...yes, i did take a brief hiatus, but now I'M BACK!!

let us begin with a retelling of my journey to atlanta and back...it was not pretty.

it all started on Christmas Eve (for the record...i will NEVER be flying on christmas eve again...) at about 5:00 AM when i got to the airport. i stood in line at the US air ticket counter...and by 7:00, i kind of realized that since i'd only moved 6 feet in the line in 2 hours, i was not going to be making my 7:15 flight to Charlotte.

well, they called my flight and about 90 people raced to the front to get checked in. then i ran to the gate, only to realize they weren't even boarding yet. once they did begin boarding, they stopped for about 10 minutes, and then people started getting off the plane.

what gives, you ask? well...i'll tell you. the airline switched planes for this flight...from a 25 row plane to a 21 row. but, they forgot to mention this tiny little detail, so they gave our tickets for those last few rows and boarded the people. so, they had to take those people off the plane, and get all those people to identify their luggage that was already put on the airplane.

to make matters worse, even though i was safe from this in seat 10A, they had also booked another woman in 10A - a mother who was traveling with her family on a cruise. i knew they were going to try to bully me off the plane, but i stood my ground. i didn't want to ruin their vacation, but i had to look out for myself as well. in the end, we both got to stay on the plane.

i did miss my connection in Charlotte (and ...btw...i wlll never be flying anything other than direct in the future) and had to figure out how to get myself on a plane from Charlotte to Atlanta. Thank goodness for the supercute pilot who was able to help me out.

sheesh. then, when i finally got to atlanta....duh duh duh duh...my luggage was lost. hooray. let's add fuel to the fire...

anyway, i eventually got my luggage, and got to my dads house, and had a really great vacation...but what a way to begin in...

Check this out :)

anyone else want to smack Jonathan in the face? How many times is he going to mention Gus and Hera "stealing" his plane tickets? Go G&H. I get way too happy when anyone does anything to piss off Jonathan. oh, and who was thrilled when Victoria counted 50 balls instead of 55??! oh, um, I was!

What's with all the shirtless men in this episode? yuck.

Rebecca..."those are some dirty balls" - i hope they stay in the game a little longer. Her snark is starting to grow on me.

still loving kris and jon. they are awesome.

it's called "The Lap Pillow" and is apparantly quite big in Japan. tee hee.

Unfortunately, because TAR was on at 8 instead of 9, i didn't get to Tivo it until 11...so i haven't watched it yet. i do know that it was part 1 or a 2-parter so nobody got elimintated anyway...

so, instead of a recap, i'll give you some TAR news.

The New York Post reports that executive producer Bertram van Munster says, "I had many conversations with [Jonathan]. I told him you've got to tone it down, you have to stop this kind of stuff, it's not cool -- until then, I'd never given advice to a reality show player before to chill out." van Munster also says that he "warned him over and over again, but if he doesn't want to listen, there's nothing I can do about it."

As to a response, van Munster "had a very firm talk with him that night. But he keeps on being Jonathan, although there's no more pushing and shoving, I can tell you that."

I LOATHE Jonathan.

i stole this from Waiting for Wonderful. Thanks :)

Things in Bold are TRUE

01. I miss somebody right now.
02. I watch more tv than I used to.
03. I love olives.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
07. I love to play video games.
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13. I have acne free skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse frequently.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have a nice butt.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart. I'm not a genius, just smart.
21. I've never broken someone else's bones.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I love rayn.
24. I'm paranoid at most times.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar free.
26. I need money right now.
27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast. [But not as fast as others.]
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs.
35. I have a twin.
36. I couldn't survive without caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look.
39. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
40. I know how to do cornrows.
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is pretty - but only the pre-cheeto eating, walking barefoot on floors, skanked out britney.
45. I have cheated on a significant other.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders. (what's a bourgie?)
57. I'm obsessed with my LJ. (my what?)
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I've graduated college.
70. I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've had the cops called on me before.
74. I bite my nails sometimes.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger...
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga/Livejournal.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum..
88. I enjoy country music.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody you've never met.
102. Kissed someone you knew you shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating with something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in 'lust' more than in 'love.'
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest things ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the TV show "Lost."
111. I think Beyblades is the coolest show in coolsville.
112. There are more things I could be better at, if only I tried harder.
113. Sometimes I don't like food.
114. I worry sometimes that I'm not being the best friend I could be to the people I care about.
115. I desperately want people to respect me, but it rarely happens.
116. I have never been able to say anything positive about myself and truly believe it.
117. I am bisexual.
118. I think Scottish accents are very attractive.
119. I'm very neurotic and suffer from acute paranoia.
120. I speak a language besides English.
121. I joke about eating, shaking, and kicking babies.
122. I'm most likely to spend my money on music.
123. i find it very difficult to fall asleep at night.

A serious floral foul-up.

