Winning in 4 of the top categories - movie, director (Clint Eastwood, leaving a heartbroken Scorsese 0-5 in this category), best actress (Hilary Swank...um. duh), and best supporting actor (Morgan Freeman), it was Million Dollar Baby's night last night.

At first i was worried that I hosted a beading night at my house ON OSCAR NIGHT. what was i thinking? surely it was social suicide! and i wouldn't get Holylwood's biggest night. aha. but, alas, i have tivo. and got to watch the entire telecast in about 25 minutes. IT WAS FANTASTIC.

I must say, i was a bit skeptical about Chris Rock hosting the Oscars. i was going to miss Billy Crystal's opening movie montage. but, dare i say it, Chris Rock was FUNNY! i enjoyed him. He did push the envelope a little too far when he said Tom CRuise was a real star and Jude Law was not. Excuse me??? Jude Law is three times the star Tom Cruise is!!!

and what was with not allowing the lowly winners in categories we don't care about to even come up on stage??? hello? and forcing some of the nominees to stand behind the presenter? what was that all about?

I was a little disappointed that Natalie Portman didn't win best supporting actress - and by the way, she looked GORGEOUS - but i thought Cate Blanchett deserved it.

Sideshow Bob made a surprise apprearance last night when at the last minute Adam Duritz failed to show up to sing, "Accidentally in Love."

Sideways wins best adapted screenplay. and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind wins best original screenplay.

Jamie Foxx wins best actor. Not surprising. after all, he played a blind person (and if you remember, oscar loves the disability). he gave a touching speech. i cried. i'll admit it. but, i'm pregnant. When he said that his grandmother talks to him in his dreams, and he can't wait to go to sleep tonight. ah. sobbed like a school-girl.

ha! who caught the woman who said her award was the "dog's bollocks." ha! she didn't get censored. stupid americans.

BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT:
"The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost," Rock said. He recalled the year when Halle Berry won and fellow nominee "Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, if you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl."

WHO LOOKED GOOD:
~~Hilary Swank. not my style of dress. but, she looked awesome. usually she looks all masculine and horsey, but i was way impressed.
~~Natalie Portman. stunning.
~~Halle Berry. awful dress. gorgeous hair and face. as usual.
~~Kate Winslet
~~Cate Blachette, sure she needed a tan, but she looked great
~~Annette Bening. fantastic. she looks so good.
~~Emmy Rossum. she looked good. as always.

WHO LOOKED LIKE CRAP:
~~Renee Zellweger
~~Johnny Depp. ouch.
~~Gisele Bundchen. what was with the muumuu, girl?
~~Drew Barrymore. black and blech.

i'm having the worst day...and it's only 9:22. not a good sign, I'd say.

This morning the girl was super attached and starting wailing when i left her in my bed to go take a shower. she gave me nothing but grief all morning about wanting treats and wanting me to bead with her. Finally, at 8, i raced upstairs to get ready for work, but as i was walking up the stairs, the boy woke up.

so, i had to go get him out of his room, change him and get him his milk. so, i didn't get into my room until 8:20 - which didn't leave me much time to get dressed, blow my hair dry and put on my make-up before 8:40, when i needed to leave the house.

when i came down at 8:35 (with make-up bag in hand...didn't have time) the girl was wearing her jacket and hat, but she was wearing a skirt - AND NO TIGHTS. What on earth was my nanny thinking. it's below 0 outside !!! and, she had a big pink hair pony in her hair, but she was wearing a red shirt. and jhoanne didn't even brush her hair (she had slept in that pony).

so, six minutes later we raced out of the house, only to find that the husband left for work with one of my carseats. grrr. so, i was already late, and now i had to deal with this.

so, i moved Emily's seat to one of the sides and put her in the middle without a carseat, because i'd rather it be my kid without one, since it was my fault that i didn't have it. so i had to figure out how to fit these giant Diamond kids into my small carseats.

Needless to say we were late for school, and got the furthest spot in the lot. terrific.

so, i finally got to work, applied my make-up in the parking lot, praying that no one saw me. got to my desk and realized that a file that i'd sent from my home computer didn't show up. great. i needed it today...grrrr....

and i forgot my lunch.

so, yeah, it's going to be a winner of a day...i can already tell...

i've developed this little pot. i'm thrilled to pieces about it. for the past two days i've been looking at it in the mirror incessantly. but i think it might be in my head. because to the layman i still just look fat.

i've only gained 6 1/2 pounds so far, which i think is pretty respectable, but why, then, do i look like an absolute lard-ass?

oh, yeah, and Haley telling me every day that "you're totally getting bigger! You're so big!" is not helping, even though she thinks she's being nice!

i've been having insane cravings. up until last saturday night, it was sushi, sushi, sushi, it was the only thing i wanted to eat.
Now, it's chocolate popsicles. not to be confused with fudgesicles. these are regular popsicles with chocolate flavor. yum.
and bananas. i can't get enough of them.
and peppers. but only the yellow and orange ones.
mmm. and special K carbfit (and no, it's not just because there's a free Stott Pilates dvd in it...although that was a definite bonus)

and this was a really weird one. i turned to the husband and said, "do you remember that time that sharon made a pickled corned beef thing?" i think i'd really like to eat that. i swear, it was almost a year ago. it was the weirdest thing.

