I absolutely can't wait until November 16th. The 6th season of The Amazing Race is going to be great!!

I mean, honestly, how can it not? There's the Jewish friends, the Mormon sisters, the pro wrestlers, the ex-CIA agent and his daughter, the token senior couple, and some models/actors/waiters(aka unemployed people).

After reading the bios, i'm most interested in learning about Lena and Kristy, the Mormon sisters from Utah. I ask you, though, how Mormom can you be when one of you is 26 and is a single mom to an 8-year-old, and the other is a former striptease aerobics teacher?? I know a few people, males in particular, who may be jumping on the Mormom bandwagon...

And what's with Adam's hair? i just don't get it.

take one.

The first is unintentionally hilarious:

I was at Starbucks yesterday behind this old woman (i would guess in her 80's). she looks at me and smiles. I smile back. Then she looks at me again. and smiles. then she looks at the cashier, then back at me, then back at the cashier. Finally, she turns to me, motions to the cashier, and says, "she's fat" to me and then walks away. i was dying of laughter. giggling, even.

The second will be unintentionally hilarious to others, but to me, it's somewhat of a mystery:

In order to drop your child off at school, all mothers are required to wear skirts. That's a school rule. a ridiculously insane rule, but a rule nonetheless. But, i drive straight to work after i drive carpool, and i can't wear a skirt to work every single day. it's just not going to happen. so, i pulled out my gray cotton stretchy skirt and put it on over my pants. I looked really awful, but hey, it was just to drop Emily off at school. so, as soon as i got to my car, i pulled off the skirt. But now, for some reason, i can't find the skirt. i know, it makes no sense. but i looked in my bag, in the car, everywhere. i don't know what happened to it - it vanished into thin air. hmmm...

So, it's 12:00 and I just got into the office for the day. for the past two nights, I have not gotten any sleep. Why, you may ask? Well, it's because for two nights in a row, Emily has woken up in absolute agony because her 'gina was hurting her (her word, not mine). She was screaming in pain, and i couldn't do anything for her.

after the first night, i thought i should take her to the pediatrician - she probably had a bladder infection or something. but yesterday morning she woke up and almost had no clue what i was talking about. She said, "i'm fine Mommy. My 'gina doesn't hurt me." So, i let it go.

but, sure enough, last night, she was up and screaming the entire night.
so, this morning i didn't give her any choices, i lugged her to the dr. but, of course, they couldn't see me until 10:15, which ultimately became 11, so here i am, at noon, just getting to the office.

so, she was better than i thought she'd be giving the urine sample. She did manage to pee all over my hand, but i figured that was going to happen. So, her urine was fine - nothing wrong there. He took a swab and sent it off to the lab for any other kind of bacteria or infection. he thinks she may have rubbed something raw and it's irritating.

but, it's rather curious. why is it only hurting her at night? bizarre.

oh, do i hate the doctor's office. i feel like it's a biohazardous place. emily kept touching toys and making me read her books. imagine what kinds of hands were on those books before. yeesh. ooh, and at one point, emily picked up a flute and almost blew it. i snatched that thing right from her hands just in the nick of time. how can you have a flute in a doctor's office? no wonder so many kids are sick!

Dr. Friedman did think that i needed to see a doctor. he said that i didn't sound good and he was not at all happy to hear that i have had this for 4 months now.

i opted for casual casual dress today - yummy gray sweater, jeans, and get this, running shoes! i figure if i'm only going to be in the office for 3 hours, it's not worth getting dressed up. i didn't even dry my hair, but it actually looks pretty decent - - - it's that new not curly/not straight hair that's all the rage. lucky me i get it from not blowing my hair dry.

so, i may be a little distraught over this...but at least i'm comfy.

Oh my god, the Red Sox win it"

okay, fine, that sounded better when Bob Uecker (and for the record, yes, that is how he spells his name...i checked) said it about the Indians in Major League, but i found it ever so fitting this morning.

Boston had waited 86 years for this. The Curse of the Bambino is no longer.

To quote Jim Caple, "Yes, the unthinkable came true. The sun rose in the west, hell froze over and the Red Sox won the World Series. Go ahead. Pinch yourself. You're not dreaming."

A little bit of history for you:

The Curse of the Bambino was a tongue-in-cheek explanation for the failure of the Boston Red Sox baseball team to win the World Series for 86 years after they sold Babe Ruth, to the New York Yankees. The flip side of Boston's "curse" was New York's success — after the sale, the once lackluster Yankees became one of the most successful franchises in North American professional sports.

Prior to Ruth leaving Boston, the Red Sox had won five World Series, with Ruth an important part (as a pitcher) of the 1915, 1916, and 1918 teams, whereas the Yankees hadn't been in the World Series. After the sale, the Yankees had won 26 World Series by the start of the 2004 season, while the Red Sox had been to the Series only four times and lost each time 3 games to 4.