*** in case any of you are still wondering, the answer to the first baby was Coco Arquette

Dear Friends,

Let me know your sizes. Christmas is tight this year. I've learned to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads: You need four maxis to make a pair.

Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part. Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers, etc.

These slippers are soft and Hygienic; Non-slip grip strips on the soles; Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh; No more bending over to mop up spills; Disposable and biodegradable; Environmentally safe;

Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light day, and Get out the Sand Bags.

Happiest of holidays........

Martha Stewart
Inmate 55170-054




Thanks, Orah, you've made my day!

It's now 8:25 and my son has been screaming since just after 7.
cripes.
this sucks. I know why he's still awake. a) he had a nap today. he hasn't napped in weeks. for 2.5 hours. why my nanny let him sleep so long i have no idea and b) we are out of milk. this is a problem because he's used to having milk right before bed.

but, the thing is, he's tired. if he wasn't tired, i would take him out and let him play. but he's rubbing his eyes, and he's genuinely exhausted. i hate this. and my husband is out playing squash. having a good time. while i'm at home, in agony.

Check this interview out.

Jeff Probst is dating Julie Berry from this past season of Survivor (you know, the one who cried because Chris backstabbed her...) Probst tells People magazine no one is more surprised than he is that he would find love on “Survivor.”

Probst says they started dating after he e-mailed her to say hello once the show was over. He says he’s already met her family.

Probst is 43, Berry just turned 24.



grr...
at least Phil from TAR is still mine...

It seems that Denise Richards stayed unpregnant just long enough to do her Playboy photoshoot. She's pregnant again and due in June. Their daughter, Sam, will be 1 in March. Wow....that's quick.

Ooh..another good episode of Desperate Housewives this week.

The good:
~~Bree. oh, how i love Bree.
~~Lynette, watching the nanny-cam tape with popcorn. hysterical.
~~Susan, admitting that she is all too often the child, while Julie is the parent.
~~Gabrielle, she still loves Carlos....or does she??? Burning his passport! Gabrielle is not too happy that Carlos is not exactly innocent...
~~Rex, i'm thrilled that he's not gay. would have been way too easy of an answer. but S&M? Whoa Baby! That's a whole other ballgame...

The bad:
~~Susan's outfit. nasty-ass blue lampshade during the seduction scene. barf.

Just one day after Vince Carter was traded to the Nets for Alonzo Mourning, Aaron Williams, Eric Williams and two first-round draft picks, the sports world is abuzz with rumors that he tipped off the Seattle Sonics.

According to the Tacoma News Tribune, Carter tipped off the Sonics to a play during the final minute of the Raptors' 101-94 loss to Seattle on Nov. 19 in Toronto. With 29 seconds left in the game, the Raptors called a timeout. After returning to the court, the News Tribune reported that Carter said to the Sonics, ''It's a flare, it's a flare.'' A flare is a common play where a player runs off a screen to catch a pass.

Carter was not available Sunday to comment on the report. Through a spokesman, he told the News Tribune, ''I'm not going to comment on something as ridiculous as that.''

I personally don't think he would have done this. What would be the point? Because he was bitter because he was traded? it would be completely unprofessional. I don't think Vince Carter would risk that. and...it took too long for this news to break. if something this big had actually happened, it would have come out right away.

What do you think?

At the 2nd Annual Spike TV Video Game Awards on December 14th, Bai Ling showed up like this:





She explained that her banged up legs were the result of spending twenty hours on her knees on the Canadian set of Man About Town, with Ben Affleck and Rebecca Romjin-Stamos. Ling did not, however, explain the photo of Jude Law, who was #69 on some list, covering each of her bandages. Nor, for that matter, did she explain why she didn’t just wear pants or a longer dress to cover up said bandages.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an ass

Summer saves Chrismukkah. That's it. Seth will not ever be getting over her. Ever. this was better than the wonder woman costume. But, the good news for Seth is that his girl Alex is supposedly supposed to be having some girl-on-girl action with Marissa this season anyway, so it's not like Seth is really taken...

yama-claus. nice one. I can't wait for Eastover and Kwanzashonah.

Seth says ginormous. that's my word. I actually think it's my husband's word...but i stole it and made it mine. but Seth is welcome to borrow it.

and i'll admit it. there were lots of tears in the Martell household last night. and they were all mine. of course. What a great episode. Best of the season.

...of total horse-shit. what a complete waste of time. i'm glad i tivo'ed it and fast forwarded through the utterly BORING parts. no, i didn't need to see the Ivana footage again, or the Jen C "Jewish" comment or the Stacie 8 ball incident.

I did like the public flogging of Jen. Yay. Finally people were starting to tell it like it is. Jen was crap and a shrill bee-atch and didn't deserve to be in the final 2. it should have been my sweaty-man Kevin up there.

