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Tuesday, January 31, 2006
my scanner is shit and so these scan don't look even a fraction as good as the actual pictures look. let me tell you, they are adorable.

but, here's a look at my princess:

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on the road to adulthood...
my relationship with coffee has always been an interesting one.

in middle school, Danyelle and i walked to audubon court from her house. it was the ultimate in trendy at the time...well, as trendy as you can get in milwaukee...and since we were trendy girls, we decided that we NEEDED to drink coffee, like our moms. so, we waltzed right in and ordered cappucinos. wow, we were the coolest. the only girls in the sixth grade who actually drank coffee. to me, it tasted like ass, and i didn't think i'd ever drink the stuff again. i couldn't understand how my mom drank it black, with no sugar, several times a day. something was clearly wrong with her taste buds.

in high school, in my sophomore year, it suddenly became cool to drive to dunkin donuts before class for coffee and donuts. so, since Naomi and I (while all of our friends were doing the second half of sophomore year in israel) were determined to become cool, i allowed the cool juniors to bring me coffee. with lots and lots of milk, and lots and lots of sugar. and i hated it it. ew. but, if it made me cool, it was worth it.

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by junior year, i had my own car, and they had opened up a new hangout, starbucks. Naomi and i decided to try something different, mocha frappucinos. these were amazing! we could drink coffee, and be totally cool chicks, but not have to drink the nasty nasty coffee. perfect! (we also loved going to starbucks because right next door, in the pet store, they had the most adorable little monkey, Tam Lin. so cute. okay....perhaps we weren't as cool as we'd thought...)

by senior year, i discovered i could not only tolerate, but i enjoyed, a coffee frappucino. less calories. less sweetness. delish.

by the time i went to israel for the year, i got my first taste of second cup. interesting how a canadian coffee company opened on Ben Yehuda street (or just beside it) and there was no starbucks in sight. geez, starbucks really missed the boat with all of us high school grad single girls with nothing better to do every night. they could have made a killing on us. since second cup didn't have fraps...only chillers (not the same, i tell you. not the same)....i discovered something new. the cafe mocha. hot. chocolately. heaven.

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when i got home from israel, and was trying to lose the weight i had gained (29 pounds, by the way, more than i gained being pregnant...but we aren't going to talk about that time in my life) I discovered the vanilla latte. less calories than the mocha, but still sweet.

which brings us to now. because i'm trying to eat low calories (since i can't use that pregnancy or nursing excuse any longer...maybe not ever anymore!!) and im trying not to spend a fortune, since we decided to keep our nanny while i'm looking for a job (thanks, Mom! you really saved the day, there), i've decided to give up the mixed coffee drinks and go straight for the straight stuff.

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my order nowadays: tall mild in a grande cup. two splendas. lots of skim milk. it's not exactly adult, since i still have to sweeten the stuff. but, i've come a long, long way, baby. from the mocha frap (which, seriously, can we really call it coffee??) to my tall mild.
it's a wonderful morning for Oscar...Oscar, Oscar....
as of about 10 minutes ago, the Oscar nominations are out. and i know, because i watched them on tv.

Brokeback Mountain was nominated for 8 awards...including best picture, best actor, best supporting actor, best supporting actress, best director, best adapted screenplay

Walk the Line, surprisingly, did not get a best picture nom, but both Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix were both nominted for best actress and best actor. also nominated for best actress are: Judi Dench, Charlize Theron, Keira Knightley, and Felicity Huffman. also nominated for best actor are: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Terrence Howard, and David Strathairn.

Crash, the little movie that could, edged in and snagged itself a best picture nomination. i'm so glad. it was an amazing movie. Munich, Good Night and Good Luck, and Copote round out the best picture category.

i'm thinking of having an Oscar party. anyone interested??
Monday, January 30, 2006
"Anyone want to have sex?" AKA Grey's Anatomy
~awesome, awesome episode. color me impressed this week. where do i even start? Holy Crap! Izzy has a daughter! totally did not see that coming.

~whoa! the anti-bailey. bring back my bailey, please! she's altogether too perky for my liking. "wanna hug it out"...bitch! (oh, i miss Entourage...)

~oh, that mcdreamy mclook. i would have been way weak in the knees for that! i'm glad they didn't kiss, though. not yet.

~best line? "She's a lesbian, but that's okay, right?" or maybe "Enjoy your syphilis Olivia"

~last night every single actor on the show impressed the hell out of me. meredith? she was perfect. derek, burke, cristina, george, izzy. they were all fantastic.
I'm it!
been tagged by Mandi.


Four jobs I’ve had in my life

* Editor/writer/profreader/copy editor/researcher/etc
* mommy to my kiddies
* camp counselor
* office manager at Ketubah Ketubah - - - my first REAL job.

Four movies I can watch over and over

* Dirty Dancing
* The Breakfast Club
* Back to the Future
* Almost Famous

Four places I have lived

* Milwaukee, Wisconsin
* Skokie, Illinois
* Jerusalem, Israel
* Toronto, Ontario

Four TV shows I love to watch (only 4?)