The Yankees' success rate since the sale of Ruth is stunning: They have won 17 more World Series than the second-most-successful teams, the Oakland Athletics and St. Louis Cardinals (each tied with 9 championships). Ruth (by then more a slugger than pitcher) was an essential part of the 1923, 1927, 1928 and 1932 titles.

In 2004, the Red Sox met the Yankees in the American League Championship Series. After losing the first three, including a 19‑8 drubbing at Fenway, the Red Sox staged the greatest comeback in baseball playoff history, winning the next four games.

The Red Sox then met the St. Louis Cardinals, the team to whom they lost the 1946 World Series and 1967 World Series. In the 2004 World Series with a four game sweep to victory, the Red Sox successfully ended the eighty-six year title drought — and with it, the so-called "curse." The fourth and final game of the series took place in the somewhat fitting complete darkness of a total lunar eclipse. In an altogether appropriate end to the "Curse of the Bambino," the final out of the game was made on Cardinals shortstop Edgar Renteria - who wore Babe Ruth's old uniform number, 3.


On a lighter note, here are my most favorite quotes from Major League, the funniest baseball movie ever:

1. "I've never heard of half of these guys and the ones I do know are way past their prime."
"Most of these guys never had a prime."
"This guy here is dead."
"Cross him off then."


2. "That's all we got, one goddamn hit?"
"You can't say goddamn on the air."
"Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway."


3. "Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor."

interesting story that my friend Orah sent me.

This is so not even funny.
How is it that a child can weigh 90 pounds in kindergarten?? That's Mary Kate's size!! I will not disclose any of my poundage, but i don't weigh that much more than 90 pounds.

250 pounds in middle school? How does that happen? How does a parent let that happen?

1,072 freakin' pounds. That's about 10 of me. It's like you just want to smack the poor guy in the face and tell him to just lay off the krispy kremes for a week and he could drop some weight.

I'm glad to hear that he's no longer bed-ridden and that he's walking up stairs and even swimming. I hope that he keeps the weight off and begins to live a more healthy lifestyle.

sad.

It's Brandon!
posing for Target. ah, excuse me, Tar-zhay.

Whatever her reasons were for playing hookey from NYU, Mary Kate is back at school.

This came from double viking @ the necrolounge.

Another hysterical episode last night.
thank goodness for tivo. I got to watch last night when i got home at midnight.

my most favorite part of the episode. Molly tells JD that he's too normal and she's attracted to damaged, dysfunctional people.

Jd: (Voice Over: Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.)My emotional journey began at five years old, when I walked in on my parents having sex in a position my father would later playfully describe as 'the jackhammer.' I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets. And no matter how much I try, I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.
(Voice Over: At that very moment, I feared I had divulged too much.)
Molly, I'm narcissistic, I'm pessimistic, I'm obsessive, I'm insecure; and I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships is a journey of self-sabotage that inevitably ends in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair."

ha! nice one!

I see your acid reflux is hitting your brain too.
What is this outfit? Last night you were supposed to be proving your worth, but instead, all you proved was your terrible fashion sense.

her. career. is. over.

Yes, that is me, breathing a sigh of relief.

So, the good news on the lumina/car accident front.

My father is law's deductible is $500 - not the $1,000 that we originally thought.

But, here's the kicker:
because he had such a good driving record, they gave him a "freebie" on the Lumina, meaning they allowed him one accident without a change in his premium.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, State Farm. Mwah!

This is brought to you courtesy of my friend Shana (who is probably one of the best moms I know...)

I was out walking with my then 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.

"Why?"

"Because it's been lying outside and it is dirty and probably has germs."

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

Uh, I was thinking quickly, "...all moms knows this stuff. Um, it's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you flunk, you have to be the Daddy."

I am a woman,
so, therefore, I love shoes.

I am also a short woman,
so, therefore, I love high heels.

I admit it. I love shoes. I can't get enough of them. Even the ones that smush my toes and give me blisters and make me bleed. I love those too.

Why do I love shoes? Why does any woman love shoes?

Shoes give women power. Shoes make women sexy and intimidating.

I saw this quote a while ago, I haven't been able to forget it:

Every woman wants to feel strong and still be sexy. A simple black dress paired with a red pair of strappy sandals? Instant sex goddess. Business suit paired with knee high black boots? Instant raise. Shoes makes everything better. A woman hurt or scorned can be appeased by shoes. If a woman feels fat or ugly – it rarely shows on her feet…..she can stare at her feet in a pair of black stilettos and feel empowered.

So, here I am, sitting at my desk, desperately trying to find a band-aid to alleviate some of the pain in my feet, but I can't help but smile. I am wearing the nicest shoes in the office today. and they look damn good.

We went to see "I Heart Huckabees."