And watching little Stacy dance to the OJ's song was the highlight of the night. i swear i must have played it back about 15 times. hysterical.

altogether too much pink on the males last night.

and Kevin saying he answered the phone shirtless....what? no mention of Kelly's man boobs and various appendages hanging out when he answered the phone???

now available for your viewing pleasure.

~~~ Is it Courtney Love or Britney Spears? How sad is it when we can't even tell??


~~~ Also, you can bid on Britney Spears' badly written book report on Raymond's Run. You can see all the details here.


~~~ Poor George Clooney. When he tried the chat-up line "Guess how old I am?" on an Italian babe, her answer came back: "Fifty?" The actor, a youthful 43, suggested she guess again, only to receive the reply: "Fifty-one?" ha!

no...it's not the Julia Roberts news...again.
This time it's US magazine. Yesterday, Liv Tyler had a baby BOY. But, here's US magazine's (original...it's since been changed) official post on its website

either way, congrats to Liv. It's about time. She looked about 14 months pregnant this week.

...you're team number 2! take that...ass!

Okay, lots of good things to write about last night's episode of the Amazing Race.
Firstly, Kendra ("they just keep breeding") and Rebecca ("no wonder they escaped from Africa") have really got to learn how to keep their mouths shut. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Bolo - what's there to say about Bolo? Eating the raw sausage meat? and leaving some dangling from this lip? I'm not sure i've ever seen anything quite as disturbingly endearing as that!

My love grows stronger for my Phil, who got to wear a new hat last night, psychologist - "Jonathan, i think you need to talk to Victoria" Yes, I agree, instead of trying to justify your hideous actions to Phil (and the cameras), you had better go and talk to your sobbing wife....

I'm still loving Hayden and Aaron and Jon and Kris the best, but last night I was also loving Gus and Hera - probably because Gus kept his clothing on, the scene in Africa was quite touching, and Gus trying to sneak some beer ("i'm just getting my pack...) was hilarious.

Okay, and Jonathan going nutty on Adam for following them? awesome. Could you see the vein throbbing in his neck???

I'm sorry to see Don and MJ leave. They were a great team. and kudos to them for NOT begging for money from locals in Africa. and kudos to the other teams for helping them out. They probably all realized that don and mary jean were most likely the next to go anyway, so helping them out wasn't really a threatening move.

can't wait for next week...as usual :)
i love this show!

hint: her clothing should be a dead giveaway!

So, at work we do these things called running records. Essentially, this means that when we send a potential manuscript to teachers, when they read the books with the students they take notes of all the words the children say - what mistakes they make, which words they stumble on, and when they correct themselves.

anyway, today, i got a set of running records back for a book called "All By Myself." The first page of the book says, "I can brush my teeth all by myself," and next to the text is a picture of a child brushing his teeth. Most students got this one right - it was easy - lots of picture support.

but one student, Brandon, couldn't quite get the words and used hte picture and said, in all honesty, "I can stick a knife in my mouth."

out of the mouths of babes.

is it possible to be too productive?

I've had a lot to work on at work in the last little while, and as of about 13 minutes ago, i've finished everything. there are a few loose ends i need to tie up, but i'm waiting to hear back from other people on those i.e., the ball's in their court.

so, now, i have nothing to do. and i've told my boss. so...i went down to get a coffee and i'm just waiting for her to give me something to do...

Jesus, i hope i don't get fired.

The nominations for the 2005 Golden Globes:

Best Movie - Drama
The Aviator
Closer
Finding Neverland
Hotel Rwanda
Kinsey
Million Dollar Baby

Best Actor - Movie (Drama)
Javier Bardem, The Sea Inside
Don Cheadle, Hotel Rwanda
Johnny Depp, Finding Neverland
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Aviator
Liam Neeson, Kinsey

Best Actress - Movie (Drama)
Scarlett Johansson, A Love Song For Bobby Long
Nicole Kidman, Birth
Imelda Staunton, Vera Drake
Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby
Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol 2

Best Movie (Musical or Comedy)
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
The Incredibles
The Phantom Of The Opera
Ray
Sideways

Best Actor - Movie (Musical or Comedy)
Jim Carrey, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Jamie Foxx, Ray
Paul Giamatti, Sideways
Kevin Klein, De-Lovely
Kevin Spacey, Beyond The Sea

Best Actress - Movie (Musical or Comedy)
Annette Bening, Being Julia
Ashley Judd, De-Lovely
Emmy Rossum, The Phantom Of The Opera
Kate Winslet, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Renee Zellweger, Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason

Best Supporting Actor - Movie
David Carradine, Kill Bill Vol 2
Thomas Haden Church, Sideways
Jamie Foxx, Collateral
Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby
Clive Owen, Closer

Best Supporting Actress - Movie
Cate Blanchett, The Aviator
Laura Linney, Kinsey
Virginia Madsen, Sideways
Natalie Portman, Closer