* Grey's Anatomy
* The Amazing Race
* 24
* The Sopranos

Four places I have been on vacation

* Aruba
* Greystone Inn, Lake Toxaway, NC
* Bahamas
* Barbados

Four of my favorite dishes
* sushi
* chicken fingers (i know, i've got VERY fancy taste!)
* cereal
* mmm...incredible grilled eggplant sandwich...

Four websites I visit daily

* ebay
* superficial
* (i'm a little embarrassed...)
* mediajobsearchcanada

Four places I would rather be right now

* anyplace warm
* atlanta
* anyplace warm
* Hawaii (i've always wanted to go there...)

Four bloggers I am tagging

* Tree
* Gerah
* Becca
* Beth
Sunday, January 29, 2006
We have a Weaner!
as of this morning, at 5 months and 2 weeks old, Isabella is officially weaned.
and i have to tell you, i don't feel the least bit guilty.
I will not be sorry to watch my porn size 34 DD's wilt down to a measley 32 B.
I will not be sorry to watch my scratches and scrapes disappear...never to return.
I will not be sorry to see my shirts covering my belly.
I will not be sorry to tell the husband that he can feed the bella first thing in the morning.

and, by the way, as of friday.....i am down to my prepregnancy weight. officially.
my skinny skinny skinniest pair of jeans fit me and don't make me look like a rhinocerous. I tried on every.single.article. of clothing in my closet. and they all fit. they all freakin' fit!

let's celebrate! anyone want some cake?
Friday, January 27, 2006
Friday's Feast
Feast Seventy-Eight

Choose one: Popcorn, Pizza, Pretzels, Peanuts, or Pasta.

Pizza. hands down. but i like popcorn too.

Describe your personality in terms of a particular vehicle.

jeep grand cherokee (and not just because i really, really miss mine...). pretty and sparkly, but with a little bit of a rough, edgy side. reliable. a classic.

If you won a shopping spree, from which store would you want it to be?

ooh. that's tough. one store? i might have to say Macy's or Bloomingdales because they have a little of, shoes, housewares....yeah...

Main Course
Which television show re-runs do you enjoy watching?

where do i start with this one? what tv re-runs don't i enjoy watching? i have to say i love everything that i used to watch as a kid - - - Growing Pains, Cheers, Family Ties, etc. but i also love me some Seinfeld reruns. Seinfeld is the best and can be watched and rewatched over and over again.

If you could look into the future, how far down the road would you like to see? 10 years? 100 years? A million?

maybe 20? 25? i'd love to see my kids 25 years from now and see what they've done with their lives.
Cohen is a pothead! yahoo! AKA the O.C.
~~"I got three honks." by god i love JCN

~~I'm glad they haven't turned this Seth smoking pot thing into a super lame after-school special. Encyclopedia Brown. loved it!

~~Marissa sucks. period. and she needs to work on her jealous face. it needs to be a little more anger, a little less constipation. but, honestly, she doesn't like johnny. she's just doesn't want anyone else to like him. she wants to help him and save him. i'm almost feeling bad for Kaitlin...i wouldn't want to have needy needy Marissa for a sister.

~~loved the Summer prada speech. and when she said "wanna see my angry face?" while talking about her boot camp instructor.

~~Ha! China has alopecia.

~~No Cooper family Sound of Music Singalong? boo!

~~BRing Taylor back next week please!
maybe it doesn't belong in our bedroom...
the husband, screaming:
"we need to!"

as he's sitting himself up, at 2:37 in the morning:
"don't touch me. don't touch me."

me, scared out of my mind:
"What the hell is the matter with you?"

him, looking at me:
"You and I need to have a conversation."


"I have to decide if i'm going to go or stay."

"What? What? What?"

"About Perfect Dark." it's all making sense.
my husband has been poisoned my his new xbox.
just when i thought my nights of interrupted sleep were over, he's having xbox nightmares. great.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Things Jack Bauer Won't Say
i've recently become a very, very big fan of 24.
i never watched a single episode for fear that i would get hooked to yet another show. i was right. i'm hooked. the good thing is with dvds, i can watch them when it's convenient for me. i can stay up all night and watch 6 episodes if i want to (i can barely make it through one without falling asleep every night...but just knowing i have the option is nice)

i came across this website today, and for whatever reason, can not stop laughing at this:
Things Jack Bauer Won't Say

1. "Everybody Calm Down...I brought enough Snackwells for all of us."

2. "If you put a gun to my head, I'd have to say Cloris Leechman was my favorite actor in Spanglish"

3. "More mayonnaise!"

4. "Who read my journal? Seriously, that's private."

5. (Aftering Injurying Himself) "Samson's cat...that smarts!"

6. "I can't believe Edgar has more MySpace buddies than me."

7. "I'm so bummed, I forgot to TIVO Skating with the Stars last night."

