i've been pretty kind to Brit Brit of late...but this was just screaming to be posted.

so, i'm working monday.
so, while the entire country is bbq-ing and holiday-ing, i'll be work-ing.
but, the good news is that i got the day off today.

want to hear what thrilling and oh-so-exciting things i did with my day off???
well, for starters, i left the house at 8 (actually EARLIER than on a regular work day), rode the bus halfway downtown, then realized i had left one of the important forms that i needed, got off the subway, got back on going to opposite way, got the form, stopped at starbucks and got a quick coffee with the husband, and got right back on the subway again.
made it to the US consulate at 10:30 (only 2 hours after i thought i'd be there), got a number - 096 - when they were only on 78 - and sat and waited. and waited. and waited.
but- dromroll please - by just a few minutes after 12, the paperwork was complete and my daughter isabella has officially claimed her US citizenship. woohoo! just in time for her to celebrate her independence on tuesday.

are you getting jealous yet??

then i came home, yelled at my daughter because she broke a mirror and immersed my brush in water (ew). yelled at my son for wiping his face on his clean white t-shirt. took the three kids for pictures. came home. dropped them off. went back to the superstore and went food shopping.

i need to learn how to actually TAKE a day off.
i need a nap.

i have a serious bone to pick with those stupid bitches who run the employee store.
the fucking women who just kicked me out.
because i was wearing heels.
in the warehouse.
what the fuck?
i was already in there. they let me in. didn't even notice my shoes.
i had a bag full of stuff.
i asked if i could just pay for my stuff and then leave.
they said no. safety hazard or some such shit.
but i had to leave anyway. i had to walk out just the same.
i wasn't even asking for them to let me stay longer.
just to pay for the bag that i had already filled. with the Robert Munsch jackpot. seriously, i had about 30 books in the bag.
but no.
jesus. i'm fucking pissed off.

please excuse my language.

how freakin' cute is my kid????

i'm always the last to know...yessiry. i'm a copycat. Dooce did the clog thing. check it out, because it's hilarious (i was going to write fuckin' but the husband commented about how my blog is full of swearing these days....well, note to said husband, maybe if you didn't leave for a week to go to Israel and leave me with a very sick, possibly whooping cough-ridden child and a child who destroys cameras, i wouldn't need to swear so much...but, i digress). And then, my girl crush, RSM, had to go and be all croc-block-y. so, it's unoriginal to talk about the croc faze that's sweeping the nation. but, it MUST be talked about.

so, every morning for the past week and a half, as i'm desperately trying to escape from the death grips of my children and get out the door ("wait Mama, i need a hug and a kiss!" "just one more" "don't go to work!" "jhoanne isn't giving me froot loops" "i want chocolate milk"), Emily has slipped in a coy, little, "and don't forget to buy my crocs on the way home."

Maya got in the car a few weeks ago, wearing her crocs proudly.
"My bubbie bought these for us. for me and for Kyra. We are the coolest girls in school! i can't believe i have them. Kyra's the first in her class to get them! Emily you NEED them. they are the most popular shoes in the world right now. Emily, you NEED to get them. They are so comfortable. you see these things on the foot part, Ali? They actually MASSAGE your feet!! Can you believe it??!! Emily you NEED to get them."

and, like that, i have a possessed girl. just call her Emily Rose. think we should Exorcise the croc demons within her?

okay...so here's my take on these things.
Crocs are not cute or sassy or fashionable.
they are UGLY.
they are foam. and have holes all over them.
they are neon. neon, people!!
they are for gardeners. or fishermen. or boaters.
they are girly. i hate to say it, but i laugh my ass off when i see them on men. even if they are black or brown in some lousy attempy to masculine-ize them. they are GIRLY.

but, they certainly are trendy.
and i must admit...i find this curious. what is it about these crocs that are making everyone run to buy a pair??? anyone? anyone? Bueller? anyone want to try to sell me on these ugly things?

my daughter will have at least 3 pairs by the end of the summer.
because i told her to call my mom and ask her for them
and that's exactly what she did.