So, yesterday, i finished my workout and went to get changed in the locker room. I had to ask a completely naked woman to move so i could get to my locker. In an instant, I realized two very important things about this woman. She was not COMPLETELY naked. she was wearing skin colored pants, that were pulled up to just below her naked breasts and she was clipping her toenails onto the floor.

CLIPPING HER FREAKIN' TOENAILS, people!

now, i ask you, is there locker room etiquette? an unwritten list of things that are appropriate and things that are so revolting that they should NOT be done in a public place????

well, there should be.

Survivor - aka "Ta ta Ashlee and your ginormous ta tas!"

okay, so i'm kind of glad for Angie that she proved herself useful on the tribe, but dude, the armpit hair? had i seen that in episode one, i would have given her hairy ass the boot. the girl needs to find some clothing, quickly.

and okay, i like Katie, but why the hell couldn't she swing on the rope? heck, even i can do that!!!

and Janu, the glasses? did you steal them from Freddy (of Freddy and Kendra fame)?

I heart Ian.

anyone else notice Bobby Jon's total freak-out during the reward challenge? it scared the heck out of me.


Apprentice - aka bring on the “mad props” and the “bling-bling”

what a big 'ole waste of my time. boring episode.

best line: “I played video games. I went to college.” - yeah, that says a lot...

and sweetie...demeaningful is NOT a word. i'll put it in my Apprentice mangled English dictionary, right up there with "Uma Thurma."

Stephanie's "Will work for shoes" t-shirt? I want it!

ha! Bren being the stunt-double for orville redenbacher. i love it!

anyone else catch the "trump rollin' in" rap. hilarious.


OC - aka "Eu-freakin-reka!"

this might just be as good as it gets, folks. Lindsay's leaving (yay), Summer and Seth (aw), and Sandy takes the high road.

Marissa: "You have my cell in case Caleb kicks and you need help counting your cash."

Summer: "You haven't seen hostile until you put me in one."

Alex: "Seth, are you here to fight crime?"

Julie: "Yeah, well I'll see your husband's fugitive ex-flame and raised you a lesbian daughter."

boys II men and oasis in the same episode. that might beat Ryan's "Open Arms" make-out session.

i loved this episode.

so, this morning i took the girl to her classroom to drop her off.
she turns to me and says, totally bright-eyed:
"Mommy! Guess what i have in my cubby?? A fire bush."

I about died laughing.

"Kids are like pancakes: You ruin the first one; you get better with the second; and by the third one, you flip it over just at the right time."

There are many things that i've learned to do differently with my second child. he lost his paci at 15 months (while his sister got to keep hers until 3), he goes to bed at night with one song (while his sister makes us read her a story and sing her 10 songs....and fill up her water...and get her blanket that she left downstairs...), he gets dessert only after he actually eats something for dinner (we're not even going to talk about what Emily gets...), he wears what we tell him to wear (while his sister puts up a fit every morning until we let her out of the house wearing whatever she wants...and by "we" i mean "me"), he sits in the stroller when we want him to (while his sister whines and complains until we let her walk). are you sensing a pattern here???

All in all, the boy is so much easier than the girl. and i'm not sure that it's because of his nature, or because i've learned from the first experience what NOT to do. it's the whole nature vs. nurture debate.

I think that all first born girls are put on this earth to test their mothers and to drive them insane. The girl certainly does a good job of that. she knows exactly which buttons on me to push. she knows how to turn on the whine, the cry, the scream, and the screech when it's appropriate to get her what she wants.

it's funny though, because she's amazing for everyone but me. people say to me, "Emily's such a doll. she's so bright. she's always so polite and sweet." and my first reaction is, "My Emily? Sweet? polite? are you sure we are talking about the same girl?" she seems to save all this explosive energy for me. from the time in walk in the door in the afternoon until bedtime, i struggle with her.

"Mommy, i'm hungry."
"Okay, how bout a banana."
"No. I want a treat."
"Emily, it's 5:00. im' not giving you a treat."
"I want a treat."
"I said no. Let's find something else."
"I WANT A TREAT!"
"No."
"I WANT A TREAT!I WANT A TREAT!"

and this is where i begin to lose it. and i've only been home for 3 minutes...

if Kelly Ripa is right, the first is just a lost cause, you seem to get it almost right with the second, and you just get it right with the third one. I can only hope and pray that she's right. I don't think i could handle another Emily.

i'm shocked to see that Janay made it through. who the heck voted for her???

but, i'm not at all upset about the 4 who got eliminated. i enjoyed Melinda's deer- caught-in-headlights total confusion when she got eliminted. and why did Ryan torture an entire row of people, just to blurt out, "Judd, you're gone." that was an ass-y move.

but, honestly, who didn't think it was Joseph being eliminted? i mean, even he was peeing in his pants. pairing him off against Anwar? whatever.

and what was the deal with leaving Constantine standing there? Is Seacrest losing it?

anyone know where this song is originally from??



has anyone actually seen this movie?

i'd heard that this movie was banned in the United States. This is actually untrue. But, since it's theatrical debut in 1986, it has never been released again, on vhs or dvd, most likely because of the negative feedback they had been receiving in regards to Song of the South's reputation as being a "racial" film.

the 1946 Disney film was based on the "Uncle Remus" stories of Joel Chandler Harris. Harris spent a lifetime compiling and publishing the tales told to him by former slaves. Harris's Uncle Remus was a fictitious old slave and philosopher who told entertaining fables about Br'er Rabbit and other creatures in a Southern Black dialect.