Meryl Streep, The Manchurian Candidate

Best Foreign Language Film
The Chorus (Les Choristes) - France
House Of Flying Daggers - China
The Motorcycle Diaries - Brazil
The Sea Inside - Spain
A Very Long Engagement - France

Best Director
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Marc Forster, Finding Neverland
Mike Nichols, Closer
Alexander Payne, Sideways
Martin Scorsese, The Aviator

Screenplay - Movie
Charlie Kaufman, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
John Logan, The Aviator
David Magee, Finding Neverland
Patrick Marber, Closer
Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor, Sideways

Original Score - Movie
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Jan AP Kaczmarek, Finding Neverland
Rolfe Kent, Sideways
Howard Shore, The Aviator
Hans Zimmer, Spanglish

Original Song - Movie
Accidentally In Love, Shrek 2
Believe, The Polar Express
Learn To Be Lonely, The Phantom Of The Opera
Million Voices, Hotel Rwanda
Old Habits Die Hard, Alfie

Best TV Series (Drama)
24
Deadwood
Lost
Nip/Tuck
The Sopranos

Best Actor - TV (Drama)
Michael Chikli, The Shield
Denis Leary, Rescue Me
Julian McMahon, Nip/Tuck
Ian McShane, Deadwood
James Spader, Boston Legal

Best Actress - TV (Drama)
Edie Falco, The Sopranos
Jennifer Garner, Alias
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims' Unit
Christine Lahti, Jack & Bobby
Joely Richardson, Nip/Tuck

Best TV Series (Comedy Or Musical)
Arrested Development
Desperate Housewives
Entourage
Sex And The City
Will & Grace

Best Actor - TV (Comedy Or Musical)
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development
Zach Braff, Scrubs
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Matt LeBlanc, Joey
Tony Shalhoubt, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two And A Half Men

Best Actress - TV (Comedy or Musical)
Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives
Teri Hatcher, Desperate Housewives
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives
Debra Messing, Will & Grace
Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex And The City

Mini-Series or TV Movie
American Family - Journey Of Dreams
E!
Iron Jawed Angels
The Life And Death Of Peter Sellers
The Lion In Winter
Something The Lord Made

Best Actor - TV (Mini-Series or TV Movie)
Mos Def, Something The Lord Made
Jamie Foxx, Redemption
William H Macy, The Wool Cap
Geoffrey Rush, The Life And Death Of Peter Sellers
Patrick Stewart, The Lion In Winter

Best Actress - TV (Mini-Series or TV Movie)
Glenn Close, The Lion In Winter
Blythe Danner, Back When We Were Grown-Ups
Julianne Margulies, The Grid
Miranda Richardson, The Lost Prince
Hilary Swank, Iron Jawed Angels

Best Supporting Actor - TV (Mini-Series or TV Movie)
Sean Hayes, Will & Grace
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Oliver Platt, Huff
William Shatner, Boston Legal

Best Supporting Actress - TV (Mini-Series or TV Movie)
Drea De Matteo, The Sopranos
Anjelica Huston, Iron Jawed Angels
Nicollette Sheridan, Desperate Housewives
Charlize Theron, The Life And Death Of Peter Sellers
Emily Watson, The Life And Death Of Peter Sellers

After over 11 hours of deliberation, the jury announced its decision - it will be death by injection for Mr. Scott Peterson. They opted not to give him life without parole, not wanting to allow him to have a life, where he could read, and write letters etc.

According to CNN, Peterson still might not be executed for decades, if ever. That is because California's death row has grown to house about 650 condemned men and women since the state brought back capital punishment in 1978.

Since then, only 10 executions have been carried out -- the last one in 2002. It can take years for even the first phase of the appeals process to begin.

for Ellen and her long-time girlfriend, Alexandra Hedison. Apparantly, Ellen has left her girlfriend for Portia de Rossi (of Ally McBeal fame). The word on the street is that the two met at a photo shoot 9 months ago and hit it off immediately. They met up again recently and quickly broke it off with their significant others to be with each other. and i didn't even know that she was gay. Portia de Rossi that is...i'm pretty sure everyone knows that Ellen's gay.

and it's also splitsville for Scarlett Johansson and her boytoy, Jared Leto. It seems she's broken things off with Leto to be with Darek Jeter. What is she thinking? I'd pick Jared Leto over almost everyone these days...

and what exactly do we think that skirt is made of? a parachute? a tarp? garbage bag? is it even a skirt? it it pants?

okay...due to an unfortunate power outtage at work, my updates have been a little delayed this morning...

Survivor

Okay...here is the reason that there wasn't - and probably never will be - an all-women final four. Women are too emotional and they can't separate these emotions. They can't understand that to actually play this game, you can't become best friends with people, and sit around on your ass all day braiding other women's hair. You need to lie...that's the only way to win.

Here are some thoughts on last night:
~love, love loved Eliza's face when she was voted out. it was asolutely bugg-eyedly priceless. I like Eliza, but what Chris did was smart.
~ Twila's hair at the reunion? what the hell? it resembled some sort of nasty-ass mullet.
~Chris' fiance. there's somethign awfully sketchy there. she said last night that she didn't know he was in the final 2 until last night. that's got to be a lie. the entire world knew he was. methinks that she knew that he won, and was trying not to tell the world that Chris told her (since he's contractually not allowed to tell her...)

