1.At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2.Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4.Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5.Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6.In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7.Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8.Don't use any punctuation marks.
9.As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10.Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12.Sing along at the opera.
13.Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14.Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15.Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16.Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17.When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won! third time this week!!!!!"
18.When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19.Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
I'm a displaced American writer, mom, and wife living in Canada who muses about my life, my kids, my tv watching and my slight obsession with celebrities.
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(Random Site)
Reading Lolita in Tehran * Azar Nafisi
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close * Jonathan Safran Foer
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close * Jonathan Safran Foer
i bet you look good on the dance floor * arctic monkeys
the skin of my yellow country teeth * clap your hands say yeah
chasing cars * snow patrol
movie script ending * death cab for cutie
anthems for a 17-year-old girl * broken social scene
all these things that I've done * the killers
one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) * stars
a little less 16 candles a little more touch me * fall out boy
the great salt lake * band of horses
october, first account * be your own pet
mushaboom * feist
letter from an occupant * new pornographers
the skin of my yellow country teeth * clap your hands say yeah
chasing cars * snow patrol
movie script ending * death cab for cutie
anthems for a 17-year-old girl * broken social scene
all these things that I've done * the killers
one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) * stars
a little less 16 candles a little more touch me * fall out boy
the great salt lake * band of horses
october, first account * be your own pet
mushaboom * feist
letter from an occupant * new pornographers