Song of the South consists of animated sequences featuring Uncle Remus characters such as Br'er Rabbit, Br'er Fox, and Br'er Bear, framed by live-action portions in which Uncle Remus tells the stories to a little white boy. The film has been criticized both for "making slavery appear pleasant" and "pretending slavery didn't exist", even though the film (like Harris' original collection of stories) is set after the Civil War and the abolition of slavery.

The NAACP acknowledged "the remarkable artistic merit" of the film when it was first released, but decried "the impression it gives of an idyllic master-slave relationship". Perhaps lost in all the controversy over the film is the fact that James Baskett, a Black man, was the very first live actor ever hired by Disney. Allegedly, though, Baskett was unable to attend the film's premiere in Atlanta because no hotel would give him a room.

I would LOVE to get my hands on a copy of this!

yesterday i was talking with my friend about the OC. i found it adorbable that she kept referring to Adam Brody as her pretend boyfriend. She then told me that she has two PCB's - pretend celebrity boyfriends - Adam Brody and Luke Wilson. i was like, "only 2? i have about 20!" so, she dared me to come up with 20. and i'm always up for a dare...so here goes (in no particular order....and please...no judging...):

Jared Leto
Josh Duhamel
Cameron Mathison
Jacob Young
Brad Pitt
Paul Walker
Thad Luckinbill
Chad Michael Murray
Jeremy Piven
Jude Law
Ed Norton
Ewan McGreggor
Josh Hartnett
Eric Stoltz
Justin Timberlake
Joaquin Phoenix
Shane West
Jeff Probst
Zach Braff
Matthew McConaughey

there are good things to come out of nanny accidents.

Granted, nothing good (except maybe a new stroller - but we will have to pay for it) will come out of Jhoanne breaking our stroller (how the heck do you break a peg perego...i thought they were indestructible...), but when she first started working for us, she flooded the washing machine, damaging the hardwood outside our laundry room. The insurance company came to give us a quote to replace the entire flooring - the entire foyer area and the dining room.

we opted to replace just the area in front of the laundry room, the laundry room and bathroom with tile, get two new lighting fixtures, carpet in the living room (thanks Devora...we love it), and new blinds in the dining/living room and the kitchen, instead of ripping up the entire hardwood.

I must say, I'm thoroughly pleased with our decision. Our house looks so much better now. It's amazing how something as minute as a blind can change the way an entire room looks.

the goods:
Carrie Underwood - love her. even if she did sing tiffany.
Nadia Turner - she was rockin' last night.
Mikalah - i admit the babs/fram drescher vibe is slightly grating, but there's something about her i love
Aloha - i hate to say it, but she was pretty good. and, might i add, i HATE beyonce...

the mehs:
Sarah Mather - feh. she reminds me of the noxzema girl (you know, the one who married Dylan on 90210), but she was weird and clumsy last night.
Vonzell - definitely not her best. flat and more flat. but she's a mailman who wears mismatched shoes. i still like her.
Jessica - she was okay. can't say i'm loving the lingerie...
Amanda - she might be pretty, but her singing was pretty bad.

the bads:
Janay - her shaking was utterly disturbing. as was her singing.
Celena - blandy blandy bland bland. and it did help that you followed Nadia.
Lindsay - a little less self-fondling next time, sweetheart.
Melinda - um. no sweetheart. buh-bye.
Simon - -- wanting to be Amanda's microphone?! i don't even get it...



and did anyone else catch Constantine's hair flip-slash-take half my jacket off when they introduced the "dawg pound" ? what was up with that?
and why does Paula always tell everyone that they look so pretty?

The American Idol finalists are not as unfamiliar with the spotlight as the show would like us to believe. Sure, we all know about Nikko/Ozzie Smith being the son of baseball famer Ozzie Smith. But, did you know that:

~~ Amanda Avila, 23, sung, and lost, on a January 2003 episode of CBS' now defunct Star Search revival. She's also a onetime backup singer for Smokey Robinson and a pal of Josh Groban.
~~ Another Star Search vet is Nadia Turner, 28, from Miami. She appeared on the show in January 2004, winning a preliminary round before losing to the season's eventual champ.
~~ In 2000, Celena Rae, was crowned winner of the syndicated show Your Big Break, which encouraged contestants to mimic singers more famous than themselves.
~~ Constantine Maroulis, 29, also is a working actor. He's toured the world in Rent last year, and appeared in productions of Hedwig & the Angry Inch and Macbeth.
~~ Bo Bice, 29, from Alabama, has opened for Warrant, and performed and recorded with Allman Brothers Band keyboardist Johnny Neal.
~~ Joseph Murina, 26, from Smithtown, New York, was crowned "Long Island Idol" by a Long Island radio station in 2003. He's also done Showtime at the Apollo.
~~ Vonzell Solomon, 20, released her first album/demo, My Struggle, which, in an cringe-worthy coincidence, bears the same title as Hitler's autobiography.