Desperate Hosuewives

~i LOVE Bree. I've said this before, but i will say it again, her delivery is fantastic. Bree: Hi, honey. How was school? Danielle: Okay, I guess. Bree: Where does Andrew keep his marijuana? ooh...and the pee. classic.
~Julie and Zack - extra creepy. not sure i'm liking this. and whose body is it? what the heck?
~Lynette and the Nanny. hysterical.
~not exactly 100% sure of my take on Gabrielle/John/John's mom/Susan. I think Gabrielle was stupid to do anything to John in front of his mother. I think she was way to quick to tell Susan the truth, unless she wants it to be foudn out. unless she wants Carlos to know...which is not entirely impossible.

yay or nay?
what do ya'll think??

...but only because i had to take my son to the doctor...my apologies...


Survivor

This is actually the first time i'm remotely interested in watching this season. I NEVER thought that Chris would be the one guy to make it to the final four. i disliked him from the start. but, he's been smart. I love how he sits back and watching all the female drama. He is in a good position. the swing vote - although, sometimes being the swing votes comes back to bite you in the ass. fortunately for him, he did what was best for him. he aligned with Eliza and made sure to say, "even if i end up voting for Julie, it doesn't change things with us" covering his bases there, and he voted with twila and scout, so he covered his bases there.

I'm all for seeing Eliza and Chris in the final two - they are the two i dislike the least.

Apprentice

The first thing i have to say about last night's episode is: bring back shirtless man-boobed Kelly, and take away the boxer-briefs too much meat and two veg showing Kelly. yuck. he was hanging out there way way too much.

okay, I think it should have been Kevin and Kelly as the final 2. but, it was so cleverly crafted. Trump booted Kevin first because he was dying for a Sandy/Jen screaming rematch. he loved every minute of watching each woman try to defend herself into the other final 2 spot.

props to Kelly for keeping his trap shut. smartest move he ever made. you could see him itching to speak up at some point.

i seriously HOPE he wins. Jen doesn't deserve it. and i love love loved when Chris told George that he was being overworked and that he and Pamela spoke to the NBA. did you see George's face when he realized that Jen was once again, shirking responsibility. she's not ready for this. she came across looking like such a dumbass when she met with the Genworth women. dumbass.


OC

ah...once again...too much too soon. oh, yes, what happens...mix ups with all the relationships, but bada bing...in the end it all works out for Seth and flock of seagulls (except last night she had nice looking hair - big improvement i must say], Summer and Zach, Marissa and lawn boy, and Ryan and Lindsey. are we surprised? of course not. do we still love it? of course we do. the OC rocks.

I do like this all too predicatble clever little twist....Caleb is Lindsay's dad. ha! Lindsey and Kiki are sisters! double ha!

[courtesy of wienerphilharmonic]

Last night we watched a pirated version of Alfie. I really didn't care that the quality wasn't amazing, and that the sound was slightly off...because it was two hours of my Jude, looking "smashing".

But, i drew the line when during the last ten minutes of the movie, the audio turned off, and left no sound except for the music track in the background.

what the hell?
has anyone seen this movie?
how does it end?

i really don't want to have to wait for this movie to come out on video to find out...

until somebody loses a member.

According to the Mirror, Angelina Jolie, who plays Colin Farrel's mum in the movie Alexander, says, "[Colin] was always wearing those djellabas (kaftans) which had a pocket. And he'd go up to me and say, 'Will you help me get this out of my pocket?' Staring up at me was his penis. I got him good though once. I pulled and stretched it so much, it was almost pulled off."

the picture is just priceless. I had to post it.

...and she's not even good at it. Not only was she lip-synching when she made her singing debut on Good Morning American, but she was lip-synching BADLY.



According to several news accounts, Lohan used backing tracks during her song on Monday and didn't do a particularly good job of syncing up her performance with said tracks. At one point, the show's director cut away because the cameras caught her taking a breather and not singing during at least one moment in the song, Rumors, even as her voice continued to pipe through the speakers.

Casablanca Records spokeswoman Kim Jakwerth tells the New York Post, "The first song had some background. It's a little more rock and roll and needed it there. It's about how you make the song sound exactly like the record."

Just last week, Lohan told Launch.com that she'd made a point of recording songs she'd be able to sing live, and she promised that there would be no Ashlee Simpson moments during her promotional TV appearances. ''I wanna be able to sing stuff to show that I have a voice and I can actually project,'' she said. ''And I wanna find things I'm not gonna have to lip sync to, and that, when I sing it in the studio, it's something that I could also sing live and sound just as good as I did on the CD.''

Holy Cow! She's reading her emails at loud as she's typing them!