All the times we had together



And as our lives change, come whatever



We will still be, friends forever



didn't think i'd still remember those Vitamin C words, now did ya???
well...i'd like to thank Ms. Paterson for teaching the entire junior kindergarten this song because now i can't freakin' get it out of my head.
oh, and also for being the best teacher Emily's ever had (i realize...she's only 5...but she really IS a great, great teacher)

***and don't challenge me because i remember every word to that song.

I just got finished telling Rebecca that for end-of-the-year teachers' gifts, i'm a big fan of the gift card.
Before winter vacation i give Starbucks. End of the year, it's Homesense. that's my "usual."

you really can't go wrong with the gift card.
you don't have to spend a fortune (although 10-15-20 dollars a shot and Emily had 3 teachers and Joshua had 2....it's not cheap either).
you don't have to give it a lot of thought. and they are relatively easy to get. and you don't have to worry about wrapping it.
you know it's something they will use. instead of something they will put on a shelf somewhere with all the other tacky and unusable parent gifts.

I used to think that a gift card was a little cop-out-y of a gift.
it's not quite cash - they don't trust that you will spend your cash wisely, so they make sure you can only spend it in one place.
it's not quite a gift - they wanted to buy you a gift at the Gap, but instead, bought youthis lovely card.

but, in the last few years, i've grown to appreciate gift cards.
they are awesome!
because i am a person who wouldn't spend cash wisely. i'm a person who would stick it in her wallet and end up using it all up, bit by bit, on paying for parking and school trips and frozen yogurt. and at the end of the day, that becomes the suckiest gift ever.
because i am a picky person. if someone buys me something from the gap. 19 times out of 20 i will return it. it's a big problem that i have. i return EVERYTHING. so, a gift card beats me to the punch. there's nothing to return. and i can call you up at the end of the day and say, "hi, mother and father in law, i love the new gym bag and underarmour workout tank you bought me for my birthday!"
see...everyone's happy.

15% chance my baby has whooping cough.
great.

ETA: yes, she's been immunized. i'm not one of THOSE mothers (not that there's anything wrong with that....). it seems that babies can still get it.

ETA: the good news: WOOOOOHOOOOO. we are 100% WHOOPING COUGH free! yay! i'm jumping for joy. i'm SOOO happy. the bad news: they've upped her steroid puffer to two times a day. poor little lamb.

what do y'all think?
hideous? nice?

i'm going with definite improvement. makes her look less trashy. now maybe if she can stay away from walking barefoot in bathrooms and eating cheetoes while wearing black bras under white shirts...we could be looking at a new and improved Brit Brit.

there's nothing like lying down in bed with your 5-year-old at bedtime and while you are singing Edelweiss, she looks at you and says,
"um, Mama, your boob is on my pillow."

holy shit! my boob had literally fallen out of my shirt and was just lying there.
so, i lifted the ole girl up and put her back into my bra and tank top.

i'm all class.

Today there was a "surprise" man-shower for a guy at work who is getting married.
It was a pot-luck lunch.
which i find awkward even when it's with good friends.

awkward since i have issues. issues with being picky. and not liking to eat other peoples' food. even when its friends (not all friends...you know if i eat at your house...). so, imagine when it's not friends. people's kitchens i have never entered.

awkward since my department is a social mess. conversations never seem to be normal. sometimes they come across as being very first-datey, when you don't know all that much about the other person. they are superficial at best. sometimes they are about work stuff, which i can't stand. sometimes they are about the weather (could you get any more superficial??) and impending fire drills.

i, smartly, placed myself right next to my boss. prime location for a little ass-kissing. a little sucking up, especially when you are coming up a contract renewal, never hurts. i talked to her about my cookie addiction (prompted by her noticing that i wasn't eating anything) and about celebrities. she surprisingly knew more than i'd thought.

and there was coffee. free coffee. so, you gotta know that i'm all over that.
and now i'm on a little bit of a caffeine high.

it's amazing the things that you tell your girl friends.
i told them about how i really hated Lord of the Rings. Well, hated is a bit strong. i thought the first was okay, the second was meh, and the third was incredibly hard to sit through. the saving grace? Legolas. mmm...Legolas. the only time i've ever thought that Orlando Bloom was hot.
i told them that the husband and i have trouble doing things together since i won't play xbox (because he always wins) and he won't play board games (because i always win).
i told them what kind of underwear i prefer.
and everything else i told them, and you know that you want to know, stays between the three of us. because what happens at Tomo, stays at Tomo.