_______________________________________

Last night, on the Bachelorette tell-all special, Fabrice denied that he was gay. Shortly after someone obnoxiously asked if he looked at other men in the shower, Fabrice responded defensively, saying, "I'm not going to f**k a woman on stage to prove I'm not gay." And then, when Josh told Fabrice that he almost vomited watching him try to suck face with Jen, Fabrice responded with, "Try imagining my tongue down YOUR throat!'" No, he's not gay at all. not at all.

They announced that the next Bachelor (i think it's number 7) will be Charlie O'Connell.

I mistakely thought this was Trista's runner-up from the Bachelorette, but i was wrong. Charlie O'Connell is the less famous brother of Jerry O'Connell, who is currently dating Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (is she still going by Stamos these days?)

or maybe Emily was just in Montreal...

okay, so for two days in a row, the boy slept until 10 am. NO! this is NOT a typo. 10 o'clock. we couldn't believe it. it was like being in the twilight zone or something. I am so used to my children being awake before 7 in the morning, that when i got up to pee and realized it was 9:50, and the boy still wasn't awake, i had to do a triple-take at my clock.

i realized, however, that my days of sleeping in were short-lived. not because the boy isn't capable of sleeping in, but because the girl was away for those two days. hmmm...it's all making sense now. she manages to wake him up, EVERY SINGLE MORNING, hours before he's ready. yes, she's THAT noisy. the poor thing. he must be so tired all day.

so, now Emily's back and things are back to normal. the days of sleeping in are now but a mere memory...

very short and sweet recap, since this damn show will be on three times this week...
the goods:
Nikko (ozzie) Smith - he was good. i dig him.
Anwar - i love this guy - and not only because he sang a song from Breakfast at Tiffanys.
David Brown - i hope he stays until the next round. he sucked tonight with his safe song, but he can really sing.
Mario - not bad. a little flamboyant for my tastes.
the mehs:
Scott Savol - good voice, scary-ass personality.
Bo Bice - yeah, he was good, but he's in serious need of a make-over
Constanine - i can't look past his weird double chin to see anything else.
Judd - he's entertaining. he won't go far.
the bads:
Jared Yates - no honey, you suck. in a Marc Anthony type of way. ew.
Anthony Federov - he was dull, dull, dull. don't sing Richard Marx again. ever. please.
Travis Tucker - they don't know how to stay away from the RPB's - for the layman, that's Really Pretty Ballads. did they not listen the last 3 seasons?
Joseph Murena - no. and no. yuck.

1. When you buy a greetings card are the words or the picture more important to you? um, the words, i think.
2. What's your favourite kind of cake? i like bakery sheet cakes the best. people think i'm crazy.
3. Do you ever make gifts for people, if so what, or do you buy them? i've made scrapbooks for people before...but mostly i buy my gifts.
4. What's your favourite holiday? Thanksgiving
5. Are you going on holiday this year? If so, where? i don't think visiting my parents counts as going on holiday....i won't be going anywhere anyway until i lose this baby weight.
6. What was the best party you've ever been to? hmmm...i have no idea. but it was probably in high school. and it was probably at the kleins.
7. If you are married, describe your wedding. If not, what would your ideal wedding be like? don't know where to even begin with this one...
8. What's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you? most romantic? probably when my husband proposed, i guess.
9. What's your favourite romantic song? "When you say nothing at all", and "at last" by Etta James
10. Which celebrity would you like a dream date with? Jude Law
11. Which female celebrity do you find beautiful? Vanessa Marcil
12. Which male celebrity do you think is attractive? Jude Law
13. If you could be a fictional character from a book who would you choose? Georgia Nicolson from the Louise Rennison novels...:)
14. If you could be in a television sit-com, which would you choose? Scrubs or Wonder Years or Growing Pains or Cosby Show...
15. What is your best character trait? i'm a really good listener.

i heard a rumor of a Hilary Swank SNL mini nipple-gate, but nothing has yet to be confirmed. as of now, it's only rumor. did anyone catch this???

but, no, folks, the real news is that Paris Hilton's beloved T-mobile Sidekick was hacked, which means that this morning, all of her celebrity phone numbers (including the likes of Eminem, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Andy Roddick, Ashlee Simpson, Victoria Gotti, Vin Diesel, Anna Kournikova and many others) and some of her cam-pics are floating around the internet.



and here, for your viewing pleasure, a sampling from the notebook part of her Sidekick:

· tell ken about jess trying to bone JT
· Do you wanna leave soon, ill pretend I hsve 2 go pee and u wait 3 mins than come by yourself to the back entrance
· Victor magic tan representative.
· that’s hot tank tops like chrome hearts iold english writinh that’s hot
· call maroon 5 get birth control kill pill
· And what conversation might that be bitch?
What do you think kristen
Did she learn her lesson?
Welsome back to gamma?
I think gamsy wants a little kiss
Its a gamma tradition
Gamsy is waiting

since Patty was "outed" in Springfield, I didn't think we'd get another good outing this week. but i was wrong! Andrew is gay! Andrew is gay! ha! did anyone else notice that his hair looked more like a helmet than actual hair? What's with all these teens on the show? with the exception of Miguel (aka John the gardener) all the other teens on the show are downright ugly. think about it. Zack. Julie. Danielle. Andrew. My gosh. Couldn't they have gotten a better looking cast?

