of one of them.

"You've got awesome tits," she said.
Lived to tell the tale..
5 pounds.
that's how much weight i have gained since wednesday.
no, that's not a joke.
or an exaggeration.
5 freakin' pounds.

This trip with my family may have been the best one yet. mostly because after a little fight the first day, my mom played her "sulk" card the whole time. the sulk card is my favorite of hers since it's usually the quietest. it used to make me feel guilty, but i no longer buy into that and just laugh at how big of a baby a grown woman can actually be.

there were only a few things that annoyed the crap out of me this weekend.

#1. my mother and the photos. my mother is a child really, wrapped up in a 50-something body. i had a box of photos sitting on my kitchen table. my mother went through the pictures while no one was looking, took two out that she didn't like, ripped them up, and threw them away. the husband saw her do it and then found them in the garbage. seriously, who does that? my pictures. pictures that i like. pictures that she had no business throwing out.

#2. my mother and the mess. my mother is a terrible, terrible cook. so, naturally, when she's staying with me, she doesn't do much of it. there are, however, a few things that she makes for my stepdad that he just can't live without. there are these things that are essentially matzo meal and eggs mixed together and fried. passover pancakes, if you will. so, she decided that she NEEDED to make them. i stepped back and allowed her free reign in the kitchen. in the morning, when i came into my kitchen, guess what i found?? just guess...

well, i'll tell you. i found a frying pan sitting on my stove - with about an inch of oil in it. i found a paper towel sitting on my countertop with giant oil spots on it. i found her mixing bowl with the pancake mix caked on it. and i found her plate and my stepdad's plate sitting at my table.

now, granted, i have issues about messes in my kitchen. i can't stand them and spent the majority of my weekend cleaning up, washing dishes, throwing out other peoples' used dishes and cups and cutlery. but, i was MAD about this. mad. so, i didn't clean it up. i just left it all there.

then, she wanted to make eggs. one catch. only one frying pan. and i wasnt washing it for her. so...what did she do?? she took some bunched up paper towel, wiped out the frying pan and went to town on the eggs. (are you barfing yet?). and didn't bother to clean up the rest of the mess.

in the end, i couldn't stand the mess and cleaned up all her dishes.
but, i'm steaming about it. really, really angry.

#3. my mother and the kids. when she's around, all attempts that the husband and i make at disciplining our children are foiled. my mother makes comments under her breath, like "uch, just let her wear her princess costume to the table." or "it's not worth it. just give her a 40th marshmallow." bedtimes? these don't exist when bubbie's around. we tell her not to give them pop. so, she gives them pop. we tell her we don't want the kids grazing all day. so, she asks them if they are hungry, about 45 times a day. we takes whatever we say, and does the opposite.

"It's getting warm, Ali. should we take off Isabella's jacket?"
"You know what...she's probably fine. and she's happy right now. let's not disturb her."
and i turn my back...and drumroll please....she takes off Isabella's jacket.
why, i ask you, did she even ask me?
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Calm (ish) before the storm
Family members are arriving.
Last minute food needs to be cooked. matzo balls. roasted veggies.
Tables need to be set.
Formula needs to be bought.
Towels need to be picked up (certainly i don't have enough for all 10 of us that will be sleeping in my house!! it's actually 11, but i don't count Isabella) and beds need to be made.
Children need to be bathed. and dressed. and fed. and entertained.

and here i am.
at work.
until 3:15.

yikes. passover starts tonight.
my family usually takes the easy route. we all pack up. we don't clean a thing or cook a thing. instead we go to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, to a hotel, where they make it for us. they cook our meals and clean our rooms. it's fantastic.
but this year, my mother decided, without so much as asking me, that EVERYONE was coming to me. well, it's not the entire family...but it's enough to make this undertaking a huge-ass ordeal for me.
she? got to show up last night. after most of the cooking and running around and arranging and shopping and cleaning was all finished.

i'm actually surprisingly still calm. it's probably because i'm not at home amidst the chaos. the husband has already called 6 times and it's only 12:40. but, i really, truly feel that somehow, we've got this all under control.