1 broken camera +
1 guilty little boy (i know because of the 45 pictures he took of himself with said camera) +
1 angry, tired, frustrated mommy +
1 blankie in the garbage =

1 very guilty mommy this morning.
that was my first big time punishment.

children have this uncanny ability.
they sense when you are going away and they pick that moment, that most inopportune moment, to puke. or fall and break something. whatever it is, it's always before you go away. or while you are away. always.
so, with the husband's impending trip, i just assumed someone was going to get sick. it just seems i was looking in the wrong place. i thought it would be the boy or the girl. little did i know that it was the baby. the baby who is NEVER sick decided to get sick. and REALLY sick.
thank god for Dr. Jack and my mother in law, because without them, i don't think i'd be sitting upright right now. it started saturday night. the wheezing. the heavy breathing. the raspy coughing and the bark. oh, that croupy bark. i hate that.
but on sunday she was all smiles. no rasp. no wheeze. no bark.
i wanted to get her checked out before the husband left.
so, Dr. Jack gave us a puffer. which i used before bed last night.

she was up at 3. and i was so scared.
she was crying hysterically. every time she coughed, she cried. it was obvious that it was hurting her.
her breathing was so labored. i brought her into bed with me. changed her diaper and gave her a bottle a water. she collapsed into me and i could feel her chest moving up and down so quickly and sharply. it was so scary. and then her eyes rolled back in her head and i got flashes of "there's something that's just NOT right."
i went downstairs. starting packing us up to head to the ER.
i went down to tell jhoanne that i was leaving the older 2 sleeping upstairs and she should listen out for them.
then i thought that sitting around in a waiting room for 4 hours was going to be pointless.
so, we undressed and the two of us got into the shower. hoping that the steam would help.
then, we got into the bath. hoping that the warm water would soothe her.
she finally fell asleep at some point this morning. i'm not really sure what time it was. it was sometime before 6:30, because that was when the Emily brigade trickled in. i was so not conscious that when i woke up at 7:30, i realized that she was watching The Stepford Wives. (should i worry?).

when Isabella woke up at 8. she was all smiles. no rasp. no wheeze. no bark.
it's really bizarre.
i came to work today. not sure what else to do. i told jhoanne to call me if she starts to wheeze at all.
i'm worried. i'm scared. i'm tired. i'm alone.
this sucks.
this is the most difficult part of parenting. knowing that this little creature depends on me to know what to do...and sometimes i just have no fucking clue what to do.

5 things in my refrigerator:
1. 2% milk. in a bag. i still can't get over this concept and i've lived in Canada for 9 years. i will NOT drink milk from a bag. no ma'am.
2. diet pepsi cans.
3. about 5 half-empty baby food jars
4. Frank's red hot. mmmm..Frank's red hot. goes on everything
5. leftover pizza from last night's dinner

5 things in my closet:
1. about 500 extra hangers
2. my skinniest jeans that i know i'll NEVER fit into, but they inspire me
3. a chessboard (what it's doing in my closet i have no idea)
4. the dress i wore to my sister's wedding (ew)
5. about 25 black turtlenecks

5 things in my purse:
1. zantac
2. my kids' health cards - just in case
3. a gift card to sportchek
4. my wallet
5. cell phone

5 things in my car:
1. a naked ken doll
2. my most favorite movie of all time - Raise Your Voice (that was sarcasm, if you couldn't tell...)
3. a skirt, in my glove compartment, for carpool days
4. my pliko
5. 4, yes, count them, 4 car seats. shit.

5 people that get tagged:
1. Mandi
2. Chris
3. Christine
4. Becca
5. Jaynee

pregnant or a strangely-angled shot??

Feast Ninety-Eight
Appetizer
What is a word that you use that would not be considered common?
well...i guess because my grandparents only spoke yiddish and german, i have a lot of words that are normal for me to say. but other people don't use them. like kvetch. that's a big one for me. if i say it to people who don't know what it means, they look at me like i'm from Mars. oh, also, Haley can't handle the fact that sometimes i call Isabella "mama" which is short for mamala (Mamala(MAM-ah-lah) Term of endearment, esp. for children.). just a thing i do because that's what my grandparents called me.

Soup
What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
no wall calendar for me.

Salad
Name 3 people you speak with by telephone a regular basis.
my mom
my dad
let's be honest...i don't really speak to anyone else regularly...maybe Sharon...Tova...the Moussadjis? the Opps ("hello?hello?hello?")? my sister? i don't really know. i don't talk to anyone.

Main Course
If you could buy a new outfit for someone you know - who would it be and what would you purchase for them?
am i allowed to buy an outfit for myself? i don't know if i can answer this one without it coming across badly. so, i'll abstain.