I am a big fan of Three Kings. I thought it was a fantastic movie. My husband too. He loves it. "Hey. Goonybird." Ah. Love it. So, it didn't take much convincing on my part. He wanted to see it.

Everyone came out of the theater with the same sort of sense of wonder. "What the heck was that movie even about?" and "huh?" It was so bewildering that none of us were able to form a firm conclusion about whether or not we liked the film. (Except for my stepdad, who slept through the whole thing.)

I think in the end you have to not read to much into it, and just go with it. The plot is complex, the characters are all deranged, but if you take a step back and just enjoy the subtle comedy and wonderful nuttiness of each character - from Jason Schwartzman's unhinged Albert, to Jude Law's ever-tan and ever-smiling Brad Stand, and to Mark Wahlberg's firefighting Tommy Corn - you may just come out of the movie "heart-ing" huckabees.

Oh, Ashlee, Ashlee, Ashlee.
You were the luckiest girl in the world. Getting to be on Saturday Night Live with my Jude. You just can't get much better than that...

but, then, you go and do this.

and instead of taking the blame, you go and do this.

that's right, Ashlee. It was the band's fault.
loved the jig, though, babe.

and I found this rather amusing as well.
It's from Lucky magazine:

"What are your takes on lip-synching?"

"I'm totally against it and offended by it. I'm going out to let my real talent show, not to just stand there and dance around. Personally, I'd never lip-synch. It's just not me."

You let your talent show all right....

I was all for the fishnets.

Until i went to pick up my son, and he barely touched my leg and there's a huge snag right in them. So, with normal tights you can use a crochet hook and pull the snag to the other side and you'll never see it (that's a neat little trick i learned in high school) but with fishnets, you can't bring it to the other side, there is no hidden side.

so, there's $20 down the drain.
great.

Here's a photo I thought you men would enjoy...

I really think that she looks like a man, and doesn't have a very nice face. But, i understand the appeal that there's a tennis player who actually has a good body - not huge bulging muscle legs like the Williams sisters.

Q1: What's the most annoying part of your job?

probably when there's nothing to do. I have to sit around and try to look busy.

Q2: We've all done it... misplaced the remote control or lost a wallet or purse. What situation stands out in your mind as being one of the most difficult as a result of you having lost or misplaced something?

wallet. definitely wallet. I lost it when i was in israel for the year without any family members and i had to replace all of my documents from israel. what a pain in the arse.

Q3: What’s the best investment of time, money, resources, or emotions you’ve ever made?

my kids. hands down.

Q4: How much do your religious beliefs influence the way you vote in local and national elections?

I'm thinking that my religious beliefs affect everything I do to some extent.

the styles that are in right now:
ribbon belts.
tweed.
flower pins.
ponchos.
fishnets.
fringe.
pearls.
clunky jewelery.
uggs.


they are all the rage. It seems that we are moving from the edgy 80's styles (which didn't even look good in the 80's) to a more flirty 50's style. Shoes are going round toe - not pointy, pencil skirts are replacing mini skirts, and higher waists are replacing low riders.

but there are some trends i'm still not sold on. I'm wearing my new fishnets (nude) for the first time. it's an experiment. My sister said they are all the rage. So, i figured i'd try them out. I'm not 100% sold on them yet. so far so good, but no promises.

then there's the poncho. this is one i can not deal with. ponchos do not flatter anyone's figure in any sort of way. Except maybe someone who is postpartum and is trying to hide a post-baby tummy. To me they seem like a big ole rain tent. I don't think i'll be giving in to that trend.

seems this fall we will be seeing lots of animal prints and fur. hmm...not quite sure about those either.

and what's with the super short jackets. I can't handle those. The capelet. Those might be worse than the ponchos. blech.

and uggs. I say uggs are fuggly. i will never wear them. you heard that here first.

and brooches. those make me think of one word - grandmother.

go Boston!!

Okay, Keira, oh Keira, what were you thinking, honey? You were sooo beautiful (almost as beautiful as Natalie Portman). You had everything going for you - hot body, sexy accent, great hair....oy. what have you done?



and, i realize that this is probably just the picture, but it makes me happy to see Lindsay looking fat. :)

the Amazing Race starts on November 16th.

I'm really hoping that it doesn't pull a Survivor and totally jump the shark, because i totally love TAR. side note: my favorite winners....Rob and Brennan. loved them.

everyone in the office has been talking about this list today. It's the BBC's top 100 books. Is your favorite book on it? How many of these have you read....and enjoyed?

I, for one, am surprised that Lord of the Rings was number 1. I could barely get through it, and i think i only enjoyed the movie because of the cast. mmm...Orlando Bloom as Legolas...

Anyway, my favorite book is Franny and Zooey. I'm not 100% sure why - it is just one of those books that speaks to me. and To Kill a Mockingbird is my #2, and it's #6 on the list, so that's not too bad. and I'm a big fan of #21 - Gone With the Wind.