we are having three meals at our house.
seder #1 - tonight we are 9 (not including kids)
seder #2 - tomorow night we are 9 (supposed to be 11, but our friends mike and sarah went and had a baby boy on us this morning...)
lunch on saturday - we are 11 plus 6 kids (well...only 4 that eat)

*thank god for my husband, who did the good bulk of the shopping. he took the kids every sunday for the last month and slowly stocked up on passover foods. i filled in the blanks with the utensils and serving platters and cutlery and perishables and all the other missing things.
*thank god for my nanny, who cleaned my house from top to bottom. i swear, it looks nicer than i've ever seen it.
*thank god for my children, who have been relatively well-behaved lately. last saturday afternoon, the two of them actually played together. because they wanted to. and didn't complain about it. and no one came out bleeding at the end.
*thank god for my mother, who funded this entire adventure. because, seriously, passover is fucking expensive. we're talking in the thousands, people.
*thank god for my mother in law, who not only bought me a cuisanart (7-cup, that i wanted to pay to upgrade, but the husband said no, but still i won't complain, it was the nicest gesture), she also agreed to make the seder plates for me, something i have ZERO experience with and didn't want to undertake.
*thank god for my sister, who is coming to save me from my mother. and to help me break in my brother's new girlfriend....he he. my baby brother has a girlfriend. he calls her "D", which is sweet in a better-get-a-bucket type of way. they've been together for about a year and my sister and i have yet to meet her. i fear for her a little bit, because when we met my older brother's now-wife for the first time, it was not pretty. but, i'm the lesser of the two evils, if i do say so myself. i promise to be nice, no matter how skanky she is (shoot...that was already mean...but, really, it's my BABY there anyone out there that my sister and i will think is good enough for him?)
the good:
~ Chris - he sang Innuendo. i'm not happy that Chris was wearing as much eye make-up as Kellie, but he rocked the song. It wasn't his best. but, dude is ALWAYS good. even Queen pimped him.
~ Elliott - Somebody to Love. i love me some Elliot. sure, he looks like a big ole' doof...but he takes chances with hard songs and he always delivers.
~Taylor - he sang Crazy Little Thing Called Love. He was having fun up there...embracing his inner spazz...i can't believe Simon asked him if he was drunk...should he be asking Paula that question??
~ Paris - she sang The Show Must Go On. Wow! that was awesome. that should pull her out of the bottom 3!

the meh:
~Kellie - she sang Bohemian Rhapsody. "on paper?" are we still buying the dumb act? she seemed slightly possessed while she was singing and i wasn't a huge fan of her dry-humping the stage. but, it wasn't terrible. better than Constantine...
~Katharine - she sang Who Wants to Live Forever. the good news is that she's no longer looking pregnant. the bad news is that she can't get out of 1983. and she probably wasn't even born in 1983.

the bad:
~Bucky - he sang Fat-Bottomed Girls. mediocre at best.
~Ace - he sang We Will Rock You. did anyone else find it horribly uncomfortable watching how much queen didn't like ace? why did they even play that clip? not great. i'm afraid that we'll be seeing the last of king ace and the beanie...actually, he deserves to go home for wearing leather pants. ew. men should never. ever.

what i learned from watching Randy. If he begins his comments with “So check it out”, he liked your performance. If he starts with “Yo yo” or “What’s goin’ down?” you’re in trouble.

