the funny thing is that Isabella is actually asleep.
and i'm not.
crap.

this sleep training thing is NOT working. she HATES her crib. last night i finished feeding her at 11:36 and then the fun began. not really for me all that much, since i was fast asleep before Isabella even left the nursing pillow, but for the husband, who had to be the one to get her to fall asleep in the crib.

when he woke me at 2:50 and said, "it's your shift," he said that it had taken her an hour to fall asleep...which meant that she slept all of 2 hours in her crib. 2 hours??!!! what the hell? in bed she goes for hours and hours. not just 2 hours. it's not enough for me.

well, needless to say i'm not handling this very well. i've got lots of my plate these days and i've gotten quite used to SLEEPING all night from 11:15 until 6:30 or 7 with a 10 minute break at 4 am-ish. i know, spoiled i am, but that's what i've gotten quite used to...and to have that taken away is VERY DIFFICULT.

so yes, since the husband is the only one around to "take my abuse" as he calls it, he, unfortunately, gets the shitty end of me. i feel badly about this. but, i'm not really all that conscious when i am woken up at this hour. i'm just not. most of the time in the morning i have no clue what i even said or did.

so, i fed her at 3, and she fell fast asleep. and i came up with an idea. we can work on shift one - since the night for me is broken into two parts...part one is from 11 or so at night until she wakes up for the middle of the night feed (used to be 4) and part 2 is from then until the morning. i think instead of going completely cold turkey we can work on making her sleep in her crib for shift one, and until she has mastered that, allow her to sleep in our bed for shift 2.

i think it's a great compromise. but, my husband is ignoring me right now and has gone to sleep in the glider in the baby's room (as a punishment to me, but he's the one who will wake up crabby and achy...well, i guess that's a punishment to me too....) which is why i can't sleep...

argh.