8. "Anyone see my troll pen?"

9. "Happy Birthday, I knitted this for you"

10. "Who's Djing at Liquid tonight?"

11. "My first puppy was named Snuggles and my 2nd puppy is name Sparkles"

12. "I want to be in charge of Secret Santa this year"

13. "Guys I just took this Internet quiz that says the OC character I'm most similiar too is Caleb, Ugh"

14. "These Ugg Boots aren't as comfortable as my last pair"

15. "I put some of my famous risotto in fridge, help yourself"

And finally

16. "Mr. President, can we just hug?"

it's actually not even all that funny, but i swear, i'm peeing in my pants from laughing so hard.
The Great Big American Idol Post
i'll admit it, without any shame at all.
i love American Idol.
more specifically, i love American Idol auditions.

i love when they are great auditions, like Paris Bennet's.

i love when they are terrible auditions, like Brandon the sheriff's.

i love when they are montages of terrible auditions, like this one.

most of all, i love when they are so damn confusing, like poor Zachary Travis' audition.

my thoughts last night:
~~if Shawna White could fix those teeth, i'd like her. she's cute, in a beverly hillbilly kind of way.

~~Katharine McPhee is awesome. really, really good.

~~Jose "Sway" Penala? not a big fan.

~~ha! Matthew the Clay Aiken guy? "The judges made a mistake. They don't understand my similarities to Clay Aiken"

~~I liked "Happy Heidi From Hawaii." she was robbed.

~~best line of the night:
Simon: One of the worst voices ever, Kelly.
Paula: Her name's SHERRY.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Celeb Gossip Roundup
~~ In response to this, Drew Barrymore recovers nicely by poking fun of herself on SNL. go Drew!

~~ ha!

~~ Serena Williams looks more like a linebacker than a tennis player:
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~~ Holy Crap. Jared Leto is SUPERFAT! yeah, he's still hot.
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~~Baby Violet Affleck. maybe one of these days we'll actually get to see her face!
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~~Probably not the last time we'll see Matthew McConaghuey with balls in his mouth. oh my god. did i just write that??
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Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Today i went to the dentist. for a normal cleaning. unfortunately for me, there was nothing normal about my hygienist. she was rude, and mean, and hurt the hell out of me. she poked and prodded and poked some more. and she took over a freakin' hour for a cleaning. and after all that, her telling me i'm a bad brusher, and a bad flosser, my dentist came in and said my teeth and gums look great. what a bee-otch.

Today my bella is feeling much, much better. she still has a crusty nose. the husband takes a much different approach to the snot cleaning. he goes right in. and she screams like Emily. (ha). i, because i can't handle the screaming, am learning to live with the snotty nose and it gets thoroughly cleaned once a day, at bathtime, when she's in such a state of euphoria that she's oblivious to my hands pinching and grabbing at her face.

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Today was a first for me. i spent several hours at the mall and DIDN'T BUY A SINGLE THING. not even a coffee, dude. i have a disease. i feel better knowing that my friend Sharon suffers from it as well, but it's a disease nonetheless. it's called chronic buying syndrome. i. can't. stop. i'm a product whore. a clothing whore. a children's everything whore. toys. clothes. shoes. bottles. pacifiers. diapers. wipes. i can't control myself. i see a sale and i'm on it like white on rice.
okay..i found a new addiction (as if i was in need of a new one...)
the tv show, Popular.

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i'm in love with it.

i highly, highly recommend this show. sure, it's over the top. but it's hysterical. i almost peed in my pants when two characters named their fake baby (for a class project) Hilary Swank, because they don't know if it's a boy or a girl.

and when a teacher writes a play called "That Burning Sensation: A Cautionary Tale" and all the students are all forced to become various STDs.

and at this quote: "Eat me, Nicole." "Sorry hon, I'm on appetite suppressants."

a stroke of genius i tell you. stroke of genius.
Monday, January 23, 2006
the girls are sick.
i'm not sure which one infected the other.
but, when one's sick, so is the other.
mostly because emily can't keep her hands off of isabella.

so, they each got a turn in our bed.

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i can't stop cracking up at this. she was sleeping, with her hand down her pants. how very al bundy-ish of her.

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okay...and seriously? have you ever seen a sadder face???
can someone tell me what ORKUT is???

that is all.
tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies....AKA Grey's Anatomy
~~I am ALL about that hot dog eating contest. i think Meredith could have used the calories though...

~~I already miss me some Bailey. Come back soon!!!

~~Izzy, 1993 called. it wants its bangs back.

~~it was fairly obvious, a little too obvious, that the dog was going to the mcdreamys. especially when they had the "previously on Grey's" showing Derek saying that he liked dogs. but, i like it. i hope he pees in addison's bed.