bottom 3? Bucky Ace and Katharine.
Going home? Ace.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
You like red because you’re from Russia! AKA The Apprentice
episode #1
~seriously, is there nothing better than when a British man says "Wanker"?? but, Sean, please stop with the air punching and jumping around. that was just weird.
~Allie, Sean and Roxanne laughing in the car was hysterical. poor Michael. What a tool.
~Lenny meets the executives. oy, the pain. He 100% deserved the boot, but at least he went out leaving all of us in hysterics. Bill: "The presentation's not why you lost." Lenny: "Then why bring it up?"
~Lee certainly knows how to play Trump. he's got the trump cheat sheet and the words that the Donald likes to hear. I thought he went a little bit overboard with the loyalty thing, but, surprinsingly, Trump loved it.
~was anyone else slightly concerned about the king dude who just showed up outside of toys r us? he was seriously creepy.
episode #2
~Two pieces of cold leftover pizza with turkey and lettuce in the middle...for $8? I wouldn't pay 2 bucks for that, especially considering it's 7-11. Ew.
~Mandrea: "If it were up to me, I’d be project manager on every single task.” Yeah, thanks, we hadn't figured that out.
~Lee should have taken the deal at $2. but...did they even have 1000 sandwiches to sell?
~good news - now i know who Leslie is (maybe next week i'll find out who Tammy is...) bad news - she sucks and, like that, she's gone.
~"I thought you were going to say something else" did Trump really just say that? really?
~it was nice to have George back. yay.
Monday, April 10, 2006
in the passover spirit...
and because i have a little bit of a crush on Michael Rapaport (from his Beautiful Girls days...ah...)

watch this.
and vito joins the village people AKA Sopranos
~“Ma, you came this close to making your goal.” ha. i guess Ginny didn't quite lose those pesky 8 pounds. kidding aside, i love Johnny Sac's family. love them. even the anorexic one.
~“Allegra? Isn’t that a cold medicine?” my goodness, he's an idiot, but he makes me laugh.
~what's the deal with Chrissy and the taliban, anyway? think he's being set up by the feds? or just being set up to do something idiotic again?
~hey! paulie blacked out the "mom" on his tattoo!
~loved the scene at the table with Tony and Johnny. "What? What did he say??" "What?" "Stay out of trouble!"
~any ideas on Vito? offing the two guys before they have a chance to talk? offing himself? turning himself over to the feds? anyone?
~best line of the night: Carmela: "didn't we just go to Allegra's christening?" Tony: "yeah, a 50 pound bundle of joy."
~How about AJ's date saying she won't eat the fish because of the "toxins," right before she sucks on her cigarette? Heh.
~Yes, Tony, Blockbuster is the "first stop on the shitbird express!"
the one where she talks about her body...
I used to be built like a boy. no, seriously, i was. well, maybe not like a boy. more like a 12 year old girl. with slightly bigger breasts.

waist? what was that? i never had one of those! I was basically the same width from below my boobs until my thighs. because of this, buying pants in a girl's size 14 was the best. the length was right and the fit was right. i'm slightly embarrassed to tell people this. my secret to finding pants that fit my body was in the old navy girls department.

but now, however, things have changed.
all of a sudden, i have a waist. it's clearly defined. and it's smaller than my hips. and my thighs. and seriously, where did these hips come from?
all of my weight is suddenly congregating around my middle. according to these people, i'm a classic #2. which, i'm not saying is a bad thing, necessarily, it's just making buying pants a SERIOUS problem.

so, i went to try on some pants. i put on my normal size. let's call it x. so, the x's fit at two stores - gap and RW. the only problem was...they were slightly too large in the waist (waist...what is this thing? it's so strange) and while they fit in the bum and the hips and the thighs, i was getting this bubble effect.

it's hard to describe, really. but the pants fit in the waist. and then sort of bubbled out from the waist, i'm guessing, to cover the larger areas. and then, it tapered back in at mid-thigh level. what? who knew that they actually made pants like this? okay...clearly, this wasn't the right size for me. so i tried x+2 in the same style. no, ma'am. these were way too big. everywhere.

so, on to another style. and then another. and they all fit me the same way. because now i have this stinkin' small waist and these bigger hips. yikes.

so, the only solution i can think of are...really, really low waisted pants. that fall on the hips and completely ignore this waist-thing. but, because i'm short, these are either way too long, or the crotch area falls to my knees.