Well, it wouldn't be the same around here if we didn't have a good ole Olsen update. It seems that Miss Mary-Kate is leaving both NYU and NYC to seek greener pastures and less pressure in LA. Her spokesman insists that she did not drop out of school and she is on the west coast for "business reasons" Methinks that business reasons is another way to say, eating disorder relapse. but, only time will tell on that one.

There can't be too much trouble in the "newlyweds" Nick and Jessica's paradise...or at least in their sex lives. After their water was turned off they asked a neighbor if they could use their bathroom to freshen up...and they did, and took a shower together.

It seems Kirsten Dunst couldn't live without her boy toy, stay-at-homer Jake Gyllenhaal. US weekly has pictures of them out and about....and they were kissing!

As if Michael Jackson didn't have enough problems....his sister LaToya is claiming that the King of Pop did not invent the moonwalk, his signature move and biggest claim to fame (except maybe his relationship with Macaulay Culkin or his famous dangling baby incident...). She claims that a dancer from the television show “Soul Train” taught Michael how to backslide, which Michael then changed to Moonwalk.

"I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?"
"By choice, man."

Curt Schilling said this three years ago when he spoke about the New York Yankees. He said that pinstripes and tradition are not enough to intimidate teams into losing. And the red sox proved just that last night with a suprise 4-2 win to force a game 7 in this series. I'm still in shock. I never thought this was possible.

I think what even more shocking than the actual win, however, were the two controversial calls during the game that both ruled in favor of the sox (I would have thought the opposite would happen). I missed the first one, but apparantly, Bellhorn hit a home run and it bounced off a fan and landed in the field, and was originally ruled a ground rule double, before it was correctly changed to a three-run homer that made the score 4-0. The other five umpires all said it was a homer.

Then in the 8th inning, Alex Rodriguez hit a ball between the mound and first. As the pitcher ran towards first base, A-Rod slapped his hand and forced him to drop the ball.

As Boston first baseman Kevin Millar so eloquently put it, "That's against the rules. If you want to play football, strap on some pads and go play for the Green Bay Packers."

The umps came out and huddled on the field, discussed the play, and then called Rodriguez out for interference and sent Jeter back to first.

Man, what a night. I have zero tolerance for baseball during the regular season, but I can appreciate it during the psot-season, and now I'm appreciating it more than ever. Baseball is actually exciting these days!

"I'm invested in this relationship."
"Invested? Who are you, Charles Schwab?"

anyone? anyone?

Well, my stepdad is in for the week. He came in for some conference downtown, and is staying with us until Sunday. The kids are absolutely overjoyed. Emily even let him put her to bed last night - - - and it was successful. I'm still in shock over that one.

I enjoy my stepdad very much. He's a bit of an old man, though, so he likes to spend most of his time eating and relaxing on the couch. and talking about my mom. He loves to talk about her (it's actually really sweet, now that i think about it. I wonder if Gav talks that much about me when he's not with me??!!) He did read stories to the kids last night, and I couldn't help but smile.

Because Gav had squash last night, Jerry and I had an evening to do some father-daughter bonding. So, what did we do?the ony thing the two of us do together - watch sports. And it was really good last night - Boston/ New York baseball - it couldn't make me any happier that New York lost. I can't stand when New York teams win anything. And we watched Monday night football - which is always good in my books.

Well, we are going to go through insurance instead of paying for it. Financially, this is obviously the best situation for us.

And i'm currently driving a Mitsubishi Outlander, not a KIA, and I'm really enjoying it. it's a cute little car. I mean, obviously it makes no sense for us to get one, since i can only fit three carseats in it, but i'm loving it right now. it's one of those car/SUV hybrid type thingys.

We've decided not to fix the jeep until we hear back from the Dodge guy. I guess if he's willing to give my husband the price he wants, we are going to be getting a dodge grand caravan sxt. in midnight blue. i guess i'll finally get my midnight blue car. my jeep was supposed to be that color, but they discontinued it the year that i got my car.

I'm still accepting the fact that i'm getting a minivan...hoping my hubby will surprise me with a Honday Pilot...

actually, it's the entire leg, from the knee down.

I can't buy myself a decent pair of boots.

Any boots that have zippers are automatically a big no-no for me. They look like rain boots, or like I'm a toddler playing dress-up in my mother's boots.

And the boots that are meant to be tight-fitting, are not at all. They are tight for about 35 seconds and then gravity pulls them down and they congregate around my ankles.

They have full-calf boots now. Why can't they come up with skinny calf boots??

I knew inheriting my Grandmother's chicken legs was going to come back and haunt me!

I have nothing but awe for all you single parents out there. I don't know how you do it. I have been a "single" mother for the last few days, and I'm pooped.