~~this triangle needs to come to an end soon. at this point, i almost don't even care how it ends. it's starting to bore me. but yay, cristina, for calling out dr. mcjackass.
"That ol' Brokeback got us good"
went to see Brokeback Mountain last night.
while the girls were going to see the 'gay cowboy movie' the men did what any hot-blooded heterosexual men would do. they'd make ribs. and not just any ribs. the kind that look like they belong on the flintstones. and, naturally, didn't save the women any. nice.

Last night after the movie was over, i thought the movie was good, and i was glad that i'd seen it. but now, sitting here this morning, thinking about it, the movie was fantastic.

the basic story is nothing we haven't heard or seen before. two people have a short, spontaneous and hopeless sexual encounter and then separate, each marrying someone else and building a family. Yet their attraction to one another is irresistible, and they meet periodically over the years for brief, intense moments together. The twist in this telling of the tale, of course, is that the doomed lovers are both male. and not just male...but the manliest of American Male Archetypes, they are cowboys.

The story is of Ennis Del Mar, the quiet, ranch-hand and Jack Twist, the boisterous rodeo cowboy and both Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal play the parts well. Ledger is clearly the star of this film even though Ennis is as introverted and socially awkward a man as you'll ever meet. and even though at times i couldn't quite catch what he was saying.

my only beef was with the "aging" makeup. It just didn't work. Giving the men sideburns, and making the women's hair bigger (Anne Hathaway's) and greasier (Michelle's Williams'), didn't seem to age them. These are people who would have aged more than normal, what with the strains of their lives, their difficult marriages, and their children, but yet they are completely unconvincing as anything other than 20-somethings.

Ang Lee has brilliantly managed to capture more than lavish backdrops and romantic sentimentalities and arrives at the end of the film with a sad reflection on love fought for and lost. Some will find hope in the final scene of Brokeback Mountain for at least one of the characters, but the final shot leaves him exactly where he has spent the majority of his life—hopelessly stuck in the past, longing for a peace that has more than likely passed him by years and years ago.

yup, that got me good.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Friday's Feast
Feast Seventy-Seven

About how many times per day do you check your email?

many. many times. too many to count...

If you had the money to collect something really valuable, what would it be?

first edition books and movie posters

Write a sentence using the letters of your favorite beverage. (Example: The egret admires.)

don't interrupt emily's tiny cute outrageous kitschy entertainment.

Main Course
If you could be on a game show, which one would you want it to be?

that new howie mandel one...i can't remember the name. that looked fun. i'd say jeopardy, but i'm not smart enough. ooh...price is right...but only if i can play plinko.

Name 3 computer programs or web sites you would hate to be without.

photoshop, quark xpress, word
Thursday, January 19, 2006
gah, she's adorable!
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the lack of caffeine is getting to me..
or maybe it's because it's the first day with a new pair of contacts (remember that contact i lost while skiing...?)
or maybe i'm still exhausted from tremblant. lord knows my calves still hurt. does that mean i'm insanely out of shape? two days later...i'm still aching??
or maybe it's because i have to drive emily and adina to ballet in about an hour and a half and last week was a mess.
or maybe finding a job is mentally exhausting.

whatever the reason, my head feels like it's going to explode.
ouch., as far as Grey's Anatomy goes, it was good. not great. Cristina's unspoken sadness as she looked at Bailey's belly was heartbreaking. also, now my love for George? totally cemented. ooh...the elevator scene. swoon.'s a question for y'all, does everyone know about this Jamie Lee Curtis having testes thing?? as soon as the Bex storyline came on, everyone in the room started talking about Jamie Lee Curtis. what do you think? true? not true? there's only so many times you can hear it before you start to believe the richard gere gerbil story...
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
the globes...they were a' golden
~~i was so pleased to see Brokeback Mountain take home 4 awards, but anyone else wondering where jakey-poo gyllenhaal was?? rumor has it that he was in Los Angeles on Monday....

~~Joaquin? toupee much? damn, baby, what you do to that hair?? (ha...all you family members will appreciate the ghost reference!). i did think it was rather amusing that someone so dark won an award in the musical or comedy category...Reese and Ryan were cute as always.

~~worst looks of the night:
Drew Barrymore. her globes? too big to go braless. what on god's green earth was she thinking???

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Marcia Cross. coral? not a good color for anyone.
Ellen Pompeo. seriously?

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Geena Davis. like one gawdy christmas ornament.

~~best looks of the night:
Keira Knightley. she looked absolutely gorgeous.

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Kate Beckinsale. two words. stun. ning.

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Emmy Rossum. but she always looks good.
Eva Longoria. definitely the best housewife.

~~okay...and really, i like Gwyneth, and think she looked pretty good, albeit slightly pajama-esque, but she has GOT to lose that fake British accent. altough, i enjoyed her calling Anthony Hopkins, Antony.

~~love, love, loved Steve Carell's speech. he's adorable.

~~Anne Hathaway should never wear red lipstick. again.


