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Thursday, January 13, 2005
I Loathe the Morning...
Okay, the first problem is that my children have somehow forgotten what sleep is. Emily was in our room before 5 i think it was...i was far too unconscious to check the clock accurately. she was asking for breakfast...for name it. we actually put our feet down and said no. a little while later, after Emily had fallen asleep on my left side (and with my husband asleep on my right side...i was left clausterphobic in my own bed....grrrr...), joshie awoke at 6:15 screaming for Mommy. Gav turned down the monitor because it was absolutely killing me, but he refused to take him out of bed until 6:30 (when he got up to shower).

joshie was put in my bed, and off Gav went to shower. "milky. milky. i want milky." Yes, Joshie. "Dora. Dora. Boots-Dora. Dora." yes, Joshie.

when my husband left just before 7, that's when all hell broke loose at the Martells. Joshie climbed on top of Emily, who was desperately trying to snuggle with me. See, the second morning problem is that there is only one of me, and two children who don't like to share. it's really the only time to day that either of them have ANY interest in me, and they both refuse to budge. so, physical fighting ensues.

"i want cereal." yes, Emily. "I want cereal." Yes, Joshie.
my only way to take a shoer at 7:15 is to give them cereal in my bed. which i hate to do. crumbs everywhere. but, otherwise, a shower would be impossible.

mind you, i'm still not able to take a shower like a normal human being. emily always comes in hysterically crying because joshie dumped over her cereal. onto. my. bed. great. and then come the whines: "Joshie hit me. Joshie hurt my leg. Joshie scratched me."
"Okay, Emily, i'll be out in a minute. just give me a minute to myself so i can go to work not smelling like a barnyard...." i don't ask for much...

so, i get out of the shower. then comes the getting dressed most favorite fight of all. "no mommy, i don't want to wear this." "I'm the Mommy, Emily, this is what you are wearing." so i physically hold her down to get her dressed. Every once in a while i hit it right and pick out an outfit she's pleased with. i love those days.

finally, it's 8. time to hand the kids over to jhoanne for 30 minutes of peace to get ready for work. yeah, right. i take them downstairs, then race upstairs to the blow dryer. i'm not up there 2 minutes when i start to hear the pounding. Emily's come up - obviously something tragic has happened....

where's my nanny? doesn't she understand that spending 10 minutes at my door dealing with Emily is not part of the deal? she need to keep her downstairs!

so, i race through the blowdrying and make-up process. get downstairs and RACE out the door, because, naturally, we are late.

I'm a displaced American writer, mom, and wife living in Canada who muses about my life, my kids, my tv watching and my slight obsession with celebrities.
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Reading Lolita in Tehran * Azar Nafisi
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close * Jonathan Safran Foer
i bet you look good on the dance floor * arctic monkeys
the skin of my yellow country teeth * clap your hands say yeah
chasing cars * snow patrol
movie script ending * death cab for cutie
anthems for a 17-year-old girl * broken social scene
all these things that I've done * the killers
one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) * stars
a little less 16 candles a little more touch me * fall out boy
the great salt lake * band of horses
october, first account * be your own pet
mushaboom * feist
letter from an occupant * new pornographers

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