are y'all still in shock over my serious friday post? no worries, folks, it was but a momentary lapse and i will head straight back into the important things, like poop and my lard ass and celebrities.

i'm off today, for Simcoe Day (what the fuck is Simcoe day, you ask? who the heck knows, or cares, for that matter, since it's a day off of work, and that's all that Canadians really care about...), and we in the Martell household are gonna party like it's 1999. seriously. we are having the first of Isabella's countless birthday celebrations (brace yourself, people, the porker is almost 1!). this one is for family only, and the Opps, since they are pretty much.

my parents are here. i can't remember if i discussed my anxiety about it. but, so far, despite the 4 pounds i've gained in the last 3 days, and the fact that the husband and i are NOT on speaking terms, this has been the best trip with my mother yet. yes, i realize that i'm jumping the gun and they are here until thursday and it's only monday...but this is big people. it's been three days and we are not at each others' throats. big. big like Star Jones pre-surgery big.