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~~and p.s. i had to do a serious triple take. i thought that Alanis Morrissette WAS Sheryl Crow.
a crappy end
to a really good few days.

we left Mont Tremblant at about 4 pm, with a short stop in Montreal to drop off Adina and eat dinner. there was no reason that we shouldn't have gotten home before 11, or 11:30 latest. what happened, in the end, was that we walked in the door at 2:45 am, but i'm jumping ahead.

a couple hours in we hit the freezing rain that we had heard about. not too threatening...just meant that we needed to go a little slower and be a little more cautious. we also realized, at this point, that we had left the bag that had my dinner and the baby's formua in montreal. so, no dinner for me...or for the bella. great.

a little while later we noticed that on both sides of the road, all the trucks had pulled over to the side of the road. some had even turned their engines off. we were moving, slowly, but we were moving. until we came to a halt.

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it might be hard to see, but i took a picture of all the trucks at the side of the road. it was super eerie. we decided to turn our engine off...and i attempted to nurse the screaming baby...who wanted NO part of it. she eventually fell back asleep, thank goodness and we were on our way again..inching.

we had no idea what was going on...we didn't know if they'd closed the highway, if there was a huge accident somewhere, if the roads were just too slippery to drive. all we knew was that it was going to be a LONG night.

we inched past a huge truck stuck in the ditch, turned on its side...and got scared. we started wondering at what point we would pull off the road and find a motel somewhere. i, of course, didn't like either option. i just wanted to go home. and go to sleep.

finally, a few trucks began picking up speed and barrelling past us. we figured if the trucks were moving, we could move too...and that's just what we did. and made it home at 2:45. sheesh.

now...this morning, things didn't get any better. i raced to get the baby ready for her 10:00 pictures. got there at EXACTLY ten...and waited...and waited...and waited....there was no one there. i re-checked my slip of paper and confirmed that, yes, i was there at the right time, on the right day. so...we waited some more...and bella had an explosive i changed her right on their bench. at this point, i was so peeved that i really didn't care if it wasn't appropriate. we'd passed that point at 10:30. at 10:45 this guy showed up to tell me they were running a little bit, ya think??

so, i left my name and number and even so obnoxiously said, "i hope at the very least that i'll be getting a free photo session out of this. i've been waiting for almost an hour...and you can't really do that with kids." (it helped that isabella began screaming...something she so rarely does! yay bella!) and i walked out. and cut the hell out of my knee. it's bleeding now. and i'm so annoyed. and so freakin' tired.

good times, i tell you.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
just call me 'one-eyed Willie'
so...we are in mont tremblant. the husband's whole family. well, minus debbie. poor debbie.
im having a great time actually. much better than i expected. because im not a great traveler. because i had to bring the bella. because skiing scares me.

but, on sunday we drove to montreal and surprised my mother in law for her 60th birthday. she thought that it was just jack taking her 9( and she really wasn't pleased about it) but we put isabella in the doorway and knocked on the door. she was soooo shocked. it was so nice because these days it's so hard to actually surprise someone.

so...bella's been an angel. i got to watch grey's on sunday snark will come tomorrow. and i got to watch the golden globes last snark with come about that tomorrow, since my time in the internet cafe is almost up....i got to ski this morning. going up the lift, i didn't think i would survive...but i think i did awesome...if i do say so myself...eventhough it's freakin -16 degrees (yikes) and i lost a contact in the snow (now the one eyed willie reference makes sense....).

im now taking a break to rest my knees and have a coffee. i will be back tomorrow. as long as i dont kill meself skiing. wish me luck!!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Friday's Feast

Feast Seventy-Six
Appetizer: Name one chore you don't really mind doing.

i don't mind doing laundry. i hate putting it away, though.

Soup: How many times have you moved homes in your life?

let's see. we moved when i was 11. then i moved to an apartment in Toronto, and then to a condo when i got married and then we moved here in 2002.

Salad: How old were you when you had your very first kiss?

it was the summer before 7th grade. his name was benji. it was in my garage while my parents were at a wedding.

Main Course: What time of day do you usually feel your best?

usually in the morning, after my coffee.

Dessert: Using three words or less, describe your current local weather.


"I'm not going to sign your genitals." aka The OC
~~ "Marissa Cooper Graduates" made me smirk but somehow it's just never going to be as good as "Donna Martin Graduates!"and, as we know, Dylan McKay could kick Ryan Atwood's ass to the curb any day of the week and twice on sunday.

~~ Sandy needs a haircut. but, otherwise, he makes me happy. very, very happy.

~~Candlewax, tube socks, and the new Fiona Apple cd. my god, i'm in love with Taylor.

~~ Marissa continues to be an ungrateful, selfish bee-otch. anyone else getting sick of The Marissa Show?
Thursday, January 12, 2006
my little muffet
sittin' on her tuffet...