and speaking on long pants. i bought myself 3 pairs of pants at RW. i really liked them, but they were a good foot too long. so, off to the tailor i went to shorten the three pairs. and now? they are too short. at least i think. being only 5"2 - on a good day - i'm so used to dragging my pants (i's so very Britney Spears of me) on the ground as i walk. so, pants that fit properly are a new foreign concept to me. how long are pants supposed to be?

aha, you say. you need petite sized pants. where, pray tell, does a canadian girl get some of these??? because i'm lost. i can't find them. online. sure. that deliver to canada? nuh-uh. not gonna happen. help please.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Friday's Feast
Feast Eighty-Eight

Name a trait you share with your parents or your children.

i don't like to delegate responsibility. In most instances, i'd rather just do things myself because then they are done exactly the way i want them done. i get this from my mother. she's 100% EXACTLY the same way.

List 3 qualities of a good leader, in your opinion.
1. someone who accepts responsibility.
2. someone who listens to others' opinions.
3. someone who has got his or her shit together.

Who is your favorite television chef?
i like Alton Brown. and Bobby Flay.
not Rachael Ray. she bugs.

Main Course
Share a story about a gift you received from someone you love.
one of the best presents i ever got was for my birthday last year. we went to atlanta and had a 4D ultrasound done of isabella. it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

How do you react under pressure?
i pretend everything's fine, so most people think that i'm super cool and calm. but, really, i'm dying inside. i don't like to be stressed.
short celebrity round-up...

~~ i'm now officially in the NOT PREGNANT camp.

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i actually think - gasp - that she looks pretty good here. i mean, compared to how she's been looking lately. seems like working on One Tree Hill might not get you fame, but it most likely will get you married to Chad Michael Murray. here he is with his second Tree Hill wife-to-be, back-up cheerleader, Kenzie Dalton. i wonder what the tension's like on that set...

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~~this is seriously the WEIRDEST looking belly i've ever seen.
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~~Jude Law has pretty much been in hiding since the whole Sienna Miller/Nanny fiasco, so it's nice to see him out and about. my god, he's so hot.

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That's a Quality Problem AKA Survivor
~~Well, American idol had country night, and Survivor had a theme of its own - dumbass night:

dumbass #1 - oh, yes, front and center...that would be Terry. Why, oh why, didn't you simply give Austin the immunity idol IN SECRET, BEFORE TRIBAL COUNCIL? This would have sent Aras home. i don't think the idol will help him much anymore. maybe buy him an extra week if he doesn't win individual immunity.

dumbass #2 - Miss Danielle. Why, oh why, didn't you take Terry up on his offer? he was willing to GIVE you the immunity idol. that's huge (or yuge as the Donald would say)!! and Austin would NEVER vote her out now that they're exile island buddies.

dumbass #3 - that would be Austin. Why, oh why, do you blindly adore Terry, who just screwed you royally with his sheer ineptness at strategy?

dumbass #4 - Bruce. Wh, oh why, can't you see that your tribe doesn't like you. you've always been an outcast. face it.

dumbasses #5, #6, #7 - Shane and Courtney because they are annoying as anything. and Aras because he's a smug ass.

this season is becoming boring as hell.
now we'll have to wait...what...4 weeks to even see something interesting. next 3 weeks. sally, bruce, terry....then we'll get some drama. this is so annoying. i can't believe that their alliance of six has stayed so loyal. what the hell?

my vote is for a sally or cerie win. heck, she should win the whole damn thing for having to look at Shane's chafing bits. ew.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
2 big surprises!!
the first:
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the bottom 3.
i ask you. what the fuck is wrong with America.
why is Bucky still in this game (i did get a little snicker when he was singing along to Mandisa's sing out...any MAN of mine...and then stopped...)??

the second:
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phil. dances.
and i forget all about my disappointment in seeing the nerds go home.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
"I love you Ryan!" AKA American Idol's country week. not my favorite, obviously. but, i don't hate country music. i mean, my family is southern, y'all. down-home southern.

