Thirteen of the best movie scenes ever I could probably do 30 of these...but here are 13 of my favorite. not in any order. 1. Say Anything boombox. "In Your Eyes". Llyod Dobbler. Need i say more? 2. Psycho. perhaps the most famous shower scene ever. 3. When Harry Met Sally. the Orgasm. Meg Ryan fakes it like no one's business. But the real climax of the scene? Rob Reiner's mother delivering the line, "I'll have what she's having." 4. On the Waterfront. Marlon Brando signature moment. "I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender," he says. "I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it." 5. A Few Good Men. The courtroom. "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the truth." 6. The Usual Suspects. Having just heard Verbal's testimony, Agent Kujan sits back and takes a look at his noticeboard. His coffee crashes to the floor, and he realises he's been had. 7. Cool Hand Luke. nobody can eat 50 eggs. 8. Gone With the Wind. Rhett's kiss-off to the tearful Scarlett. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" closes the door on a tortured romance and Hollywood's most treasured epic. 9. The Graduate. "Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?" 10. The Godfather. too many to choose from. but, the infamous horse head scene has got to be the best. (i'm sure many will argue). 11. The Big Lebowski. Walter wants to throw Donnie's ashes into the sea, but the wind blows it directly into the Dude's face. 12. Dirty Dancing. Sure, no body puts baby in a corner, but the scene where they are practicing the lift in the water is the movie's best scene by far. so hot. 13. To Kill a Mockingbird. Scout meets Boo Radley. it's Robert Duvall's only scene in the movie, and it only lasts 3 minutes, but it kills me. Scout's "Hey Boo" was just perfect. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Tug 2. Southern Girl 3. Shannon 4. froggie mama 5. Tink 6. Bev 7. Jodi 8. Courtney 9. Mommy the Maid 10. Stephanie 11. Kimmy 12. Jenny Ryan 13. The Pastor's Wife (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

alrighty, since my first post was axed by my husband, you will have to settle for number 2. (which i'm hoping is more like rob lowe in austin powers and not like the other one you were thinking of, sicko...) . and the first post was funny, folks. it was funny. it involved nipple slips and swimming phones. you would have laughed. i promise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the yay:

my computer at work is very ill. i'm not sure if i've ever mentioned this before, since i try to keep work-related things off the blog. but, this must be discussed.
it's either ill or possessed or just very, very depressed.

it turns off on its own. just whenever it feels like it. hmm...my dear friend Ali is mid email, let's shut off on her. nice.
it takes 45 minutes to reboot. no joke. so slow.
i can't have more than one application open at a time, or things freeze. no, i'm not kidding. so let's say i have an excel file open (which i do, at about 99% of the time), i cannot then go over and start to write an email. freeze. and heaven help me if i click on any other tab. freeze. freeze.
if i'm downloading hi-res photos, and i dare try to touch anything else, freeze.
sometimes it has a bit of a seizure on me. the screen starts to shake and everything jumbles together and dances a little. and then? you guessed it. freeze.

so, i complained to my boss. i complained to IT. i complained to just about anyone who will listen. they've come up several times and told me everything was fine. i have one of the newer computers...so i'm low on the priority list.
finally, yesterday, my new best friend came to take a look at it. i left my deal old computer in his hands.
he paid me a visit this morning and told me to save all my things to the shared server....because....baby....i'm getting me a new computer!! woot! (i'm actually not all that big on using the woot!, but this situation was begging for it.)

yay.

the boo:
Emily got her admit-to-class card yesterday. she was put in SK-B. her best friend, however, was put in SK-A. Emily, of course, is devastated. i am acutally not all that upset that they separated them. they are trouble. and together, they are even more trouble. snotty, snobby little things.
the thing is, it seems that Emily got put into a class, not just without her best friend, but really without any of her friends at all. granted, she does have Sarah J., which will make her happy, but that's about it. no hannah, or mia, or haviva. not even the boys she's friends with. poor girl. i'm dying inside for her.
and i'm a little bit pissed off. if they were going to split the snobbies, it should have been an even 3-3 split. not 2 and 4. that's just not fair.
i know she'll be fine. she's a leader. (she's just like Johnny Castle - - - she can lead anybody). she will find followers just about anywhere she goes.
but the thing that irks me is that we were really on the fence between two schools. should we send her to school a, which is really more our speed religiously and academcially, or should we send her to school b, where all her friends are. we chose school b, for better or for worse, because of the friends.
and now she's not even with those friends.

boo.

what about you guys?
got a boo and yay for today to share???


(folks, i'd love to give credit where credit is due, but i can't for the life of me remember where i first saw the boo/yay game. i think it was probably Stacy, but i'm not sure!!)