I mean, I'll admit, there are many a night that my husband works late and doesn't come home until after the kids go to bed, so, in a sense, that's pretty much the same thing. I always tell him that if he's not going to come home before 7, he can stay out all night.

And, I'll admit this. There are certain activities and times of the day that go much more smoothly when my husband isn't around. i hate to admit that, but it's true. Things like dinners and bedtime. When there's two of us, it always seems to be a battle of some kind. When it was just me and the kids, dinners went smoothly, my son ate for the first time in weeks, and the kids went to bed easily. Okay, fine, Joshie always goes to bed easily, but Emily's usually impossible. When Gav was away, she was good.

But, it's certainly a lonely existance. Once the kids are in bed, what's there to do? cook, clean, get some work done. That's about it. There's no one to de-brief with, no one to share funny stories or crappy moments with. i did watch a girly girl movie last night - one that Gav would never watch with me - Mona Lisa Smile. I hadn't seen it, and I'm a big fan of Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles, and Maggie Gyllenhaal, so I figured last night was as good a night as any. What i should have done was gone to bed at 8:00 - because right now I'm falling on my face with exhaustion.

Saturday afternoon was the hardest day for me. I agreed to take both kids, by myself, to friends for lunch. big mistake. 12:30 is joshie's naptime - but we skipped it, so we could go. The two kids were so tired and were fighting and screaming and crying the entire meal. I didn't get to eat very much, and got lots of good exercise running Emily to and from her time-outs. I think the next time I'm alone with the kids i will stick close to home, and close to routine.

anyway, kudos to single parents. Whether you are doing it out of necessity, or out of choice, it's a tough thing to do. and i give you tons of credit.

1) When and/or where do you do your best thinking... in the car while driving to or from work, in the shower right after you awake, while on an airplane, in the kitchen making dinner, when you're out for an afternoon or evening run, while applying your make-up, right before you drift off to sleep, at the gym, or some other time and place altogether?

shower, shower, and more shower. I definitely do my best thinking there. The car on the way to work is good too.

2) Mandatory/planned fire drills in the workplace... an unnecessary waste of time or in the best interests of the employee and company?

unnecessary waste of time. We had one this week at work and it was a complete waste. Everyone knew how to grab their purses and jackets and get out of the building. it's not like we are children.

3) If you could afford it, would you take a ride into space before the end of 2005?

definitely not. There is too much risk involved. and i'd prefer to spend my $ elsewhere (like fixing three busted up cars...oy)

4) Has anyone ever called you by the wrong name, like a clueless co-worker or a family member? If so, have you corrected them or just let it go? What was your reaction and how did it make you feel?

Many many people get my name wrong. Not the Ali name. But ocassionally I go by my hebrew name, and people have a lot of trouble pronouncing it. It's Eliana (pronounced eh-lee-ah-nah). Canadians always say it (eh-lee-anna (like anna)) - and lots of people say alana, or elaina. I NEVER correct them because i really don't care. I can't stand the name anyway. If there's someone who i think is going to have trouble, i just tell them to call me Ali.

yeah, easy for other people to say.

I got into an accident last night.
In my father-in-law's car. ouch.

I'm still slightly in shock this morning. Physically, I'm okay. Emotionally, not so much. I think i'm a little better this morning than i was last night.

But, oh my freakin' lord, it was scary. The only other accident I've ever had was when i was 16, and it wasn't bad at all - it was raining cats and dogs and i rear-ended the person in front of me.

Last night's fiasco was another rear-ending, and it was raining too. It was basically a case of me not paying attention for about a second. I looked down in the car and when i looked up, there was a stopped Acura MDX in front of me. I panicked and hit the gas instead of the brake, and smashed into the Acura.

I stood out in the rain for over an hour waiting for the policeman to arrive. The ACura lady didn't want to drive her car because something was dangling, so she called the cops. He was actually quite kind to me, considering the situation.

The hardest part was having to deal with this all alone. I felt like i was 10 years old. i had no idea what was going on (i'm fortunate that I'm not all experienced with accidents) but i made sure just to keep asking questions.

It's all over now. The timing was the second worst part of it. My husband had just landed in toronto at the time of the accident and he and his parents are leaving this morning for a wedding in new york over the weekend, so i'm here all alone to deal with this. We went this morning to rent a car (it's actually not a terrible car - it's a KIA outlander).

The very worst part of it is that I doubt that my father in law will ever be speaking to me again. Granted, he did lend us his car, and I did get into an accident in it. I would be pissed as well. He has every right to be. But, i don't think he's going to get past this. and I really can't live with that. WE had discussed renting me a car while we were figuring out whether or not to fix the jeep or to get the minivan. We ended up asking to borrow the car instead. In hindsight, we know renting would have been the best choice. Also, had i learned how to drive stick, the accident would have been in my husband's car - not as bad of a situation.