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my lordy, she's bald!
The Sale of Two Titties...
anyone want to buy them???

my daughter has decided that while she nursing she's going to play a little game. it's called, "let's see how much i can hurt mommy's boobs."

part one of this ever-so-enjoyable game: as she's latching on, she grabs my nipple with all ten of her fingers. yes. this feels great, let me tell you. like daggers.

part two: when she's finally on and nursing properly, after a game of latch on, latch off, laugh at mommy, latch on, latch off, laugh at mommy, etc., she digs her nails in my boob and then pulls. ouch.

part three: she bites down on my nipple and pulls, with her gums. now, i realize she doesn't have teeth yet, and god, are you listening, i'm so thankful for that, but it still hurts like a motherfucker.

i'm afraid, my friends, that Isabella's nursing days are numbered.
that playtex bottle is looking better and better to me....and i'm beginning to feel a whole hell of a lot less guilty about stopping...especially now that i fear the safety of breasts is is jeopardy.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Bring on the Brangelina babe!!
i'm sure there isn't a soul on the planet who hasn't heard this news.

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Rumors have been swirling for weeks.
pictures have been floating around the internet showing a certain big-lipped, mowhawk-toting mama covering up a protruding belly.

cover up #1: the jacket
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cover up #2: the child
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cover up #3: the gear
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i can only imagine that this might be one of the most beautiful babies in the world. or, it can be like some those children who you see who are ugly, ugly, ugly but have gorgeous parents. y'all know what i'm talking about. and sometimes there are stunning, stunning children born to mediocre looking parents. often makes you wonder....
"I read words like revenge, sweet, lasting revenge"
so, i just started reading "The Count of Monte Cristo."
I'm almost embarrassed to say that i've never read it.
when Adrienne told me that it was one of her favorite books, one that she could read over and over again, i considered reading it.
and then when i watched one of my all-time favorite movies (definitely in the top ten), Sleepers, and it was mentioned, i just knew it would be my next read.

so, now i've decided that in between reading each oprah and bestseller and chick-lit, i will read a classic, like Moby Dick and the Odyssey (one of the only books that i managed to not read and write several papers on in high school).

anyone have any classic recommendations?
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
where are you people, damnit???
okay...i realize i'm not ALL that popular....but there ARE people reading my blog...
....and only 16 lurkers???

it doesn't add up.
going to crawl under my little rock now.

delurk, damnit, delurk!
like sister, like sister
like her big sis, who sat before she was 5 months, Isabella is now sitting up!

today i had her sitting, facing Noah, for more than 10 minutes. and at one point, she was swaying to one side and actually corrected herself. what a cutie!

adorable. she was screeching her head off at him with a huge-ass smile on her face. she loves that kid. it must be the blue eyes :)
Signed, Sealed, Delivered.
well, it's over.
there's no use really even thinking about this interview unless they come back with an offer....but, of course, i will. since that's what i do.

description of the job. sounds perfect. developmental editor for the health and parenting department. well, basically i would be the health and parenting department. i would work with the authors to get their books from draft stage to be ready for the copy editing stage. by golly, this is perfect for me!!

ever heard of this book? this one? yup. you guessed it. published by john wiley.

i almost wish i didn't like the job at all. then it would be so easy. if they don't offer it? didn't want it anyway. if they do offer it? don't want it. no thanks. but now?

if they don't offer it? i'll probably be a little bummed. if they do offer it? then comes the tough decisions....but i'll cross that bridge when i come to it (see....folks...that's me....following through on one of my new year's resolutions! god me. not stressing about what might be. woohoo!)

so...the waiting game begins.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Because pictures like this...
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make me feel a whole hell of a lot better about myself!
It's that time again...
lucky for me i read both Beth's and Sheryl's blogs. they've reminded me that today is National De-Lurking Day. Actually, this year, they've made it an entire week, so YOU HAVE NO EXCUSES!! none.

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so, here it is.
it's your chance.
to let me know that you're out there.
go on. go for it.
you know you want to.
all the cool kids are doing it.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Mixed Nuts
well. i got a call on friday to come in for a job interview.
it's at John Wiley and Sons.
developmental editor.
sounds fancy.
i have such mixed emotions about it.

on the one hand, it's pretty exciting just to get called for an interview. it means someone, somewhere thinks i'm capable. or that i look good on paper, at least.
on the other hand, it would mean leaving my baby. and she's not even 5 months yet.

but on the one hand, going back to work would seriously help my family financially.
on the other hand, it would mean not being around as much anymore.

it's a tough call. probably somewhat premature, since no one is offering me anything yet. just an interview. but, i'm guessing that it doesn't hurt to go. i'm a bit rusty. it's been years since i've had an interview. and i'm nervous as hell.

but, hey, if i don't get it. i don't get it.
i'm not even 100% sure i want it. but i'm not 100% sure that i don't.

what i do know is that my mother, once again, unsurprisingly, has let me down.
i told her about the interview, and that i was feeling lots of pressure. pressure to get a job. to get rid of the nanny if i don't get a job.
here's a little rundown on our conversation last night:

Mom: Why are you stressing about things that aren't even issues yet? you'll deal with it when it happens. just get the job. you need it. then worry.
Me: It's not that simple, mom. If i get the job, i have to worry about carpool. how am i going to drive my carpools. if i don't get the job, i may have to get rid of Jhoanne. how am i going to drive my carpools then? i'll have to fit 5 kids in 4 carseats...
Mom: Life is tough, Ali. Just deal with it. when you are a woman and you have kids, that's life.
Me: I know. i realize this. it's just hard. so much of this is falling on my shoulders. i was just telling you. that's all.
Mom: you think i don't have stresses in my life?
Me: did i say that?
Mom: get the job, Ali.
Me: yeah, it's that simple.
Mom: you need to go back to work. it's time.
Me: see, that's why i love talking to you. i know i can always count on you for some sympathy. (said in my sarcastic voice....although i think it's lost on my mom)

it's impossible to win with her.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Ali and The Family Stone
so, yesterday i did something i NEVER do.
Sharon and i went to see a movie.
in the middle of the day.

we were expecting the theater to be completely empty...after all, it was 1:20 in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, but alas, it was packed. and since i have the habit of having the.worst.luck.ever, i was sitting next to a woman who took out a surgical mask in the middle of the movie and put it on her face. clearly, i'm going to catch something.


this morning, the boy called to me from the bathroom:

"Mommy! Where does Dorothy take a bath?" Dorothy is our fish. who we can't manage to kill. she's been with us fo over 3 years. that's a long time for a fish that we won at a carnival.
"In her fishbowl sweetie."
"Where's her soap?"
"She doesn't need any."
"Then how does she get clean?"
"She's a fish. she just doesn't need any soap."
"But why?"
"I don't know."
"So, she gets clean without soap?" you can see where this is going...
"I guess."
"Well, if she doesn't need soap, i don't need soap."
"Joshie, my dear, once you've grown some fins and scales, you no longer need soap in the bath."

that settled that. for now.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
anyone else out there with a bottomless pit of a 4 year old?
i don't understand why from the time she wakes up in the morning until the time she goes to bed at night all she wants to do is eat.

is this normal?

she had breakfast at 8.
then she had pretzels at 9.
it's now 10:30, and for the past 1/2 an hour she's been asking for treats. i've already explained to her that a 'treat' is not a reasonable request and that if she's hungry she can have a vegetable, a fruit, or a string cheese.
it's now 10:35 and she's asked for some cucumbers.

could she possibly be this hungry all the time? or is it just her default boredom request? my son, who's 3, never asks for food or treats in the middle of the day. in fact, sometimes we have to remnd him that it's mealtime.

so, what gives? what should i do?
if she would just ask me every 30 minutes and accept the no that i give her, i could deal with it.
if she would take the fruit or veggie option and eat that, i could deal with it.
but, instead, she usually goes into a full-on tantrum. for food. she's almost 5. i thought the tantrums would stop at some point. i swear, the boy and the baby just watch her like she's a horror movie. and then they look at me as if to say, "gosh mommy, what the heck is wrong with emily?" gosh, what the HECK is wrong with Emily?
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
my a nutshell...
look at a nutshell...

anyway, for those of you who haven't checked out my flickr photos from my can see them all here.

you can observe our flight with Batman.
my edible niece.
my kids making out like bandits.
our trip to the most amazing aquarium in the world. you could touch sharks, i tell you. touch them.
our trip to the Arthur museum (the boy was not afraid of the giant scary looking arthur, but he was terrified of the dog. funny, that.).
our new years eve attempt to get a decent shot of me.
in other news...
Britney continues to not wear a bra.

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i'm beginning to feel a little bad for her these days.
her nipples seem to be hanging at her belly button ('s like those old saggy women at the gym...)
and she's looking pretty crappy.
at least she's managed to remove those hideous extensions that she'd been sportin':

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someone crazier than i...
I've always liked Gwyneth Paltrow.
she's not just a pretty face, y'all. she's a pretty face that can actually act. She's even an oscar winner...and not in a Marisa Tomei sort of way.

I was willing to overlook the Apple fiasco...and it's even started to grow on me a little bit. but, it seems they are planning to name their soon-to-be son Capone. because it has character. um. yes. Capone.

and now, there are reports that Gwyneth and Chris think their house is haunted...and along with the help of a Rabbi from the London Kabbalah centre, will soon be performing an exorcism on the house.

it's madness i tell you. pure madness.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
it's a christmas miracle!!
i'm not sure how it was possible.
i didn't gain weight on my trip.
after a week of feasting on pasta and pumpkin pie and godiva chocolates and red velvet cake and oreos and cookie crisp and bagels and latkas.

perhaps this watching what you eat thing is overrated.
maybe eating to my heart's (and my stomach's) content is the way to go.
Those racy disney films
every time i'm in the states i love to watch "I love the 80's" on VH-1. it's something that we don't get up here in canada, and i adore 80's pop culture. this past week, i watched an episode of "I love the 90's" which, unsurprisingly, was satisfying as well.