School starts on Tuesday.
Summer is officially over.
and i must admit. i'm kinda sorta a little bit happy about it.

this may come as a shock to most of you, since i love the summer.
i love almost everything about summer.
the long days that seem to go on forever.
the warmth. not having to wear jackets, and hats, and boots, and gloves, and scarves.
the outdoor sunday barbeques. every week.
the swimming at Jack and Ilana's.
the laid-back attitude at work (not to mention the empty parking lot in the mornings)
the tan. and holy hell, i look about 1000 times better with a tan.
the trips to Canada's Wonderland.
the NOT having to drive carpool.
the park.
the ben and jerry's (for some reason, i'm able to justify this guilty pleasure only in the summer...)


my reason for being happy that summer is ending is two-fold.
a) my kids need to get back into school. back into routine. They've had just about enough freedom, thank you very much. they need to go back to going to bed at 7 (instead of 9). and waking up at 7 (instead of 6:30). they have too much extra energy that just isn't getting used.

b) the turtleneck. i'm totally missing this staple piece of clothing. turtlenecks are my go-to clothing item. seriously. they always look good. on skirts. on jeans. you can dress them up with the right jewellery. you can dress them down. my mother is shocked at how i can pretty much get through winter in a different turtleneck every day (no joke, i have 14 black ones alone. sad, really), because when i was a kid, i refused them. i didn't like anything against my neck. and now i feel naked without it.

what about all of you?
happy that summer's over?
bummed that it flew by so fast?

this must be said. last night was a boring-ass emmy's. boring. as. ass.
but, here's my skinny:

good? tribute to Aaron Spelling. i weeped like a little baby. (yes, you can stop laughing at me right about now.)

more good? a much deserved win for this man:

(please note. his outfit belongs in the BAD, BAD, BAD cetegory. it's a little too thurston howell, III for me...)

even more good?
Conan visiting South Park in his little opening number. loved that.

best dressed Grey's girl:

worst dressed Grey's girl:


bad? Barry Manilow.

more bad? i'm all happy for Mariska Hargitay and her big win and her baby named August and everything...but this award should have gone to Edie Falco.

best line of the night?
Helen Mirren saying, "My great triumph was not falling ass over tit as I walked up here." Brilliant.

second best line of the night?
Julia Louis-Dreyfus saying, "Curse this, baby!"
If you need to ask, that refers to the so-called "Seinfeld" curse

best dressed?






worst dressed?

yes, two major things accomplished this weekend.
a) my daughter no longer looks like the incredible hulk in her just-a-wee-bit too small pajamas.

ah, yes. thanks Old Navy.


b) my other children have shoes for school.

ah, yes. thanks Browns.

after talking her out of the heels, which she so desperately wanted, she agreed to get these adidas.
and yes, that is, in fact, how she went out in public yesterday.
i pick my battles, folks. i pick my battles.

i usually get Drew Barrymore. Sometimes Courteney Cox. and once i got Nina from the Young and the Restless. oh, and remember that time someone told me i look liked Stacy from the Apprentice? yikes.

but this?? holy crap. the first two? models. models! i mean, i know this shit means nothing...but for a girl with a crappy self esteem, getting told that you look like, not one, but two models, is a lovely little ego stroke. a whole hell of a lot nicer than being told you look like Drew Barrymore.




lifted from Magnolia Mom. Thanks!

i'm a thursday thirteen virgin.
so i'm not really sure what i'm doing...

Thirteen Things that are overrated 1. The Black-Eyed Peas 2. Lord of the Rings movies 3. Michal Negrin jewelery. 4. Crocs - only for the operating room and for fishermen. also acceptable for working in the garden and on small children, maybe. 5. chocolate bars that are adding caramel to them. ew. leave well enough alone, please. 6. Citizen Kane. 7. Myspace 8. Zoos. 9. Celebrity Scientologists and Kabbalists. it's enough already. we get it. you're cool. 10. Rachael Ray. 11. M Night Shyamalan. Sixth Sense? great. Unbreakable? great. the rest? not so much. the same stories with the unexpected twists are beginning to get old. but...if you keep putting Joaquin in your movies, i'll still see them. 12. poker . 13. Peg Perego with the exception of the p3, which i have and love to pieces, peg is eye candy. and that's about it. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. http://somethingbabyblue.blogspot.com/ 2. http://tinkerbell-nl.blogspot.com/ 3. http://buttercupandbean.blogspot.com/ 4. http://www.jennyryan.com/ 5. http://danebramage.blogspot.com/ 6. http://carmenhasgonetoplaid.blogspot.com/ 7. http://pinkdiary808.com/ 8. http://magnoliamom.com/ 9. http://www.jodinesmith.blogspot.com/ 10. http://oursillyones.blogspot.com/ (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

mornings at the martells have just gone crazy. like, Tom Cruise jumping on the couch crazy.