Now, my father in law doesn't want to go through insurance because he doesn't want his premium to go up and he doesn't want to lose his five-star, never had an accident status. so now my husband is trying to convince the acura lady to get an estimate on their car and just allow us to pay for it - so then they don't have to send a claim into the insurance company either. I'm a little nervous about this - not because it will save us money (which it obviously will NOT because spending money to fix the lumina, the acura, and my jeep is not exactly something we can afford right now - for us going through insurance is better financially), but because if afterwards the lady decides that she "was injured" in the accident, we get screwed. The only positive side about not going through insurance is that my father in law might be willing to find a way to get past this, because we will be paying for all damages and he doesn't lose anything out of it. So, we'll have to see what happens now.

I'm a bit of a wreck this morning. But, i'm realizing that I'm going to come out of this with several lessons: that accidents happen all the time and i should be thankful that i'm okay, that i shouldn't sweat the small stuff - shouldn't get annoyed with little things that happen with the kids etc. because things could be much much worse, that i need to get my head out of the clouds and start focusing more - i''ve been slightly out of focus for the last little while.

well, there's my rant of the day.
must get coffee into this body.

When you go shoe shopping, and you are wearing a short skirt, wear underwear.

I went to nine west yesterday. Yes, sometimes I like to try on shoes with no intention of buying them. I just like to look at them on my feet.

So, i was trying on a gorgeous pair of shoes and i noticed that the 16-year-old pimply salesman was getting too good of a look. Then i realized. no underwear. shit. Peep show city.

My dear husband's celebrity crush:




My celebrity crush:




I think I win on this one.

....bum bum bum bum...drumroll please....


Nicky Hilton's marriage is on the rocks. Gasp! How could it be?

methinks she's just looking to get back into the news, what with her sister's potty mouth and dirty videos taking the spotlight...

I remember the day that we heard that Christopher Reeve was thrown from a horse and left a quadriplegic. It was May of 1995, and we were teenagers - we had driven to Milwaukee for an REM concert (many of us defying our parents....although I think in this case, i was okay). After the concert we crashed at my parents. I remember seeing it on the news. It was something of a "where were you when JFK was shot" type thing.

How tragic. Superman would never fly again.

After the accident, instead of turning to the dark side, which could have happened (he even told Barbara Walters that he had considered suicide), Christopher Reeve did what any real super hero would have done - he refused to let it bring him down. He vowed that he would walk again, and though that never came to pass, he made amazing progress in his fight. In 1997, he said he regained some feeling in his arms and hands, in 2000 he was able to move his index finger, in 2003, he announced that an experimental device was allowing him to draw breath on his own for the first time since his accident.

He also became an activist for spinal cord research - and truly made the cause his own. The Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation - which is continuously raising money to find a cure for paralysis caused by spinal cord injury - is only one of the many organizations that he was involved in.

Christopher Reeve died on October 10th, 2004. He will always be remembered as the hero that he was - both on and off the screen.

I'm a media whore.

I love it all. I love the news and the gossip about publishing, advertising, tv, movies. I love to see pictures of Britney Spears all pimple-faced with a bag of cheetoes in her hands. I love to read that Zach Braff is NOT dating Natalie Portman, but rather he's been seen around with Mandy Moore. I love the did she/didn't she question of whether Paris Hilton said the n-word on her newest porn video installment. Mary-Kate eats 4 pieces of sushi and yells at people. love it. JLo takes out her own trash. love it. Lara Flynn Boyle puts on a few pounds. love that too. I love it. love it. love it.

which is why, at least twice a day (usually with my morning coffee and then again with my afternoon coffee), I visit my friends up at gawker.com. Oh, it's like heaven for me. Celeb gossip, but with an edge. It's thee place. Time Magazine even put it on its 50 best website list.

And now, it seems my gawker might be no more. It seems they are having some technical...or is it financial difficulties? Someone, please, send them a donation or something. I need my daily fix!
"This site is currently under construction. Please check back at a later time." Instead of the familiar Gawker interface, that was all i could see.
oy vey.


Oh, salvation!
For those true Gawker fans who were online this morning to see the post, the site has been temporarily posted here.



yes...that was me, breathing a sigh of relief.

is that I'm driving my father-in-law's boat of a Lumina.

egads.

I'm a day late...but it's only because I was away from my computer all day yesterday.

so, happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian readers.

I don't actually celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving for me comes at the end of November. I will be having my turkey and peas and mashed potatoes and sweet potato pie and pumpkin pie with my family on November 25th. In Canada. I know that probably sounds weird. But, that's the American in me. It just doesn't feel right to have Thanksgiving on a Monday. In October. Without watching football.

