Since I couldn't pick only one Mallrats quote...I've included 3 of my favorites.


"I have always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday when you asked me to do a striptease to the theme from Mighty Mouse, I said okay. When we were at that hotel on prom night and you asked me to sleep underneath the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even when we were at my Grandmother's funeral and you told most of my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let it slide, but if you think I'm gonna suffer anymore of your shit with a smile now that we've broken up, you're in for a big fucking disappointment."


"Look at you. You're the kind of guy that would beg for sex. I should know, we can smell our own."


"You're going to listen to me? To something I said? Jesus, man, haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass . . . or sticking my hand in it."