my nanny starts at 8, and i leave the house at 8:30. so, the shower, the clothing choice, the dressing, the blow-dry, the make-up application, and the lunch preparation (usually, it's just grabbing a diet pepsi, but something it's more than that) all need to happen before 8:30. it's tight. and when i say tight, i mean, it's not possible to get all of those things done in 30 minutes. not possible.

this week, and for the next little while, the husband is taking the early shift at work. yes, it means that he's home BEFORE 6, which is absolutely FANTABULOUS. but, having him home early means that he has to leave early too. like butt-crack of dawn kind of early.

in theory this should work fine. the bunnies are all usually up around 7ish. give or take 15-20 minutes. they can crawl into bed and watch tv in my room while i shower and get dressed. if i can manage to get all that done by 8, i'm golden.

in reality, it's anything by fine.
* they refuse to watch the same things on tv. Joshie wants cartoons. preferably somethign superhero. Emily wants Family. preferably something she's too young to watch.
* they refuse to share space on my bed. my queen-sized bed should be big enough for my two pint-sized children. kicking, whining, screaming. "Joshie, stop touching me." "Emily, get away from me. you're smelly."
* they refuse to share their sister. they both want to hold her. cue the whines, once again.
* they refuse to hold said sister for more than 3 minutes. which means that she can't stay on the bed. which means she's free to roam around my bedroom. which is like a minefield. and i'm being kind, here. my house is clean. my bedroom is a disaster area. scrapbooking stuff everywhere. blanket stuff everywhere. elliptical trainer ripe for climbing, computer wires and stuff. it's like disneyland for a one-year old.
* they are hungry. starving. "my stomach is starting to eat itself, momma". so, we have to go downstairs. before 8.

and don't you think for a second that when 8 o'clock rolls around i can just disappear into my room on my own and have a blissful 30 minutes to myself to blow dry and put on my face. oh, no. within 30 seconds, Emily's upstairs screaming. Josh's upstairs looking for something.

so, at 8:30, i grab my bags "kiss and a hug first!" walk out the door "Wait, momma, just one more!" and race out the door. breathe a sigh of relief, plug in my ipod, and relax as i drive to work. and usually it's around 9:30 when i start wondering what my bunnies are up to.

(my daughter can certainly pull off a hat better than Britney...don't you think?)

okay, looking at this rootin-tootin' photo, i have a question for you all, and for baby gap. why on earth would you make a sleeper with a collar?? do these people think that i have the time to IRON the collars of my children's sleepwear? do these people think that i even know where my iron is?? There is zero chance that this sucker is going to stay down, so instead is starts to creep up around her face and neck. surely, this can't be comfortable...and it's certainly not fashionable.

we won't talk about the fact that i'm still squeezing my giant baby into sleepers that are 3-6 months in size, even though she's as big as a 2-year-old...i ask you to just turn your head the other way and not judge. please. it's all under control and i have a plan. Wentworth Miller and i have a plan.

THERE'S A PLAN
TO MAKE ALL
OF THIS RIGHT
... .. .. . .. .... ... ... .. ....
.... .. .. . ... . .. .. ... .
.. ... . ... ... . .. .

i'm just fresh out of cranes, so it sort of loses its effect.
(oh, and ps...Haley? i take it back. he's hot. he just has a really annoying hairline.)

every once in a while, i will race out of the house in the morning and forget my cell phone. and then i feel naked all day. anyone who knows me can tell you that i'm NOT a phone person. email, yes, but the phone? not for me. but i like to have it with me. just in case. it's a control thing with me (as most things in my life are...)
so, imagine how i felt yesterday when my internet was down for the entire day.
no email. no blogging. my pictures couldn't make it onto flickr. i even had to resort to looking up a phone number in an actual phone book. (who knew i even had one?)
what's more naked than naked? well...whatever it is, that's what yesterday felt like.
and it wasn't even working this morning because the husband and i got home too late last night (from a night that felt like high school, almost. hi guys - you dared me to work "wall"ing and jack and ilana's shed into my post, but since this is a pg kind of site, okay, pg-13, that's all you're going to get.) to attempt to find the problem.