Oh lordy, lordy, do i love Bree. Ronald Reagan? i love that. and i even had some love for Rex, too. "You can take away his penis, but he'll still try to have sex"

Lynette made me really angry. I'm glad that she feels some sort of remorse for sabotaging her husband's promotion. what a beeyotch. and i haven't really liked Tom very much but i did enjoy his play-by-play announcements at the softball game. cute.

Zack is still heavy into giving out the heeby-jeeby vibes. ew.

and something about the way Susan took a dive into the grass had me in stiches. i just couldn't stop giggling.

best line of the night: "But you're president of the Abstinence Club!" "I wasn't planning on running for a second term."

~~Private investigator Ernie Rizzo, who was hired by the family of the boy who accused Jackson of molestation in 1993, has seen photographs of Jackson's genitals taken by cops in 1993, and he claims that because Jackson "bleaches" his body twice a week, distinctive markings on his penis are visible when he is aroused.

"It looks like a barber's pole," Rizzo tells PAGE SIX. "That's exactly what it looks like. The first kid and all the other kids who have seen his penis know that there are brown circles around it.

"If the second kid is allowed to testify, this will come into question," Rizzo predicts. "Jackson doesn't have [the skin-whitening disease] vitiligo. Debbie Rowe got him the bleach — she used to work for the dermatologist . . . There has never been any dermatologist who has come forward on his behalf to say he has vitiligo."

Needless to say, Jackson's spokeswoman had no comment. And all I can say is - (a very Summer on the OC-type)Ewwwwww!!!

~~ and what's a day without a new Mary-Kate photo:


~~and the funniest news of the week (lifted from low culture)

If Brandon Davis swallowed girlfriend Mischa Barton whole...


he'd probably look a lot like his older brother Jason.

~~ recognize this woman?

she's Tara, from team Net Worth on the Apprentice. She is also dating Matt Dillon.

Q1: Which is a bigger waste of time in your life... being stuck in traffic or being placed on hold during telephone calls? Which do you find more annoying?
this may be a toss-up. i really hate to sit in traffic, but as long as i'm not late to where i'm supposed to be, it's not all that bad. after all, i have the radio. i guess it's a different story if my kids are in the car.

Q2: The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) recently rejected a petition from a consumer group asking that product placements on TV be clearly labeled as such. The FTC said that the use of products by characters in fictional television shows or contestants on reality TV shows like American Idol or The Apprentice does not constitute an objective claim to the quality of the product being shown on screen. What do you think... have the lines become blurred on this one? Should television shows be barred from using overt product placements, or should they at least be made to disclose these sorts of practices before, during, or after (in the credits) the shows in question?
product placements in movies and tv shows don't really bother me. i always tend to point out when i see it, though.

Q3: With just about every business under the sun now accepting bank check cards and debit cards, do you find that you carry more, less, or the same amount of cash as you did 5 or 10 years ago?
i NEVER have any cash on me. and i tend to get really angry when i go somewhere that doesn't take VISA or bank cards - or places that have a $10 minimum to use cards. i hate that!

Q4: What's the last song you downloaded from the Internet? If you've never downloaded music, what's the last CD you bought at a store or received as a gift?
the last song i downloaded was Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

The OC

oh, Seth. "I'm more of a fan of open ended unrequited love." i really wish that the two of them would just hook up already. how long are we going to do this "I'm over you/okay good" dance?
Lindsay's beginning to annoy the hell out of me. but, i did like her telling Caleb to go to hell! woo hoo.
and i'm almost embarrassed to say that Julie Cooper was my favorite this episode. she was downright evil, and she was perfect at it. and i liked Lindsay's line: "We should put up garlic in case she comes back."

The Apprentice

Well, Magna took the easy answer, massages and manicures, and Net Worth took a gamble on something i didn't think was going to work, but it paid off for them. and i must say, i was smiling.
"Uma Thurma"? did i hear that right?
best line of the night-The Donald to Erin: "Man, you are really good at feeding me lines of crap."
Michael was a good fire. he deserved it. i mean, come on, what an ass! "I only date Eastern European women." and "Seriously...if you're ever in Boston.."
i'm loving Craig. i honestly didn't know who he was until he put on the tiara.
i find this season mildly entertaining, but i don't think that any one of these people deserves to be the last man or woman standing. they just aren't good enough.