So, we spent the day apple picking. We didn't realize that even though the weather forecast said it was going to be 15c, it was actually around 6-7c, which is quite cold. None of us were dressed warmly enough. We went with Gav's sister and brother-in-law and their 3 kids. It was great. Emily...who certainly is proving that she's my daughter...refused to get in there to pull them off the trees because she didn't want to ruin her shoes by stepping on the apples that had fallen to the ground. I told Gav's sister Sharon that we are much more of an indoor kind of family. :)

When we got home I made an apple pie. What else was i going to do with the 100 apples that i brought home?? I have never made apple pie before - but it was a lot of fun, and it turned out great! I was the most nervous about the pie crust, but it turned out great too!

This is NOT a joke:

I was in the bathroom this morning...minding my own business....doing my business...when this voice calls out, "Onions, onions, onions. That's all i can smell around here!"

I swear I almost died. I realized that she was on her way into the bathroom and was commenting on the smell from the cafeteria. But, to walk into a bathroom and say that??? crazy! At least i was only peeing...imagine how embarrassed the girl in the stall next to me must have been!

So, it's the end of an era. My beloved Jeep is on its last legs. I thought the old girl would have at least a few goods years left in her, but it seems that way too often there are things that need fixing, and each time this happens, we are dropping a good thousand dollars.

On Monday, we discovered that my jeep is leaking oil. And it's not just dripping, it's pouring out. I can see the number signs in my head....i know it will be another grand to fix.

I'm realizing that it may be time to say goodbye. But, i dread the day - for two reasons. The first, naturally, is because this car is my baby. i've had it since i was 16, and I love it. It's the only car I've ever had, the only one I've ever driven. It's become a part of me. I will be very sad to see it go.

The second reason is that I know in my heart that I will be getting a minivan. I am not a minivan person. Do you hear that world??? I am an SUV driver...and no matter what, I always will be. But, we just can't afford it. The Honda Pilot that i really want...is just way way more money than let's say, the Dodge Grand Caravan. So, I know I'm going to end up with a van. cripes.

anyone out there have any opinions on leasing vs. buying? we aren't sure what to do with this next purchase. Two of our friends are leasers and are beginning to steer us in that direction, but we aren't 100% sold. anyone? anyone?

"Wow. Your hair is all sorts of different colors now!"

Emily, go ahead. When you get to high school - dye your hair. Do it any color that pleases you. Learn the hard way that you need to go to an actual salon to get a good coloring job. But, hey, it's a rite of passage every teenage girl must learn.

But, when you are 26-years-old, and are getting your hair dyed professionally, you will never hear me say something like that. Because I know how *great* (that's computer sarcasm....some may not be able to pick up on it...) it made me feel when my mom said it to me last week.

I consider myself to be pretty accepting of most people. But, when i lived at 6161 Bathurst Street for a year, I developed an aversion to Russians. Now, I know this is a huge generalization. But, in my entire building, which i would say had at least 100 apartments in it, there were approximately 5 units that were not Russian.

So, I was truly living among them. And in general, the children were animals (spitting on the elevator buttons so you'd get your finger wet when you touched it...i quickly learned to carry tissues at all times...ew), the teenagers were scary (they were usually outside smoking and most likely drug dealing), and the adults were just plain rude (they wouldn't hold doors open, they would park in your parking spot even though it was YOUR parking spot).

And then there was the smell. It was a kind of onion-y cooking smell that was reminiscent of slight B.O. mixed with cold cuts. The smell would waft down the hallways and even enter our apartment. My roommates and I kept our windows open all year long. even in the dead on winter.

It's been seven years and I'm no longer intolerant of Russians. My husband works with a lot of Russians who he finds very nice and don't smell like cold cuts. And i'm sure their children don't spit on elevator buttons either. One of my sister's best friends is Russian and I like her very much. I know she would hold the door open for me and wouldn't park in my parking spot.

But, every once in a while, i revert back to my old ways. I'm not proud of it. But, it just happens. This morning we overslept. It was quite possibly the worst morning to oversleep. I had so much to do - i needed to make the stew for dinner and plug in the crockpot and i needed to hit the bakery for challahs and dessert and bagels before work. So, needless to say, i didn't get a chance to shower. my hair still looks pretty decent thanks to my flat iron, and with the right make-up and outfit, it's hard to tell that I didn't shower. But, my hands smell like onions. I have scrubbed and washed them about 14 times since i got to work, yet the smell remains.

I smell like my old neighbors in 6161.

I cought most of the VP debate last night. It was hard to find the time to cook (i made 4 - yes 4 - quiches and a huge batch of carrot soup), watch "Making the Cut" with my hubby, and watch the re-airing of Desperate Housewives (i was kicking myself for having missed the first episode), and watch the debate. Thank goodness for time shifting.

Anyway, something that did catch me as a powerful statement was when Cheney said, "Now, in my capacity as vice president, I am the president of Senate, the presiding officer. I'm up in the Senate most Tuesdays when they're in session. The first time I ever met you was when you walked on the stage tonight."