random bit #1
My friends Becca and Elan were in from Chicago this weekend. I haven't seen them in, like, 3 years. not since she was pregnant with her 2nd, and now she has 3. it's been a long time. but we have long history, those two and i.
They were two of my best friends in high school. and we were roommates in Israel for an entire year.
what's amazing is how there are some people that you can go without seeing for years and years, and then when you get together, you pick off right where you left off. it was so...i don't know...normal. there was no awkwardness. no weirdness.
and i took great, great pleasure in watching our two oldest daughters hit it off like best friends. like they'd known each other for years. like things have come full circle.
but, i wish we lived in the same place. i wish that Emily and Gabrielle could have the chance to be friends the way Becca and I were friends. i wish Becca and I could have the chance to be friends the way we used to.
it was great seeing her. i hope it's not another 3 years. because it's just too damn long.

random bit #2
on Saturday morning he picked an outfit for Emily to wear.
me: honey, this skirt is wool
him: it's what?
me: wool.
him: so
me: as in, winter.
him: yeah
me: and it's August. and this is a polo. doesn't go.

my children have a ridiculous amount of clothing. no, seriously. my mother has a shopping sickness (so, now it's clear where i get it from. see? it's not my fault, it's genetic). They have drawers and closets full of clothing that they don't need, items that still have tags because there aren't enough days in the season to wear them all. they have shearling coats, and burberry dresses, and juicy sweatpants. they have skirts, and shirts, and pants, and dresses, and jumpers, and sweaters. Some are gorgeous. (so gorgeous that they sit in said drawers and closets because i'm too afraid to put them on my kids - who, once dressed, can't stay clean for more than a minute and a half) some are hideous (so hideous that they sit in said drawerd and closets because i'm too afraid to take them out in public in them. note to my mother: just because they are a fancy name brand or come from some chic boutique in Scottsdale, it doesn't mean they are NICE).

Whenever my husband gets the children dressed - which i'll admit, is nice of him to do, since getting three children dressed is never an easy task - he never quite gets it right.
he likes to put them in things that they never wear. yes, dear, there's a reason that they never wear them...
he likes to put together interesting combinations - like a wool $150 skirt with a $15 polo "camp" t-shirt.
he likes to save the good stuff "for best". this is a concept he learned from his father. when you buy nice, new things, you put them away for best and don't wear them.
he likes to put them, my son mostly, in pants that are too short. and there's not much worse than too-short pants. (that's not true. there's nothing worse than pants that are MEANT to be too short for boys, as in capri pants, yikes! who decided that boys should be wearing capris. um. no. i don't think so).
what about all of you? how do your men fare when they dress the kids??

random bit #3
let's discuss this ensemble, shall we?

yesterday i met with the lovely Jen from urbanmoms.ca at Starbucks about a possible blogging opportunity at her site.
I arrived early...mostly because Haley ditched me I overestimated how long i'd be at li'l niblets. So, i pulled up on Yonge street, looking for a parking spot. I was delighted to have found one right across the street.
the sign looked like this:

except it said m-f, 6:00pm-9:00pm. ooh. since it was 6:02, i couldn't believe my luck. perfect spot. so, i get out of the car and go over to the trusty parking machine:

but, alas. it was BLANK. it was just a grey box, nowhere to pay.

what the fuck? could i park there? could i not park there?
was it worth the risk of getting towed?
so, i got back in the car and went around the corner and found a meter.
but, i had no change. so, i drove around again and found a parking lot and paid the $3 dollars to park. hmph.

so, i went in and found Jen. she's gorgeous! and tall! and so super nice!
she bought me a coffee (i'm such a cheap date. i just got a tall. regular coffee. if i'd known she was paying i would have splurged for a latte. and cake. mmmm..cake. relax, i kid. i so wouldn't have)
we talked a little bit about urbanmoms. she had me at hello. i wanted in. this thing is going to be huge. huge, folks. it's going to be fantastic for the canadian mommy network. i'm so excited to be a part of it.
so, as of september 1st, i will be writing a mommy blog on urbanmoms, and i will, of course, harrass you to go over and read it. it doesn't have a name yet...i will be asking for your help on that. the good news is that I Write, Therefore I Blog is going to have its own new design and NEW NAME (do you wanna hear it? do you? drumroll please....Cheaper Than Therapy...don't you just love it???) as of the end of August. The wonderful Ro at Ciao My Bella will be assisting me in this project to get the hell off of blogger and set me up on my own little site. stay tuned for details on this too.

so, keep reading for more details on my new writing gig at urbanmoms.ca.
i will be trying to convince you all that i am a cool chick.
even though i'm a mother.
and i work full time.
and i have three kids.
even if i can't freakin' figure out how to park my car in midtown Toronto.
and if you haven't already been there. go. there. now. and sign up.

oh, and did i mention that Jen gave me free booze? oh, yes, she did.
so i celebrated my new gig by getting hammered off my ass enjoying a nice, refreshing glass of Bailey's on ice.

