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Monday, June 05, 2006
Big Pimpin'
Anyone in the GTA looking to hire a nanny?
No. I’m not trying to get rid of mine.

The truth is, Jhoanne-y the nanny and I have been on great terms since I went back to work. I think my being home and in her face and the fact that I didn’t know whether or not I would have to let her go put a strain on our relationship. But, with me back at work, and her back at work, things have been pretty great.
Well, minus a few small setbacks….

there is the fact that I’m pretty sure she’s bulimic. Yeah. Pretty sure. you can’t live with someone and NOT know these things. I feel bad for her, that’s the truth. But I’m no longer jealous of her body.

There's the fact that she doesn’t read expiration dates. Usually, I’m good at making sure there’s NOTHING past its prime in the fridge. I won’t touch milk even if it’s like 3 days before the date on the carton, so I would never let my kids drink it. on Thursday I came home and was surprised to see that jhoanne had bought a new carton of milk, since we were out. When I went to look at it, however, I noticed that it wasn’t new. Almost empty, in fact. “Jho, where did you get that milk?” “oh, in the back of the fridge.” Date. April 27th. Holy shit. “jho, did the kids drink it?” “Oh, Emily wouldn’t. but I put chocolate sauce in Joshie’s and he drank the whole thing.” Holy shit. I’m really the worst mother in the world. Thank god he didn’t get sick. April 27th. That’s more than a month.

There’s the fact that she can’t do laundry to save her life. She washed dry clean only things. She doesn’t treat stains and they get set in. she doesn’t iron anything that needs ironing. She shrinks things to baby-sized.

There’s the fact that she doesn’t tell me when we are low on things. Detergents, cleaning supplies…these aren’t the biggest deal. But over the weekend, she failed to let me know we were out of diapers. So, on Sunday morning, we showed up to a birthday party with Isabella in a pull up. it was either a pull up or a little swimmer. We chose the pull up. we tried to stop at shoppers drug mart to buy some diapers, but the party started at 9:30. yes. In the morning. And none of them were open until 10. yes, I’ll say it again. I really am the worst mother in the world.

Anyway, the point is that my nanny is going into business.
The nanny business, actually.
She has got herself a business card and has set herself up with a partner and everything. She's going to bring them over from Hong Kong.
I’m actually happy for her and impressed that she wants to do something like this. she says that she knows what the nannies are looking for and what the employers are looking for. since she's been there. and all her friends have been there. and she's right. she knows more than most agents would.
so, i'm going to try to help her however i can.
and i guess, worst comes to worse, if her business goes really well and she leaves me, she can hook me up with a good nanny (hopefully one without an eating disorder). because now i've got connections...

I'm a displaced American writer, mom, and wife living in Canada who muses about my life, my kids, my tv watching and my slight obsession with celebrities.
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Reading Lolita in Tehran * Azar Nafisi
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close * Jonathan Safran Foer
i bet you look good on the dance floor * arctic monkeys
the skin of my yellow country teeth * clap your hands say yeah
chasing cars * snow patrol
movie script ending * death cab for cutie
anthems for a 17-year-old girl * broken social scene
all these things that I've done * the killers
one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) * stars
a little less 16 candles a little more touch me * fall out boy
the great salt lake * band of horses
october, first account * be your own pet
mushaboom * feist
letter from an occupant * new pornographers

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