Dessert
What is the last beverage you drank?
drinking it right now...grande nonfat one splenda latte.

note #1 - to all of you people who think i'm a bad mother and let my daughter get herself in dangerous situations...you know who you are...(Stephanie...) - i assure you that both my nanny and i were on the scene - right on top of her - lest she dare do something that could injure her. i just wanted to get it on film ("mommy? what's film?"). also, this is child #3 for me - and i've managed to keep them all in once piece so far...so there...nanananana.

note #2 - Haley told me that I should have given Beth credit for the term pretend celebrity boyfriend. i didn't realize that was hers. i got it from my friend...you know, the one who loves Adam Brody and Luke Wilson, the one who wants to remain nameless (of course, since she has bad taste in boyfriends...) but, Beth, if it IS your term, i'm sorry that i swiped it. didn't mean to. either way, you get a shout-out :)

So...a whole long time ago, i posted this. a list of my 20 pretend celebrity boyfriends.
now, a year and a half later, my list has changed. some are still there. mmm...Jared Leto. Some are no longer...Jacob Young...who?

so, for today, a day that i just don't feel like doing ANYTHING at work, i propose a challenge.
list your pcb's or pcg's.
you get five. and only five. (therein lies the challenge. it was hard to come up with ONLY five!!)
and you don't have to give reasons.
and there will be no judging...well, not TOO much judging.

here are mine, in no particular order:
Jude Law


Jared Leto


Ryan Gosling


Patrick Dempsey


Josh Duhamel


oh my goodness. there are so many people i want to add to that list...but i'm fighting the urge...

also, trying to figure out if there's a theme here....i think it's the broody types. with powerful eyes. yep, that's it.

look at what i can do, Mama!!











great.

i've been seeing them everywhere.
white eyelet. shirts. skirts. what have you.
i have this bizzaro love for eyelet fabric, and it stems all the way back to my childhood. my bedding growing up was white eyelet. so, you can see how it's somewhat nostalgic for me.
and now it's all over the place.

so, i bought a skirt.
i've been resisting and resisting.
but it was on sale. and i couldn't resist any longer.
i fought the urge. but the urge won.



but, white is tough, man...
what do you wear with white? Tova says black. with red accessories.
and how can i possibly wear white with three little kids? i'm always dirty. surely, white will show mess.
and as sharon so politely put it, "white is unforgiving."

well, i dared to wear it to work this morning.
with a black shirt.
and a red necklace.
and i'm still clean (keep your fingers crossed)
but i'm self- conscious as hell.
so, if you see me...please just tell me it looks good.
even if it doesn't.
thanks.

yes, folks, it's back. and it's better than ever.

notable notables:
~~Ari at the "gym"- priceless.
~~The glass bowl full of quarters for the parking meter. i love Lloyd. LOVED his "Your finger?" comment.
~~Mrs. Ari. love her.
~~James Woods. he's fuckin' hilarious.
~~jury's still out on Vince's hair. i'll let you know. sometimes it looked good, but sometimes it looked like he was the victim of "soft water" or something (like that Seinfeld episode...)

this morning my daughter ate a cream cheese sandwich.
an entire cream cheese sandwich.
i don't know whether to cry because, mommy, baby food in a jar, is like, so last month.
or to celebrate because my other two children don't.do.sandwiches.
sure they like toppings just fine. cream cheese, peanut butter what have you. but, as soon as it's sandwiched between two slices of bread, it doesn't get eaten. or it gets licked out. seriously. crackers. fine. rice cakes. fine. but bread? um, no, not going to happen. i wish i had their restraint when it comes to bread. i could eat an entire loaf in a sitting.
but my porky Bella, she's of an entirely different breed, it seems.
if it's edible, or even if it's not edible, she'll have it.
if it's not related to baby food in any shape or form, she's all over it. like a cheap suit.
i must admit. baby food? easy. a meal in less than thirty seconds (would be less but i can never fucking open those baby food jars on the first try). you know EXACTLY how much your child is eating. takes zero creativity.
now? i have to think at every meal. what can i feed her? what might she like? what won't she choke on? oh yeah...and there's all the things she can't have....honey, fish, egg whites (or is it yolks...who can remember these things), tomatoes (someone said no tomatoes...but i think we passed this since she's eating pizza and meat sauce on a regular basis...). it's all so complicated.
also? we still don't have any teeth.
are there foods that can't be eaten without teeth? everyone always makes the steak/teeth comments (usually old men. it's a staple "oh, just wait until she has teeth, she'll be eating steak in no time!") can i not give her steak? surely, she can gum it until she swallows, no?