one of the benefits to having a nanny is that she does things for you.
she does the things you don't want to do (toilets) and the things you just don't have time to do (change the sheets and polish the silver).
there are, however, a few things that i prefer to do myself.
laundry is one these things.

most of my friends look at me in horror when i say that i do laundry (well...to be fair, i load the machines and unload them, and even fold them. but i don't put laundry away. ever. it's like a sickness. i don't unload the dishwasher either.)

i like to pretreat my stains a certain way. and if you've ever met my children, you would realize that proper stain treatment is essential for our survival. in case you're curious, i use a combination of this and this.
i like to use my own systems for how to dry things. certain things get dried for 5 minutes and have to come out and be laid out - in a certain way, of course - immediately. some things get dried halfway, and some things (most for me) get dried the entire way. i like my systems. they work for me.

which is why i have no one to blame but myself for ruining my two favorite shirts.
anyone who knows will easily recognize these two.
they are both from RW&co.
the first is a blue shirt that kind of bunches at the boob area...and has a pesky button that has trouble staying shut.
the second is pink. three shades of pink. i ALWAYS wear it with a black skirt and my favorite shoes. it's my go-to outfit. it fits right in all the right places.

so, i washed the two shirts. put them in the dryer for 5 minutes. took them out and neatly laid them out on top of the washer.
what i didn't realize what that the industrial size tide that i had bought had a spout that was hanging directly over the shirts. drip. drip. drip.
overnight.
i didn't discover them until the morning, when they had this super lovely white crusty spot on them. ew.
so, into the wash they went. i mean, it was just soap, right? it should come right out.

um, yeah, no. giant crusty mark? still there. in all it's taunting glory.
shit.

so, this morning i stood at the sink, desperately trying to scrub the detergent marks out of my two shirts. i left them to dry over my bathtub.
please pray for me.
at least if my nanny did my laundry, i'd have someone to blame.

** come on, you know you LOVE that commercial. and now you'll never get it out of your heads...

so, we punished my son this week.
well, when i say, what i really mean to say is the husband.
I didn't punish him. ever since the whole broke-mommy's-camera-mommy-cuts-up-blanket fiasco, i have punishment issues.

anyway, he was sent to his room for a 3-minute time-out.
when he came down, he looked at the husband. with very angry eyes.
and said:
"You're done. You're fired." (which actually sounded more like, "you'we done. you'we fi-ewed")
complete with hysterical 'it's over' hand gestures.

seriously. my son cracks me up.
and i didn't think it could get any better than the "see ya later, fweeks" line.

******************

Isabella got lots of good toys for her birthday.
the clear favorite has got to be the farm fridge toy.

i think the husband and i are enjoying this toy more than the kids.
it's a mix and match farm animal game.
for example - you put the sheep front on and the horse back on and then it sings this little song:
"a sheep in front, a horse behind, put them together, and what do you find? a sheep-horse! that's silly."
oh...you can see how this would be great fun for two adults who have the minds of 12-year-olds.
and it totally left the door for all sorts of "in front" and "behind" combinations...

bella bella, a-bella, stinky-face, poochie, kitty, booboo, bellaboo, sunshine, goober
my Isabella Rose.
You are 1 today.

i can't even believe it. this year has flown.
and what a little princess you've become.

you are still cue-ball bald, but we can see some little blond hairs popping up. you will have hair, lady!

you are starting to lose that super baby chub that i love to kiss (and bite!) because over the past few months you've become insanely active. up and down the steps, climbing on the fireplace, crawling everywhere, walking your car around the house, and even taking a few steps.

you are starting to talk - you have so many words - mama, dada, emma, baby, bottle, milk, um (food), cheese, yes, no, bye-bye, hotdog (our personal favorite). i love your yes nod when i ask you if you want a bottle, and you say, "a-yah, a-yah" and you shake your bob your head up and down.

you are so adorable in the morning. happy. when i walk in you squeal in delight when i say, "who's the cat? you're the cat. who's the cat? you're the cat" (don't laugh. it's from madagascar, and it's cute)

you are such a happy kid. you only cry when you hurt yourself or you are exhausted tired. and you are always smiling. you love your brother and your sister, and smile your head off when one of them gives you even the tiniest bit of attention.

you love to eat. and eat. and eat. everything that we put in front of you.

you are such an amazing little creature, and i can't wait to see what the next year will bring!!