Survivor Palau

so much to say, so much to say.
let's take a moment to thank the survivor gods for getting rid of the "singing lunatic" Wanda as early as possible. i'm not sure i would have been able to sit through any more of her survivor ditties.
but, now let's take a moment to ponder why-oh-why was HotJonathan not picked?? Sure, he jumped off the boat, but that didn't stop people from choosing Stephenie (yes, it's with an e...). poor guy. When will they learn to keep the eye candy on this show?
i loved keeping the two teams on the same beach. they should have kept that up for at least a few more episodes.
and why...let me ask you...if there's a possibility that you may get thrown off the boat (since it's been done before), why wouldn't you wear comfortable clothing? jeans, stilettos, and dresses should have been a no-no.
i've got the official Coby-hate going on. he was instrumental is getting Jonathan kicked off, so i already hate him (he acted all Ami-like...argh). and he backstabbed Angie. plus, the pink mini-skirt doesn't do him any favors.
and Angie, dearie, are you listening? the bra? um, oy vey.
okay, i'll admit it. i have a little geek-crush on Ian.
i'm also feeling the Tom love: “a few people tried to wrangle me into getting the fire. That’s a loser job.” even though he is a FIREFIGHTER...

i think i'm going to like this season!

Okay...so, my ultrasound is scheduled for March 14th.
And the question on the table is...do we or don't we find out the sex?

we didn't find out with the boy or the girl, but this time around i'm really anxious to know. after all, i've already had the "it's a girl" surprise and the "it's a boy" surprise...so why not have the ultrasound surprise??

today i'm having fun with gender predictors.
according to chinesefortunecalendar.com, i'm having a BOY.
according to the labor of love chinese lunar calendar, i'm having a GIRL.
according to motherhood.com, i'm having a GIRL.
According to the Old Wives Tale test #1, i have an 80% chance of having a GIRL.
and according to the Old Wives Tale test #2, i have a 67% chance of having a GIRL.

what do ya'll think i'm having??

to be honest, the husband and i will be happy with whatever i have. my daughter, on the other hand, would be thrilled to have a sister. she's already told several of our friends that she's "done with brothers" and that she's planning to throw it in the garbage if it's a boy. fabulous. just fabulous.

so, last week Howie tells me that his friend can smell redheads.
i know what you're thinking. what the heck does this mean, he can smell redheads???

Apparently, he claims that redheads (not the auburn ones...but the super white- skinned, freckly ones) have a musty, dank-basement-like smell. He thought he was crazy. Until he met someone else who claimed the EXACT SAME THING. so, he began to investigate. could there be some truth to this phenomenon? are there others out there who can smell the red?

after some extensive research, i realized that it's not fabricated. there may be some validity to this absurdity.

Alain Corbin, in The Foul and The Fragrant (1986), writes of nineteenth century France:
"Oddly, medical discourse concerned itself little with the specific relation of smell to temperament, the color of hair, or complexion. The odor peculiar to irascible personalities and the smell of redheads were noted, but without emphasis, as if they were self evident."
He later adds, "redheads were always pungent, both putrid and fascinating, as if their cycle had broken down and put them in a continuous state of menstruation."

Also, there's a movie out there called The Distinct Smell of Red.
In the movie, the character Vernon states, "Normally I don't go for women with red hair. They tend to have a peculiar smell, you know? It's hard to define, but in the back of your mind you know something's not right. I don't want to say it's a bad odor, just different."

anyone out there who can smell redheads? or know anyone who can? anyone who has ever heard about this? i'm curious...

so i think American Idol is on 3 times next week. ah! they are letting this show take over my life!

I can't say i'm surprised by the 24 who made it. there are a few who i still don't know who they are, though.

Obsourne Smith (aka Ozzie Smith, Jr.) is now Nikko Smith. WTF? i guess he doesn't want people to associate him with his dad, Ozzie. on a clever side note: "Nikko" was the name of the chief flying monkey in "The Wizard of Oz". Brilliant wordplay or brilliant irony?

I was SHOCKED that Jaclyn Crumb didn't make it - i thought she was a given.

I don't know. i just can't get on the Mikalah hate-train with the rest of the world. there's something about her that i love. she's got personality. she'll go far, mostly because Simon wants to nail her.

~~~ could this kid look any more like his father? how unfortunate...