I thought, that's weird. How could they never have met??

And, after a little investigation, I discovered that they had met, several times.

On Feb. 1, 2001, the vice president thanked Edwards by name at a Senate prayer breakfast and sat beside him during the event.



On April 8, 2001, Cheney and Edwards shook hands when they met off-camera during a taping of NBC's Meet the Press, moderator Tim Russert said Wednesday on Today.

On Jan. 8, 2003, the two met when the first-term North Carolina senator accompanied Elizabeth Dole to her swearing-in by Cheney as a North Carolina senator, Edwards aides also said.



hmmm....

come on, who looks better in drag??

i got this from Toby Spinks....who makes me laugh every day...

there are rumors flying around - most notably in the London Sunday Mirror - that my Jude has proposed to his actress girlfriend, Sienna Miller.

But, rest assured, there are no nuptuals in the future. Simon Hall, Jude's spokesman says, "As usual, the British tabs have it wrong. They are absolutely, categorically not engaged."

and there's no ring to speak of. Thank goodness.

"Man cut off his penis and fed it to dog"

A Romanian man was rushed to hospital after he accidentally cut off his own penis and fed it to his dog.

Constantin Mocanu, 67, from Galati county, told doctors he couldn't sleep because of a noisy chicken.

He decided to kill the bird but claims he mistook his penis for the chicken's neck and chopped it off.

When he realised what he'd done, he says he threw the severed organ to the dog which ate it.

The man told National newspaper: "It was after midnight when the bloody cock was making such a trouble outside. I got very angry and went out to kill it.

"I don't know how I got my penis instead. I was so irritated I threw it to the dog before my wife called the ambulance. What could I do with a piece of penis."

The man is now in hospital at Galati where doctors are going to operate on him.

But surgeons say there is no chance of rebuilding his penis and say the best they can do is restore his ability to urinate.

Surgeon Nicolae Bacalbasa said he was not convinced by the man's story.

He said: "It's like the Bible says. If your right hand gives you trouble then cut it off. The man is 67 and he may have had reasons to punish his organ. I am personally more tolerant with these matters."

I am totally 100% buying this when my stepdad turns 64 in February. He will love it.

"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone."

So...we saw Garden State while we were in Milwaukee - my sister, my brother, my hubby and I left the kids at home with my mom and stepdad. I thought the movie was great....and this quote really hit home...no pun intended.

the kids, for the most part, were well behaved. it was my mother who wasn't. and that damn bee that stung me. yes, i got stung by a bee. fabulous.

here's a prime example of my mother. When we got married, she hired this "great" photographer. Turns out, he sucks. and he sucks so bad that the pictures from our wedding are horrible. I'm almost embarrassed to display them. actually, i am embarrassed to display them. so, after the wedding, we swear up and down that we aren't going to pay for our pictures....but naturally, she does. Then, fast forward 6 years. my mom wants to take us for family portraits (even though my brother in law Joe was not in town - - - we didn't think we should have taken family pics without him, but whatever) and where does she make the appointment??? Yup, you guessed it. Lee Ira Seigman. The man who ruined my wedding. Why, oh why? there must be hundreds of photographers in the Greater Milwaukee Area. What was she thinking? How could she possibly give this man more business?

i could go on and on and add all my stories of the week, but i wouldn't want to bore you with the book i could write. I'll just leave you with that little story.

and I don't know...just something about me and traveling that don't mix. For example, last night we get to the airport with perfect timing. not too early that the kids get antsy and not too late that my husband gets antsy. perfect. except that when we get to the desk they tell us that the flight's been delayed for an hour and twenty minutes. great. so...we hang around the airport FOREVER and finally get on our flight. then, the dvd player doesn't work. and, of course, we hadn't brought any back-up toys or books or any other distractions. so, i spent my flight "open it, please" opening the window shade and the seat belt and "close it, please" closing the tray-table and putting the in-flight phone back in its place. My son is a nut.

then we arrived at the airport and get in the longest f$%&^ing line at immigration, and naturally, the line does not move. so, we are the last people to get through, and we are so behind that when we get to the baggage carousel, our bags are the only ones left. ah!!

After a vacation from hell....more about that to come...I decided that today was going to be the start of a really good week. I'm putting my best foot forward and smiling. And then, the bomb drops. I am getting all my stuff together to leave for work this morning and my nanny turns to me and says, "You've gained weight." just like that. I had been slightly on the excited side because i had gotten on the scale just a few hours before and i hadn't gained any weight while we were away. So, i told her just that. I said, "Well, according to my scale I haven't gained any weight, so maybe it's just the outfit." and she said, "No, you've definitely gained weight. Your stomach looks big." I could just crawl up in a hole and die. Most people at least have the tact to lie to you when you ask them if you look bigger. But, I didn't even ask. She just offered up the information. Thanks.