Tomorrow my baby girl turns one.
last year at this time i was spending 98% of my time bitching that everyone else had already had their august and end of July babies...and i was the ONLY. ONE. STILL. PREGNANT. (except for Becca, who held out longer than I did)

Yesterday, one of my best friends, Tova, and I made a double-header first birthday party for her son Noah, and for my daughter, Isabella, who were born 2 days apart. This isn't the first time the Martell/Posner duo had a joint shindig. Noah and Isabella were both named at a double bris/baby naming at our synogogue. please join us next year for when they turn 2. :)

here are some pictures. please note: i didn't have time to get them all off the camera and i still haven't gotten Tova's pics from the party (which might be better than mine)

Me and the Birthday Girl:

(note to self: Self, must get haircut)

eating side by side:


the biggest. cake. ever.


the mommies and the babies:

(notice the chip in my daughter's hand. she didn't stop eating the entire day. also notice my other daughter - front and center at the cake)

opening presents:

(holy crap, they are cute!)

On Wednesday night, while the husband and I were at a wedding, we left my parents in charge of the children. They took them out for dinner (well, they did leave Isabella at home with Jhoanne because, "Ali, how can i possibly take all three kids out to dinner???" - this coming from a woman who has three kids...but whatever...i'll let that one slide) and then they stopped at Toys R Us. because my mother is into bribery. as are my kids.

my son came home with a superman toy. typical.
my daughter, on the other hand, managed to come home with Whore Barbie.
who, you ask?
you aren't familiar with Whore Barbie? she sits there right on the shelf with Ballerina Barbie and Teacher Barbie and Doctor Barbie. (all three of which would have been GOOD choices).

let me introduce you to whore barbie:


she comes with a face full of lovely make-up:


and a beauty of a belly-button piercing:


and here are her friends:


i'm so glad my mom didn't talk her out of this one. (that was sarcasm..if you couldn't tell)
since all she's spoken about since Wednesday has been the piercings that she wants.
GREAT. just what i needed.

i'm am chronically on time.
personally, i don't think this is a problem.

i hate to be late.
i hate to be early.


i have little tolerance for people who are really late.
(except for Jack and Ilana :) )
well, i take it back. i don't like when people are late when they are meeting me. like at a restaurant or for a movie or something.
it makes it seem like they don't think my time is important.
and then i look like an ass sitting around and waiting by myself.
if i tell someone i'll meet them at, let's say, 4:00. i'm there are 4:01, or 4:03, even 4:05. i wouldn't show up at 4:17. (well...certainly not without a phone call and a really good excuse)
also, i feel like late people, in general, are just poor predictors of how long things actually take.
i remember a friend once said to me, "i just have to pick up my kid, and stop at Sobey's to buy hamburger buns and then get gas. i'll be there in 5 minutes." 5 minutes, my ass. there's no way she could have possibly accomplished even one of those tasks in 5 minutes. so, in my head i just hear, "i'll be there in 35 minutes".

my family, on the other hand, is chronically early.
my husband is chronically early.
always.
drives me BATTY.
flights. dinner reservations. everything.
i've spent my entire life trying to slow people down. telling them to relax.
we don't need to leave to take the kids to camp at 9:15 when it's a 3 minute drive and camp doesn't start until 9:45.
no, Jerry, you don't need to leave at 2:00 for your 3:00 massage, when the place is 15 minutes away.
you can see where i'm going here, right?

on tuesday night we had 7:30 dinner reservations. i thought we should probably leave around 7 and we'd have plenty of time to drive down to eglinton. when i got home from work, my mom suggested that we leave at 5:30.
no, i'm not kidding.
so, i humored her and figured we'd get down there and spend some time at the cute shops down there. there's this store i adore called Oink, Oink. it's really all kinds of adorable.
what i didn't know, however, was that the stores on Eglinton close at 6. so, we got there about 3 minutes before everything closed, with an hour and a half to kill before dinner.
we parked our butts at starbucks and spent over an hour there. waiting.

i spend a lot of time waiting. waiting for people who are late.
and waiting with people who are early.

there were about 7,000 pictures taken yesterday. and there were at least a couple of good ones. the uploading process is taking longer than expected because last night we hit a little bit of a hurdle.

we went over to Jack and Ilana's so I could help Ilana with her basket fundraiser and so the husband could help Jack play FIFA on xbox. we weren't there for more than 10 minutes when we get a panicked phone call from my mother.
"Isabella was crying. she was hysterical. so i took her out of her crib and then she threw up all over me. and i couldn't get her to calm down so i went and gave her to Jhoanne. and now your daughter hates me."
there are three major issues here.
a) she didn't throw up. she's sick and has a bad cold and because she was screaming she choked and spit up some phlegm. she didn't "throw up all over her"
b) she WOKE up jhoanne. there were three grown adults in the house and not one of them know how to deal with a crying baby so they went downstairs and woke up my sleeping nanny, who was off duty. i can just die from this (how on earth did i make it out alive???!!!)
c) "your daughter hates me" - is she 12 years old? hates her? did she seriously say that?