I mean, honestly, who does that???

but alas, no one was, and I usually HATE non-elimination rounds, but i was so happy to not see Don and Mary Jean be eliminated. Phil was happy to tell them that they were still in the Amazing Race.

Thanks to freakgirl for describing Gus's nipples to a tee. he's got pepperoni nipples. hee hee. giddy with laughter.

okay...Adam living with his "mommy and daddy" is something i think is nuts, but at least it's something i can understand. BUT, the fact that his mother's clipped his toenails for him??!!! I hope Rebecca met him when he was 5 :)

i HATE that there are so many chances for everyone to catch up - everyone gets on the same plane and stores don't open until a certain time. There seem to be little advantages for being ahead. it truly seems that as long as you are not in LAST place, you are totally fine.

I love Kris and Jon. They totally don't care about anything - they just seem really happy to be there. When everyone was getting flustered and scared in Africa, they were all, "we love it!" and when they realized that the place opened at 7 and not 10, they didn't yell at each other or freak out. and then ended up in first. i hope they win.

Kendra makes me laugh.

Don and MJ make me smile - although much less so this week, after hearing Don's heaving sounds on the boat. I ask, was that REALLY necessary? we got the point that he was sick. and that he loves his wife. aw.

and Jonathan makes me want to cry. what as ass.

1. "250 strands of lights, 100 individual bulbs per strand, for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights."

2. "Aunt Clara had, for years, labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually four years old, but also a girl."

3. "Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?"

4. "I can't get the antlers glued onto this little guy. We tried Crazy Glue, but it don't work."
"Have you tried staples?"

5. "Keep the change ya filthy animal"

Colin Farrell shared his bad habit with In Touch magazine. He says that he habitually jerks out his hair, one follicle at a time. "I'm a hair puller-outer. What do you call it? Trichomania or something...I love the sensation--that moment, right before it's left. And then...dnnnk. I just love it."


hmmm...some of my bad habits...I scratch my head, I obsess about my weight, no matter how hard i try, i can't keep my car clean, I bite my lips, I am impulsive when i shop, I tend to be pessimistic about things.

my poor husband! sorry, honey!

Everything is bigger in America according to Morgan Spurlock, who has crafted a contemporary horror story by subjecting himself to thirty solid days of a McDonald’s-only diet. Ugh.

Under the supervision of a cardiologist, a gastroenterologist, a nutritionist and a matter-of-fact internist, Spurlock explores the ritual delights of fast food frenzying, an American tradition. He doesn’t have far to venture; as a resident of Manhattan Spurlock has eighty-three McDonald’s locations to binge from. As Spurlock’s health deteriorates and his weight and cholesterol balloon, he spouts frightening facts with the urgency of a dead man walking.

A staggering sixty percent of Americans are overweight; in certain states almost one of four is considered obese. Couple this with the fact that McDonald’s is attempting to Super-size the planet with their saturated fat-stuffed burgers and fries, and you’ve got yourself the makings of an intriguing experiment.

Spurlock’s vegan chef fiancé is horrified by her lover’s McDiet. Along with an unhealthy pallor and flagging energy, Morgan’s sex drive is merely a shadow of its former lusty self. His mounting depression leaves little time for anything but periodic check-ups with his on-call docs, who are patently alarmed at the results.

McStomach-aches and McGas are the least of Spurlock’s worries. Spurlock gains a hellishly unhealthy seventeen pounds in twelve days (almost twenty five in thirty days), while his liver metastasizes into a state of shock from the steady diet of sugar and fat.

The tension mounts as Spurlock endeavors to complete his investigation while racking up alarming symptoms that will seriously endanger his health. Data regarding horrendous school lunch programs, the declining haleness of our country and the fear factor of gluttonous addiction are reminiscent of Michael Moore’s slapdash soap-boxing, but guaranteed to keep you from darkening the door of fast-food institutions for years to come.

McDonald’s pulls in 46 million suckers a day, most of them yearning for the comfort and ease of a fast-food fix. McD’s genetically modified fare is an American staple, worshipped to the tune of 1.4 billion of annual advertising dollars.

Shortly after the heavy-handed hype of Super Size Me at this year’s Sundance Film Fest (where it won the Director’s Award), McDonald’s suspended Super-Sizing at all of its fast-food outlets. Chalk up a small step for the man (Spurlock) and a big leap for mankind.


(special thanks to Jeanne Aufmuth)

Thank you Simon and Garfunkel. it is the sound of silence for the first time this evening.

argh.

my son usually goes to bed at 7. it's our nightly routine. we change him, give him his sippy of milk (i know...we are horrible parents...but at least we got rid of the paci at 15 months...) grab his 2 blankets and haul him off to bed. no songs, no stories. he was sooo easy.

until last week hit.
this sweet, little innocent child:

has become:


I swear. i don't know what happened to him. he's decided that when we put him to bed, the first thing he is going to try is to be sweet, "Take me out. please." and then when we say no, his next tactic is to scream. And on several occasions, he's screamed until he's puked (yes, you are all remembering now..."me puke in me bed") and duh duh duh duh, surprisingly, each time he's done this, my husband has been nowhere to be found! yes, the first time he did come back from Dave's to give Josh a bath...

what the heck am i going to do? why, all of a sudden, does my son hate to sleep? it's pulling at my heartstrings...listening to him wail away....please mommy, take me out of here. oy. it's so sad.

and i am having a completely unproductive evening - it was supposed to be spent making Chanukah cookies and scrapbooking - i have done neither. given up on the cookies. i was supposed to start at 7:30 and seeing how now it's after nine...it's not happening. i will be picking up cookies from the bakery tomorrow (sorry Sharon and Zvi...:)) and i suppose i will go get some scrapbooking in right now.

now that he's quiet.
please please please don't let me be jinxing myself...

Okay, I usually have super weird dreams...but last night's might take the cake.

I was in a hotel...with my friend Michelle...and we had just gotten kicked off the amazing race. and then i was in Phil's

hotel room and then i got stung by a bee.

hmmm...what.the.hell.??

The goal of any filmmaker is to get the people talking. And that certainly is what Michael Moore has done with his documentary, Fahrenheit 9-11. It is a movie that has provoked, delighted, and divided many of its viewers. Some will see it as propaganda, and some will see it as travesty. But, at the end of the day, whether you like or dislike Michael Moore, you cannot deny that this movie raises questions and promotes discussion.

Questions like why have we never seen the footage of George W. sitting and reading “My Pet Goat” while his country was under attack? Why didn’t the press shed light on Ashcroft saying he was “tired of hearing about terrorism warnings” prior to September 11th? Why didn’t we know about the Bin Laden family being allowed to fly out of the US on Sept. 13th? Why did we not know about the African-American members of the House of Representatives parading before the Senate, who were not recognized because no Senators would sign their petitions?

Obviously, this film is completely biased. It’s not the last word on Bush or the war in Iraq. It’s Michael Moore’s word. He is obviously angered by Bush and his laissez-faire attitude prior to 9/11….the golfing, the fishing, the vacationing 40% of the time …and angered by the idea that oil money and politics drove the war in Iraq, and that the fear that Bush instilled in the nation was false….and angered by the money-driven web that entangles Bush, Dick Chaney, Saudi Arabia and Haliburton.

For Moore, this is exquisite payback for a moment when he and Bush came face-to-face for the first and only time. “Behave yourself, will you?” sneered Bush. “Go find real work.” And so much of this film is Moore’s sarcastic reply. For us, it's a movie that we can laugh with (when Bush warns the people to be afraid, be very afraid...and then in the same breath says, "Now, watch this drive!") and cry with (when Moore introduces us to Lila, the mother who lost her son in Iraq). And whether we agree with his views or not, Fahrenheit 9-11 is incredible piece of filmmaking.

..because you can always use one.

Remember this guy?


He played Billy Bob in Varsity Blues, Michael 'Sugar Daddy' Bernardino in the WB series Popular and Reggie Ray in Not Another Teen Movie.

This is him now:


from imdb:
Ron Lester gained celebrity status at an early stage in his career, but his draw in Hollywood seemed to be based on one physical characteristic - his weight. Obese since 5 years old, by the time he was 30 years old, Ron weighed 508 pounds. Hollywood hired him as the lovable fat kid but his health was in serious danger. With the support of his friends, family, and co-workers, Ron decided to go through an experimental (at the time) type of gastric bypass surgery that almost took his life. When he recovered from flat-lining on the operating table Ron began to lose the weight - and his celebrity identity. 348 pounds were lost in under two years and he's had 14 plastic surgeries to tighten and remove excess skin. Now Ron has a hard time getting the roles he once won. Admits food was his 'drug of choice' to cover up pain from often being the new kid in school (he changed schools often due to discipline problems), and the death of 22 close friends and family members throughout his life.

Apprentice

I hate Jen, and would love to see her go down (and actually felt sick to my stomach when she and Sandy all of a sudden became the "bobbsey twins") but Ivana was such a dumb-ass. It wasn't even the fact that she did it, it was the way she did it - she was just so awkward and weird about the whole thing...even the way she said it "i'll drop my skirt." it just sounded really cheap and stupid.

Jen and Sandy used their sex appeal - they weren't trashy about it though. They knew that 2 women dressed the way they were dressed, could sell a chocolate bar for $5. Ivana panicked at the thought of losing as a pm again and losing to Jen and just went nuts.

I would have liked to have seen Jen go last night, but Ivana will have to do.

Survivor