The episode was 1996, and the topic was The Little Mermaid.
during the wedding scene the minister had a giant erection.
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it might be hard to see, but it's there. oh, it's there.

it got me thinking....are there any other naughty references in disney films???
after doing some research, it seems there is some:

apparently, in Aladdin, there is a scene where Aladdin is standing on princess Jasmine's balcony and shooing away her pet tiger. If the volume is turned up loud enough you can hear Aladdin say, "Take off your clothes." Disney denies knowledge of the voice and does not know how it got into the movie.

In the Disney movie The Rescuers Down Under, one of the early scenes has the mouse detectives Bernard and Miss Bianca flying on their tour guides Wilbur's back through city buildings. In one of the windows they pass by there is an image of a naked woman.

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The letters S-E-X are formed by a swirling cloud of dust in The Lion King. it's hard to see, and you may have to turn your head to the left, but it's there.

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well...they claim that it's the minister's knee poking out, and that Aladdin doesn't tell anyone to take off any clothing, and that the s-e-x is actually s-f-x, put in there by the animation department.. they claim...

but, disney takes full credit for the rescuers one... the two "topless woman" frames have reputedly been present in the film ever since its original 1977 theatrical release (a fact apparently confirmed by Disney, whose spokesperson said that the tampering "was done more than 20 years ago"), although Disney claims that they were not included in the 1992 home video version because "it was made from a different print." Disney also claimed that the images were not placed in the film by any of their animators, but were inserted during the post-production process. The company decided to recall 3.4 million copies of the video "to keep our promise to families that we can trust and rely on the Disney brand to provide the finest in family entertainment."

hmm....i still don't think that's a knee.
Monday, January 02, 2006
we should have taken the pre-flight terrential rainstorm as a sign. an omen of the dark gloom to come. instead, all it did was make the husband have to pee.

we got on the plane. so far, so good. flight was on time. kids were behaving.
we got a kick out of the man who was upset that they didn't honor his upgrade even though it was an all economy flight.
we got a giggle out of the two chinese boys who were flying for the first time. and even got a chuckle when one of them asked for a dvd player.

then things started to turn ugly.

"we are sorry for the delay folks. the plane is too heavy."
what. the. fuck.
20 minutes later.
"we are still trying to figure out what to do. we let too much luggage on board."
i'll ask again. what. the. fuck.
20 minutes later.
"okay, we've figured it out. we took some random baggage off the plane. we have no idea whose stuff it is. but now the plane is light enough to fly and we will send the random bags on the next flight to toronto. in the morning."
i looked at the husband. he looked at me.
we just knew.

about 10 minutes before we landed they called the 7 people who had bags taken off the plane.
drumroll please.
martell, naturally.
but, they didn't know which bags or how many.
so, we would have to midnight...with our 3 kids...until all the bags came off to see which ones didn't get here. then we'd have to fill out a report.
christ almighty.
what a way to end a really, really good vacation.

so, we were missing 2 things in the end. the box with the husband's smoker in it. don't ask. and...get this...they are so very smart at air canada....our car seat. our freakin' carseat. who was thinking..."oh yes, we need to take something off. let's take off this person's carseat, that weighs exactly nothing and this way, they'll have no way to get home from the airport. on new years day at mighnight. yes, that makes perfect sense!" genius, i tell you.

they will be getting an awfully nice letter from us, i can assure you.
oh, and we still don't have our two bags yet.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
this year i will....
1. lose the rest of my baby weight. not eat any more cookies. they are my biggest weakness.

2. be nicer to my husband. he deserves it.

3. try to be more patient with the kids. and spend more quality time with the boy. i spend lots of alone time with the baby and with the girl...but i never do things just mommy and joshie.

4. try not to stress so much. try not to think "what if" as much as i do. which is a lot.

5. use the gym. on a regular basis.

6. go back to my book that i shelved when i went back to work.

7. try to be good about calling my friends. i'm so bad. i'm actually a little embarrassed about it.

8. get rid of the clutter and get completely organized.

9. read more. watch less tv.

10. work on all of my craft projects. not give up one for another.
Happy New Year
resolution #1:

i will not ever attempt to put my contacts in after having eaten a cheddar and jalapeno bagel.


I'm a displaced American writer, mom, and wife living in Canada who muses about my life, my kids, my tv watching and my slight obsession with celebrities.
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(Random Site)
Reading Lolita in Tehran * Azar Nafisi
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close * Jonathan Safran Foer
i bet you look good on the dance floor * arctic monkeys
the skin of my yellow country teeth * clap your hands say yeah
chasing cars * snow patrol
movie script ending * death cab for cutie
anthems for a 17-year-old girl * broken social scene
all these things that I've done * the killers
one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) * stars
a little less 16 candles a little more touch me * fall out boy
the great salt lake * band of horses
october, first account * be your own pet
mushaboom * feist
letter from an occupant * new pornographers

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