~~~ guess the celeb...


~~~is it just me, or do Fergie and Kirstie Alley have the exact same face now?? You think she went in to the plastic surgeon and said, "give me the fat actress please?"

hits:
~David Brown - love him. as soon as i saw what room he was in, i knew they were safe :)
~Buh-bye Chipmunk Ai'shia. see ya later...
~Buh-bye Larry Ellis. get over yourself, honey.
~Tammy. Wynette. Nash. Best American Idol name yet.

misses:
~Jaclyn's pink underwear peep show. completely unnecessary.
~Paula's b-rate acting skills.
~Scott Savol is still super creepy.
~Anthony Federov should have done another song. but i love him anyway.

Smile on Your Brother...



Way back at the beginning of January, Sheryl at papernakin declared an official De-lurking Day. This day is a special day celebrating lurkers, and exhorting you to muster the strength and bravery to click on that comment button and end the deafening silence.

Well, i know you are out there. I have this little sitemeter that tells me exactly how many people are visiting my blog each day. So, even though it's been over a month since the original De-lurking Day, i'm declaring it today!!!!

so..please...leave me a comment today. (no, i'm not too proud to indulge in some comment whoring). you can just say hi. or tell me how much you love me. or how much you hate me. or what you are eating for lunch today.

we all need a little something to make us feel better about putting on some pregnancy weight. i'll take pleasure in these recent photos of Britney Spears...



see more here.

Jen needs some glasses. She called John Paul hot. What? Am i missing something here? Sure, he's got some good things going for him - he's got a cute southern accent and he's self-employed, but good looking certainly is not something that poor John Paul is. and i think this needs to be said. there is something wrong with the way his upper lip DOES NOT MOVE when he talks. it's disturbing. and he needs to go home to Oklahoma.

I honestly thought she was going to send Jerry home. I'm glad that she didn't. at least she's keeping a little eye candy around for us... and am i the only one who thinks the guy is pretty genuine? just because he's super hot, doesn't mean he's just a "player"

there's one thing i don't really understand. they built up this "shocking" thing at the rose ceremony. Jen gets a few minutes alone with each of the men. how exactly is this shocking? isn't this the way the rose ceremonies always go?



okay...come on...how can she pick Lippy Mcboring over Jerry??!!!
and what happened to the oh-so-sexy black bra straps that were hanging out of her dress?

the first day that you style your new haircut can be very frightening.
i mean, sure, a new haircut ALWAYS looks good in the salon. even a bad haircut looks decent when you leave the place. After all, your stylist is a professional. if she can't make your hair look awesome, she may as well hang up her scissors and flat iron.

So, this morning i was very very nervous. my hair has been very easy to style for the last few years. i used my brand new bumble and bumble thickening shampoo. ah..i highly recommend. And i pulled out everything - my two round brushes, my paddle brush, my hair dryer, my comb, and my flat iron. After about 40 minutes, i looked at my finished product.

not bad! yay. it semi-resembles how it looked when i left Donato's. it's going to be a good day, i tell you. Even if i had to apply my make-up in the car on the way to work because i didn't think my hair was going to take that long...

oooh...we are finally getting somewhere on this show... hooray for forward momentum!
Angela vs. Mary Alice? what's the story there?
Mike and the jewelery? yikes!

of course, once again, Bree shines as my favorite housewife. not sure which line i liked better....both had me peeing in my pants...
"We're, uh, W.A.S.P.s, Dr. Goldfine. Not acknowledging the elephant in the room is what we do best." or

"Hmmm. How about Palestine?"

Gabrielle proves to be a bitch, once again.
Lynette proves to be incompetent, once again
and
Susan proves to not know how to apporpriately dress herself. again. oh, and she has a clumsy scene. again.

wow. today was a highly productive day for me.
at 8:15 this morning i was downtown at the US consulate filing a consular report of birth abroad for my two kids. apparently, if you claim their US citizenship and file taxes in the US, the government will give you money. so, we figure since we want them to have the citizenship anyway, why not give it a try? if we get free money, hey, it's free money, and if we don't, we lose nothing.

I also visited my OB for a short, but sweet, 15 week appointment. Everything with the baby is good, it was nice to hear the hearbeat, and i've gained a total of 6 1/4 pounds (with my boots on, mind you) according to the offical Rosenthal scale. not bad for 15 weeks.

I also got my hair CHOPPED. You hear that? cut completely off. my colorist told me that i was drowning in so much hair, and that i'm such a little girl that i need something new and fresh. so, i went for the "sex kitten" cut. i'm not 100% sold, but i've gotten nothing but compliments on it (even from the receptionist at my OB's office!) - so i think it's starting to grow on me. but i feel naked somehow.

Last night, when i took my contacts out, i had forgotten that an hour before i had cut up a jalapeno pepper. i thought i was going to go blind, the sting was so bad.

and here we are, more than 12 hours later, and my eyes are BURNING. what was i thinking putting those contacts back in this morning??? i guess i was asking for it.

that make me want to lose my lunch.

the first. In Fort Lauderdale, a woman saw a young couple toss a bundle of their car window. She stopped to check it out, and realized it was a newborn baby. you can read the story here. There are some seriously sick people in this world.

the second. not as serious. but nasty, nonetheless. Drew Barrymore. 'nuff said.

are you surprised??
i actually barely got to watch my shows because i was cooking all evening.


OC
Sandy, oh Sandy. The right choice would have been a goodbye to Rebecca on the phone, and a nice romantic Valentine's Day dinner with Kirsten. and that kiss can only be bad for the Cohens.

poor Seth. "Yeah, I'm okay, I'm just having an allergic reaction to the universe." The chemistry between summer and seth is awesome. it's about time someone has some chemistry because...let's see...ryan and lindsay - nope, seth and alex - nope, summer and zach - nada, marissa and alex - once again...no.

best line of the night: Julie: "When I was in Europe, I did some soul-searching..."