while you ponder this...i'll leave you with a super cute shot of Isabella post-attack.

are y'all still in shock over my serious friday post? no worries, folks, it was but a momentary lapse and i will head straight back into the important things, like poop and my lard ass and celebrities.

i'm off today, for Simcoe Day (what the fuck is Simcoe day, you ask? who the heck knows, or cares, for that matter, since it's a day off of work, and that's all that Canadians really care about...), and we in the Martell household are gonna party like it's 1999. seriously. we are having the first of Isabella's countless birthday celebrations (brace yourself, people, the porker is almost 1!). this one is for family only, and the Opps, since they are pretty much.

my parents are here. i can't remember if i discussed my anxiety about it. but, so far, despite the 4 pounds i've gained in the last 3 days, and the fact that the husband and i are NOT on speaking terms, this has been the best trip with my mother yet. yes, i realize that i'm jumping the gun and they are here until thursday and it's only monday...but this is big people. it's been three days and we are not at each others' throats. big. big like Star Jones pre-surgery big.

if you're a mamablogger, chances are good that you've seen this article.

I think it's great that Helen Kirwan-Taylor feels comfortable enough to be brutally honest with her audience and let her "dirty little secret" out of the bag. i'm sure there are many mothers reading, nodding their heads, and saying, "thank you" i'm glad you spoke up for me. and i'm sure there are mothers blasting her. how could she??!! what a horrible mother.

i guess i fall somewhere in between.

I believe in a "kids first, me second" approach to parenting. This, in a nutshell, means that yes, i do, in fact, make some time for myself to do things with my friends or with my husband or all alone, but at the end of the day, the KIDS COME FIRST. The ones who are probably blasting Helen for her thoughts are those who believe in a "kids only" approach. their kids are their lives - 100% of the time.

It seems that Helen, however, believes in a "me only" appraoch to parenting, which comes across as being selfish.

I agree that there are parts of parenting that are less than glamorous, or exciting. there are the school plays, and recitals, and struggling at dinnertime, and having to watch the wiggles over and over and over (when all i really want to watch is oprah) and trips to the park, and playing barbies, and reading bedtime stories, and carpool, and birthday parties.

but, folks, these are things that you KNOW come with the territory when you have kids. When you have children, you are saying that you realize that you are putting their needs in front of your own. why have kids at all if you are just going to hire a nanny to do all of those things?

i do, however, feel that putting your chidren's needs in front of yours does not mean that you are required to be down-and-dirty on the floor, with your children, 24 hours a day. i think some "me" time is necessary for a mother's sanity. i don't see anything wrong with taking some time to yourself to grocery shop in peace without having to worry about your children running off, or grabbing things, or the constant, "i want this! i want this!" and i don't see anything wrong with saying no when your son asks you to read the 400 page Shrek book for the 40th time in a week.

There are times when i wonder if i'm less of a mother because i work, or because i don't play polly pockets (i do not. on principle. but i play barbies, and many other less than thrilling 5-year-old games with my daughter) or because i allow my children to have fun at the park and run wild and free. but, the older i get, and the older my children get, i realize that this makes me a better mother. without the "me" time, i was overwhelmed and tired and frustrated (but certainly not bored....) most of the time, and didn't get to appreciate how much fun my kids are and how much i enjoy being around them and spending time with them.

PS - this is why i need to get off blogger. i've been trying to post this ALL freakin' morning.

well, if Nelly Furtado has crazy horse teeth and stringy hair in real life, then i saw her yesterday at the Starbucks at Yonge and Centre. I could have sworn it was her. anyway, i had ample time to stare and glare since the person i was meeting didn't show up. (don't worry...i'll forgive you this once. but, i skipped a waxing appointment to see you)

anyway, while i was sitting in starbucks, looking slightly ass-y because i was occupying a table for more than 40 minutes and not drinking anything, i got to thinking about today's post, which, is both a desperate plea for help, and a little contest for all of you. i promise there will be a prize. and who doesn't like prizes??!!!

so, (i know Stephanie, you hate sentences that start with so, but it's a sickness, i have, really) here's the deal.
i'm getting my blog the hell off of blogger. i realize that i should have done this ages ago, but, well, i've been lazy. and also, blogger doesn't take much work. anyone can use it.
so, (again), i'm moving it from blogger to wordpress. i know, i'm officially becoming a grown-up, and going to be hosted by dreamhost (because Becca recommended them, and her blog advice i take as gospel), and going to be getting a site re-design.