the good:
~Elliott - he sang If Tomorrow Never Comes by Garth Brooks. is there anything this dude can't sing? and is it just me, or is he starting to look a lot more easy on the eyes?
~ Paris - she sang How do I Live without You by Trisha Yearwood. i thought she was great. it still blows me away that this little girl with the total baby voice has a giant set of pipes on her. i still don't expect that sound to come out of her. she's quite the powerhouse.
~Kellie - she sang Fancy by Reba McIntyre. she was awesome. no surprise there. she was in her element.
~Chris - he sang I'm Gonna Love You by Keith Urban. wow. he takes the judges advice and shows them he's more than just a rocker/screamer. he can freakin' sing too. i love him.

the meh:
~Taylor - he sang Take me Home Country Roads by John Denver. he didn't have a seizure on stage this week, which is always a plus, but i found it a little boring.
~Mandisa - she sang Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain. girl just isn't cut out for country.
~Katharine - she sang Bringing Out The Elvis in Me by Faith Hill. just meh.

the bad:
~Ace - he sang I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban. and boy do i ever. want to cry. Ace was all over the place with that song. and he's singing way too much out of his nose. i can't handle the falsetto.
~Bucky - he sang The Best I Ever Had by Vertical Horizon. i'm sorry. i disagree with everyone on this. he should have knocked this one out of the park. and he didn't. and he can't pull off the smoldering sexy look he tried to do at the end there. ew. send Bucky home, please.
lord of cheese-town
it's good news all around today.

my stepdad won his election. he's now the mayor. you hear that! i'm the mayor's daughter. i just went up a notch in cool-ness. and i can speed all i want in Milwaukee now, which is always a big plus.

isabella woke up DRY this morning. at 8:20. i ran around the city yesterday - like a lunatic - searching for overnights...apparently, they don't sell them in Toronto. so, i opted for size 4 huggies supreme. they were giant on her. but there were no leaks. yay.

last night i watched lords of dogtown. i wanted to see it. but i knew that the husband wouldn't. so i watched it solo. and it was good. i mean, yes, obviously the acting wasn't oscar-worthy, although Heath Ledger (he's my boy) pulled off a flawless drunken 70's Californian to perfection, but it was good. maybe it was because my brother was a total skateboarding FREAK in the 80's. maybe it was because the cast was full of not-too-familiar familiar faces - sadie from the OC, johnny knoxville, young william from Almost Famous.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
of cars and comforts...
most people who know me know that I hate to do anything outside of my comfort zone.
i hate travelling.
i hate calling strangers on the phone.
i hate complaining about bad service.
and most of all, i hate taking my car in for service.
my anxiety about car servicing is two-fold.
firstly, i hate the whole business of it. where do i park my car? what do i tell them? what papers do i need? because i know little to no information about why i'm actually there, i always feel stupid.
like...why did you bring my car in today? um...i dunno...probably because my husband forced me to. well, what's wrong with the car? um...i dunno...the airbag light is on. can i see your ownership? that the green piece of paper?

and secondly, more importantly, i hate leaving my car and having to depend on other people. i feel naked and insecure for some reason when i leave my car at the dealership. what if i need to go somewhere? i'm at work. out in the middle of nowhere. without any transportation. what if there's an emergency at home? i can't very well come home with no car.
also, waiting for someone else to get you somewhere on time is a pet peeve of mine. i like to be on time. and i hate hate hate to be late. especially for work. when i only started 2 weeks ago. ultimately, though, i put my faith in the driver that he's going to get me there. but, if course, he took the other lady first. and i got to work at 9:08. which, really, isn't all that bad. but, i was annoyed, nonetheless. annoyed and naked.
Monday, April 03, 2006
leakage protection...
we are in this little predicament with our baby.
she's a sleeper. in fact, she's a really good sleeper.
the best of our three kids.
the only problem is that she's waking up too early. usually around 6:15 - sometimes at early as 5, though.
why, do you ask?
it's quite simple.
she's peeing out of her diapers.
she's peeing out of her diaper, out of her sleeper, and onto her sheets.
and she's waking up because she's soaking wet.
not because she's hungry, or not sleepy anymore.
because she's freakin' freezing because she's covered in pee.