My boss, a chronic flat-wearer, is baffled by the fact that i wear heels to work almost every single day. well, she's tall. really tall. so, she doesn't NEED to wear heels.
i, on the other hand, suffer from both short-girl syndrome and looking-like-you're-16 syndrome (both real i tell you!!), and need the heels to give me a little height and to make me look like less of a baby.
yesterday she came by my desk and said, "Alicia, later on we are going to make you run in those." causing everyone who was near to burst into hysterics.
i shocked them all by telling them that there are women who not only RUN in heels, but they also aerobicize in them.
yes, it's true.

The class is called Stiletto Strength.

and it is done, well, in your stilettos. (actually, truth be told, only the last 15 minutes is actually done in heels)

Donna Cyrus, a former Broadway dancer and soap-opera actress, came up with the idea for the "Stiletto Strength" class after hearing women complain about the pain they felt from wearing high heels. So she designed a class that focuses on developing strength in the areas of the body that could help women walk in high heels for longer periods of time and without pain.

She says, "A lot of the exercises are what dancers like the Rockettes or people who do Broadway shows do. They have to be in shoes or high heels sometimes for five shows a day."

Christina Sears, 21, another instructor, says the class is focused on tucking in the abdominals, pulling up and holding one's head high while building leg strength. It's also about feeling good about yourself, feeling strong, and promoting great posture.

i don't know. after a day of walking around the office, climbing up and down the three flights of stairs at work, driving carpool, and chasing after my crawling baby, i just want to take my heels off. and walk around with NOTHING on. (well, nothing on my feet....get your minds out of the gutter)
I can't imagine bringing that discomfort into the gym.
yes, heels are sexy. 100%. but heels at the gym are not. sexy at the gym is a new pair of Nikes and some lululemon pants.
I think i'll stick to wearing heels to the office only. but, sorry boss, there won't be any running happening in them.

this morning the kiddies were all in my bed and the husband and i were getting ready for work.
i overheard this:
"Stop it, Emily!"
"Josh. you go to Daddy's side. i want to be on Mommy's side."
"I don't want to be on Daddy's side because he stinks."
"Is that because he sleeps naked?"

bwah.
that was funny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

last night Emily was in her room, playing before bed.
i overheard this:
singing, in tune, "Once upon a lookin' for Donna time, she was a 16 year old Mansion. Oh, Donna, oh oh Donna, oh oh oh, Lookin' for my Donna."
anyone who has ever seen or listened to Hair knows that the word is not Mansion, but Virgin.

bwah.
that was also funny.


my kids are a riot.
i can't get enough of them.

can anyone confirm???

the word on the street is that Entourage star Jeremy Piven has been given the boot.
Ari Gold will no longer be respresenting Vincent Chase.



say it ain't so.
please.
i'm in love with Jeremy Piven and his role as Ari Gold was, well, for lack of a better word, gold.

EDITED TO ADD:
it seems that our Jeremy wasn't fired from Entourage. just from his publicist. or agent. or something. it really doesn't matter. as long as he's still Ari.

my friend Sharon went back to work this week and the first thing they asked her - after coming back from maternity leave with child #3 - was if she was done having kids. if i were a betting man, i'd say she's not, but that's neither here nor there.

everywhere i go people ask me if i'm done. work. my mother. my hairdresser "so...is the factory closed?"
truth? i think so. but how do you really know??
in my mind i guess i always thought we'd have 4 kids. i'm not sure why, but in the jewish world, that seems to be a big number for people. lots have three or five even, few have only 2, but most seem to have 4. the husband once said it's a doubling of the population thing. if every couple has 4 kids, etc.
but, then reality sets in.
~children are expensive. it's a fact. jewish day school? expensive. camp? expensive. clothing? expensive. it's all very expensive. one less child means more money to go around to the three that i already have. i know it seems unfair to not have a child because of money....but, let's be honest, it's a factor.
~i'm terrified of having problems. not that i wouldn't love this child any less. no way. but, i thank god every day for the three gorgeous healthy children that i have and for having three easy pregnancies without complications. is it fair to tempt fate again?? i keep hearing about people who have hard pregnancies. bleeding. miscarriages. losing parts of placentas. placenta previas. holes in hearts. missing kidneys. club feet. now, in many of these cases, things turned out fine and were only scares. but, i'll be honest. i'm scared. i'm really scared. and i wasn't this scared when i had the other three. it's different now. and i can't shake it.
~having children is a lot of work. a lot of work. i don't know if i'm ready to take on another piece of work. he.
~my body. i have issues with it. let's be honest, that's not a secret. being pregnant was really hard on me emotionally and mentally and it was a lot of work to get it back - and i'm not yet down to where i want to be. it would be hard at this point to turn around and do that to my body again. i know it's kind of selfish, but i'm willing to admit it, at least.