here's my dilemma. i can't come up with any ideas for what i want to do.
i've been so sick of "I Write, Therefore I Blog." i was stuck when i started this thing soooo long ago. way back in 2004. i'm also getting sick of the lady at the chair. her hands? what the hell is up with her hands? is she some sort of mutant? is she a burn victim? a podperson?

the husband came up with an idea that i like. "Memoirs of Alicia" and do something simple and japanes-y like. i kind of like this idea...but i've always felt that i'm Ali, and not Alicia. do i really want Alicia in the title?? is going a japanes-y route totally un-Ali??

so, here's my plea.
i need an idea. a title (and subtitle, perhaps) and some thoughts on what to do.
if i like yours best, you'll get credit, and a special prize. and i promise, it will be a good one :) so...off you go...you find me an idea. and thanks in advance.

last night my inlaws took us to see Spamalot.
It was really sweet of them to take us. We used to have a theater subscription, and i loved that fact that with it, we were forced to have a night out 6 times a year. sure, some of the plays were shitty Canadian productions (forced to fill the Canadian content), but some of them were great. i miss it.

but, i had qualms about going. for 2 reasons.
the play is supposed to be based on Monty Python's Holy Grail, a movie i could barely sit through. yes, yes, i am a Monty Python fan. I loved Life of Brian, and often find myself quoting it. "There's no messiah in here. There's a mess alright but no messiah. Now go away!"
i totally get the British humor too. I love Fawlty Towers. Love it.
but Holy Grail? i just didn't find funny. to be fair, we only watched the first 30 minutes, and did enjoy when the french guy called the British guys "pig-dogs"
so, i was nervous that i was going to HATE the play.

the second reason is that i'm sick. my little cold turned into some nasty sinus thing (could possibly be an infection). most of the day i feel like i'm walking in a bubble. i can't hear. my head feels like it's about to explode. and i can't stop blowing my nose. we're talking about one a minute here. and yesterday, on a day that was 100 degress without the humidity, i had a fever. a fever. i had sweats and chills and sweats and chills. i should have been home in my bed.

but, i really didn't want to disappoint my inlaws. it was really sweet of them to buy us tickets. how could i cancel at the last minute?

so, i dragged my sick ass over to their place and we drove down together. i sat in the backseat, praying that i wouldn't pass out. then we went to this resutaruant for dinner. my inlaws rave about this place. vegetarian haven. it's a vegan place that they eat at all the time.
i was shocked at how low-class this place was. not low-class, i guess. just not was i was expecting. dirty silverware. nad service. sticky tabletops. warm water in PLASTIC cups. (plastic is a HUGE no-no for me). but alas, they liked it, so i sucked it up, thanked the lord i had a xanax handy in case of panic attack. the truth is, i couldn't really eat my meal anyway. i can't taste anything these days and just was feeling too crappy to eat. so i didn't.

the play was actually much better than i expected. yes, i did have myself a little nap during part of the show (it was really only about 15 minutes...and i had a freakin' fever folks. i think i am allowed a little latitude here), but the part i saw was quite funny. i did get to hear my pig-dog line, and they stole "always look on the bright side of life" and there was a funny head-butt in the chest (world cup reference) line that i laughed out loud at, ooh..and a little "it's hard out here for a pimp" line.

in the end, i'm glad i went.
but tonight? my ass will be in bed at 8pm. you make book on that missy. (movie? anyone?)

My 5-year-old, on principle, dislikes anything that her younger brother likes.
First it was Dora. Emily was WAY into Dora. She loved her. Worshipped her. She learned to count in Spanish, she sang all the songs, and played along with the TV.
When Joshua began to show an interest in Dora, Emily lost her interest before he made it through his first episode.
"Dora is sooo for nursery kids, Mommy. Don't you know?"
To Emily, Dora, the Wiggles, Backyardigans and Diego are "baby shows"
She's into all the family channel shows, like Zack and Cody, and Zoey 101, and that Mary Kate and Ashley show from when they were tweens (so little time, maybe?). As far as she's concerned, the only cartoon worth watching is Arthur. maybe. and it has to be a good episode.

but every once in a while, when she doesn't think we're looking, we'll catch her in the act. yelling to Dora that she needs to take the asul path and not the amarillo. waving her hands like wags the dog. singing right along to the backyardigans.

so even though she's so stubborn and doesn't like the "baby shows," at the end of the day, she's just a kid at heart. makes me smile, though, since i've always felt like she was such an old soul. an 18-year-old trapped in the body of a 5-year-old (or really of a 3-year-old, because she's so tiny). i like when i see her acting like a kid.