I didn't watch it, but I'm thrilled to hear that Ami went down!!! Yay! But, I'm pretty sure she's got laser beams or something in her boobs. Machine gun jubblies....

The OC

What happened to Josh Schwartz promising to slow down a little bit?? Well, last night it seemed that everyone hooked up - Summer and Zack, Marissa and superold lawn boy, and surprise surprise....Seth and flock of seagulls (with a surprise kiss at the Peach pit...ooops, I mean the Bait Shop) and Ryan and Lindsay. yeah...we couldn't have seen any of that coming...

but it's really all happening too quickly. What happened to the soap-opera-y buildup to relationships that I've come to love on my teen angst TV shows (see...Beverly Hills, 90210 and Dawson's Creek)???

Q1. Do you use the same brand and type of shampoo all the time? How about soap, toothpaste, and deodorant/antiperspirant?

i use the same brand of shampoo all the time - herbal essences. but i have about 5 different scents in the shower at the same time. i use whatever i grab first. i don't use soap - i use bath and body works shower gel - and i vary my scent. always use crest toothpaste - mostly out of habit. and i always use secret (the click kind) deoderant.

Q2. Your fairy godmother appears and gives you one wardrobe-related wish. What do you ask for?

one wish? crap. that's so hard. i'd probably wish for someone to dress me every day (and that person to pay for all the clothing as well)

Q3. If you could go back in time and rescue historical figures from untimely deaths, who would be among your potential rescuees?

another hard one. Anne Frank. Amelia Earhart. Charlotte, Anne, and Emily Bronte. Martin Luther King Jr.

Q4. Name five mundane things that give you a happy thrill.
the garden state soundtrack, desperate housewives, freshly baked cookies, really comfy socks, going up to pay for something and having them tell me its on sale, even though i was going to pay the higher price anyway.

I've always said that cereal is good for breakfast, lunch, or dinner and now people are finally catching on.

Cereality - a new restaurant in Philadephia - serves nothing but cereal, day and night. Itfeatures servers wearing jammies, offering 30 varieties of name brand cold cereal and 36 toppings ranging from fruit to malted milk balls -- all with regular, flavored or soy milk.

You can also get mixtures with imaginative names. "Devil Made Me Do It" includes Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms, chocolate crunchies and malt balls.

Diners can stretch out on a couch and watch cartoons or check e-mail with free wireless access.

The restaurant in the neighborhood near the University of Pennsylvania is popular with students. But the co-founders plan new locations in the next year in places like hospital lobbies, airports and office buildings.

(courtesy AP)

"I'm just looking for that moment to drop my Jedi knickers and pull out my real light saber."
Ewan McGregor





"I'm doing my bit for the women's movement. The women have always been naked in movies, and now I'm just desperate to take my clothes off as much as possible."
Ewan McGregor

Ah, the Amazing Race manages to not let me down yet another week. I can't figure out what's annoying me more though, Adam un-naturally high-pitched whiny voice, or Victoria's plastic botoxed, overplucked face??

Here's a tip for all you IKEA go-ers (or as Freddy put it eye-kee-ay), build, build, build. Even I can can build Ikea furniture - it's EASY. Counting? frustrating, and clearly, not so easy. Bolo can't count - he made that perfectly clear with his 66-68-80 counting. I swear i was laughing out loud!

Oh, Lena. Poor Lena. Over 8 hours in the field and over 100 bales of hay. and nothing to show for it, except Phil coming out on the field to tell you to stop. Poor thing. She was amazing. I'm impressed that she didn't give up.

Congratulations! You are Gabrielle Solis, the
ex-model with everything she's every wanted a
rich husband, a big house and John, the
17-year-old gardener.


Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


I beg to differ on this one. Most days I feel like i can relate the most to Lynette. i think it was the housekeeper question that did it...

part 1:

Paris Hilton has gone dark...and looking a little Tammy Faye Baker-esque. Perhaps to try to clean up her image? Perhaps to try to look more like the skeletal Renee Zellweger:



and speaking of our favorite skeletal celebs,



it seems that Mary-Kate's ex, David Katenberg, hasn't given up on his skinny beauty. He went from Boston to LA, hoping to see her, but bumped into her new bf, Ali Fatourechi, instead. Word on the street is that they were both at the same restaurant, sitting across from each other, staring each other down. Quite awkward. I'm sure.

And speaking of awkward, what the hell has happened to Britney Spears?

..actually, that’s far from the truth. I LOVE to say I told you so.

And I did….on September 9th, when I blogged this: It seems it's really final jeopardy for Ken Jennings. Subject: Companies and Corporations. The Answer: This company has a workforce of 17000 people, whose average working year is only 4 months long. anyone wanna take a stab? Ken couldn't get it...so what hope do you have? So, he walked away with 2.5 million dollars, after winning 74 games. holy crap.

And then again on September 13th, when I added this: an update on Ken Jennings. The question was: What is H&R Block?

(feel free to check back at my archives if you doubt me for some reason)

Down goes Jennings! Down goes Jennings! Ha! And you lost to a girl!