so, i'm in a really strange place right now. my family feels full. it feels right.
but, does that mean i won't have another newborn ever again? i won't ever be pregnant...or feel kicking inside...or deliver a baby...or talk about baby names....or breastfeed... it seems to strange to think about that.
so, i guess the "factory" isn't completely closed - no hysterectomies or anything - but for now we are complete.

Anyone in the GTA looking to hire a nanny?
No. I’m not trying to get rid of mine.

The truth is, Jhoanne-y the nanny and I have been on great terms since I went back to work. I think my being home and in her face and the fact that I didn’t know whether or not I would have to let her go put a strain on our relationship. But, with me back at work, and her back at work, things have been pretty great.
Well, minus a few small setbacks….

there is the fact that I’m pretty sure she’s bulimic. Yeah. Pretty sure. you can’t live with someone and NOT know these things. I feel bad for her, that’s the truth. But I’m no longer jealous of her body.

There's the fact that she doesn’t read expiration dates. Usually, I’m good at making sure there’s NOTHING past its prime in the fridge. I won’t touch milk even if it’s like 3 days before the date on the carton, so I would never let my kids drink it. on Thursday I came home and was surprised to see that jhoanne had bought a new carton of milk, since we were out. When I went to look at it, however, I noticed that it wasn’t new. Almost empty, in fact. “Jho, where did you get that milk?” “oh, in the back of the fridge.” Date. April 27th. Holy shit. “jho, did the kids drink it?” “Oh, Emily wouldn’t. but I put chocolate sauce in Joshie’s and he drank the whole thing.” Holy shit. I’m really the worst mother in the world. Thank god he didn’t get sick. April 27th. That’s more than a month.

There’s the fact that she can’t do laundry to save her life. She washed dry clean only things. She doesn’t treat stains and they get set in. she doesn’t iron anything that needs ironing. She shrinks things to baby-sized.

There’s the fact that she doesn’t tell me when we are low on things. Detergents, cleaning supplies…these aren’t the biggest deal. But over the weekend, she failed to let me know we were out of diapers. So, on Sunday morning, we showed up to a birthday party with Isabella in a pull up. it was either a pull up or a little swimmer. We chose the pull up. we tried to stop at shoppers drug mart to buy some diapers, but the party started at 9:30. yes. In the morning. And none of them were open until 10. yes, I’ll say it again. I really am the worst mother in the world.

Anyway, the point is that my nanny is going into business.
The nanny business, actually.
She has got herself a business card and has set herself up with a partner and everything. She's going to bring them over from Hong Kong.
I’m actually happy for her and impressed that she wants to do something like this. she says that she knows what the nannies are looking for and what the employers are looking for. since she's been there. and all her friends have been there. and she's right. she knows more than most agents would.
so, i'm going to try to help her however i can.
and i guess, worst comes to worse, if her business goes really well and she leaves me, she can hook me up with a good nanny (hopefully one without an eating disorder). because now i've got connections...

thus ends the Sopranos season. i have only two words. anti and climactic.
i don't know whether to be disappointed or impressed that The Sopranos dares to be different and leaves us without the typical cliffhanger.
best part of the episode? Dr. Melfi says the "f" word. who knew she had it in her?

Joshua: Mommy? I can see your bum bum and it has a big red circle on it
Me: Joshie, that's a bruise.
Joshua: you mean, like Bruise Wayne?

(okay...seriously...this bruise is hideous. and no, it's not actually my bum. cuz there's no way i would have posted that. it's my hip. and those of you who were at Zimri's birthday party this morning can back me up on this one.
and now it's even more hideous that i've posted a giant-sized photo of it. ick. i may have to take it down. )

okay...seriously...don't hate me...but i think Nicole Richie looks good here. yeah, she's skinny and has NO boobs to speak of (and the area in-between her cleavage is slightly scary and skeletal) but i don't think she looks TOO skinny.