now, do you blame her?
of course not.
do i want to shoot myself?
of course i do.
it's not fun to have to wake up to strip the baby and strip the bed every.single.freaking. night.'s my question for you all. what to do???
i remember Devora and Howie (there's your shout out, guys, since i couldn't shout out when i lost to you in trivial pursuit...that would have been embarrassing) saying that they used to go into their daughter's room to change her before going to bed. that would NOT go over well in our house. she would 100% wake up and that would only mean trouble.

she wears a size 3 pampers cruiser. it fits her to a t.
not to tight. not too loose. perfect.
it's very rare that she'll soak through during the day.

so, i don't want to go up in size...for fear of leakage.
and i don't want to go down a size....for fear of leakage.

has anyone ever used huggies overnights?
i have never been a big fan of huggies in general..but these are getting rave reviews over at epinions. and they come in size 3 - 16-28 pounds. perfect size.

forget it. i think i answered my own question...i'm off to the store...
"That's why I'm the chief!" AKA Grey's Anatomy
~seriously, could i love Cristina any more?? between the George: "Apparently we think alike." Cristina: "Wow. Can't believe they're proud of that." and the "Great. Have you met your sister?" and the getting back to basics nude scene, she totally rocks my socks.

~move over McDreamy and McSteamy....make room for McVet. hot, i say. hot.

~I find Torres all kinds of creepy. George is her McDreamy? (ew). she lives in the hospital? (what?)

~oh, Mer? see...dealing with frustrations by drinking and sleeping with inappropriate men? bad. knitting and hammering plaster? good. you can be taught!

~liked the Mare Winningham guest spot. but, man, does she look old. she didn't age as well as her St. Elmo's castmates, did she?

~Denny talking sexy? gross. ew. stop. please.

good, good episode!
weekend was good.
but so busy.
~we watched "The Squid and the Whale." loved it. it really was fantastic. Laura Linney and Jeff Daniels gave oscar-worthy performances as separated parents trying to deal with their marriage falling apart. but, much like in Kramer vs. Kramer, it was the children - Jesse Eisenberg and Owen Kline (son of Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates) who stole the show. As a child of divorce, it was definitely interesting for me personally. also, Owen Kline bears a scary resemblance to the husband and how he looked as a kid. and since the movie took place in 1986, the timing is just about dead-on and Kline sported many an outfit that the husband actually wore in his youth.

~we were introduced to Hollywood Gelato. yum.

~we attended a 2-year-old's birthday party. her parents clearly went well overboard with this one. an indoor playground. a man dressed as barney. pizza and cake for the kids. bagels and lox and egg salad and tuna and cream cheese for the kids. gigantic loot bags for the kids. there was even one for Isabella (she's 7 months old...what on earth does she know from loot bags?). the kids had a good time. i had a tired time, since it was hard for the husband to do that he's un-ace-bandaged his wound. ew.

~we went to Gladstones for Mike's birthday. it was really, really nice. but the service? horrible. first of all, i never got my diet coke. second of all, i ordered two orders of spicy veggie sushi and i only got one. Sarah ordered the exotic wild mushrooms and they showed up potato-nest-less and they didn't mention anything to her. and they didn't have a good dessert on the menu. hmph. but, it was a nice night out. so i really shouldn't complain.

I'm a displaced American writer, mom, and wife living in Canada who muses about my life, my kids, my tv watching and my slight obsession with celebrities.
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Reading Lolita in Tehran * Azar Nafisi
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close * Jonathan Safran Foer
i bet you look good on the dance floor * arctic monkeys
the skin of my yellow country teeth * clap your hands say yeah
chasing cars * snow patrol
movie script ending * death cab for cutie
anthems for a 17-year-old girl * broken social scene
all these things that I've done * the killers
one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) * stars
a little less 16 candles a little more touch me * fall out boy
the great salt lake * band of horses
october, first account * be your own pet
mushaboom * feist
letter from an occupant * new pornographers

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