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Monday, April 10, 2006
the one where she talks about her body...
I used to be built like a boy. no, seriously, i was. well, maybe not like a boy. more like a 12 year old girl. with slightly bigger breasts.

waist? what was that? i never had one of those! I was basically the same width from below my boobs until my thighs. because of this, buying pants in a girl's size 14 was the best. the length was right and the fit was right. i'm slightly embarrassed to tell people this. my secret to finding pants that fit my body was in the old navy girls department.

but now, however, things have changed.
all of a sudden, i have a waist. it's clearly defined. and it's smaller than my hips. and my thighs. and seriously, where did these hips come from?
all of my weight is suddenly congregating around my middle. according to these people, i'm a classic #2. which, i'm not saying is a bad thing, necessarily, it's just making buying pants a SERIOUS problem.

so, i went to try on some pants. i put on my normal size. let's call it x. so, the x's fit at two stores - gap and RW. the only problem was...they were slightly too large in the waist (waist...what is this thing? it's so strange) and while they fit in the bum and the hips and the thighs, i was getting this bubble effect.

it's hard to describe, really. but the pants fit in the waist. and then sort of bubbled out from the waist, i'm guessing, to cover the larger areas. and then, it tapered back in at mid-thigh level. what? who knew that they actually made pants like this? okay...clearly, this wasn't the right size for me. so i tried x+2 in the same style. no, ma'am. these were way too big. everywhere.

so, on to another style. and then another. and they all fit me the same way. because now i have this stinkin' small waist and these bigger hips. yikes.

so, the only solution i can think of are...really, really low waisted pants. that fall on the hips and completely ignore this waist-thing. but, because i'm short, these are either way too long, or the crotch area falls to my knees.

and speaking on long pants. i bought myself 3 pairs of pants at RW. i really liked them, but they were a good foot too long. so, off to the tailor i went to shorten the three pairs. and now? they are too short. at least i think. being only 5"2 - on a good day - i'm so used to dragging my pants (i's so very Britney Spears of me) on the ground as i walk. so, pants that fit properly are a new foreign concept to me. how long are pants supposed to be?

aha, you say. you need petite sized pants. where, pray tell, does a canadian girl get some of these??? because i'm lost. i can't find them. online. sure. that deliver to canada? nuh-uh. not gonna happen. help please.

I'm a displaced American writer, mom, and wife living in Canada who muses about my life, my kids, my tv watching and my slight obsession with celebrities.
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letter from an occupant * new pornographers

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