Marissa: "I hope you didn't hurt yourself." - bwah.

the color of money scene with Ryan and Caleb. meh. didn't do it for me. when did Ryan become so lame?

bring back Jimmy please!




Apprentice

all righty, folks. listen here, John is a ticking-time bomb with anger issues, but he is not a homosexual. you hear that, Mr. Trump? "I'm not a homosexual." but, clearly, a homophobe.

what can i say? both teams sucked ass this week. i'm not sure which is worse - soft-core porn or all-out nastiness?

The Donald was right to fire Kirsten. She was a bee-yotch from the beginning and she needed to be fired. Trump is 4 for 4 in my books. am i the only one who thinks that John looks way too much like Vince Vaughan?

the funny thing is that had either team just staying in the box and gone for something that took place...um...i don't know...IN A SHOWER perhaps...when this stuff is actually used...they would have won.

1)You've found yourself a rather obedient genie in a bottle. Make your three wishes.

oh, this is tough. okay, here goes. 1) money. enough money that i will not have to worry about it. ever. i don't need to live extravagently, but i'd like to be able to send my kids to Jewish day school, to drive a 7 passenger SUV... 2) health. for all members of my family. for all time. 3) mind-reading ability.

2)Cookie dough, brownie mix, cake batter or the finished products?

okay, i'm a huge cookie dough person. i could - no joke - eat the entire batch of dough before it even gets baked. but, then again, i LOVE cookies, so i'm into the finished product as well. i'm not a cake batter or brownie mix kind of girl, really.

3)What color ink pen do you like best? Do you have a favorite brand/style of pen?

definitely blue. i CAN'T write with black ink. it bugs me for some reason. i used to favor just the plain old paper-mate pens, but i'm not too particular, as long as the ink comes out dark enough - some pens write too lightly for me.

4)Where and when was your first kiss?

in my garage. it was the summer before 7th grade. his name was Benji.

okay. so, am i allowed to give up something for Lent even though I'm Jewish?? I think it's a fantastic concept - - I'd love to give up dessert (save for the frozen yogurt i'm allowed to have after each OB check-up). so, you heard it here first. Ali's giving up the desserts.

i've now gained close to 6 pounds - all of which seems to be settling in these ginormous basoomas that i've acquired and have no clue what to do with. I will be hitting the bra store today to do something about it. yikes. they are massive.

i'm also now entering the in-between-y, awkward stage. Most pregnant women visit this stage for 3, maybe 4 weeks at the longest. i will be stopping here, oh, until i'm about 7 months pregnant. great. it's the stage where your clothing no longer fits you, but you are way way too small to wear maternity. to humor myself, i stopped by Old Navy and tried on the xs maternity jeans. while certainly comfortable, as i walked towards the mirror in the dressing room, they fell to the floor. yes, it will be a LONG time before i'll be able to wear those.

so, i'm resigned to buying bigger sizes, making me look fat, and not pregnant. why can't i have one of those awesome pregnancy bodies where you pop this amazing belly at 8 weeks and look adorable in maternity clothes? instead, i'm blessed with the full-body pregnancy. i carry my babies everywhere but my belly it seems. in my chest, in my ass, in my thighs...you name it. but stomach? what stomach? i've got flab, sure, but no baby to speak of.

i think i need to get a t-shirt made. "I'm not fat. I'm pregnant."

...


out doing what she does best...drinking coffee and scaring the locals...

..goes to none other than Nick Lachey:

In an interview with Maxim Radio, Nick was asked what he thought of his wife Jessica's new dog, and he replied "She's spoiled and fat. That's right, spoiled and fat...just like its mom!" Classic!

why does this have to be so difficult?
the school needs a sign up sheet - you write down what you need out of carpool and then they match up people who should carpool together...

finding a carpool is seriously the bane of my existence.

i think that the school is completely insensitive to people who have to work.
a) you have to drop your child off at 9:00am - so, ultimately, you WILL be late for work - no ifs ands or buts.
b) you have to pick up your child at 12:00pm - so, unless you are taking your lunch hour off to drive your kid home from school, you are at the mercy of a non-working mom.

argh. help me.

~ there really was a nipplegate part #2 at the superbowl this year...and no, it wasn't Paul McCartney. It was, in fact, a playboy bunny...you can check it out here, until someone takes it down..

~ a desperate housewife comes out of the closet! my money would have been on Felicity Huffman, personally...

~ The "Aristocrats" takes Sundance by storm. What's the deal? i've been hearing all sorts of rumors about "the dirtiest joke ever." so...here's what i've found out:

Turns out, "The Aristocrats" is a joke nearly as old as comedy itself. It's well known among those who make a living in comedy, and even presents itself in public from time to time -- Gilbert Gottfried apparently unleashed his own version of the joke at a Friars Club roast a while back, stunning the audience, but sending his fellow comedians on the dais into a fit of tear-soaked, howling-with-laughter hysteria, partly I guess because even at the bawdy Friars Club, no one had ever thought (or had the guts -- or gall) to go there before.

The joke always begins with a family walking into the office of a talent agency, and ends with the punchline "the Aristocrats!" The aim apparently is for the joke teller to fill in the middle by putting various members of the family into the most offensive sex acts and images the mind can conjure. Each joke-teller brands the joke with his own filth. The more tasteless, the better.

In the movie, Kevin Pollack told the joke imitating Christopher Walken. Hank Azaria did it in a Russian accent. Andy Richter told the joke to his infant son who was wearing a Santa suit (the baby too young to understand a word). Billy the Mime acted out the joke on a boardwalk. Eric Idle did an English riff. Merrill Markoe an artistic take. Mario Cantone went for gay Italian. Richard Lewis neurotic. Judy Gold, who was pregnant at the time, did hers with pregnant people. Robin Williams wore sunglasses and did his version on the beach, while Drew Carey did his on the set (off air, of course) of his TV sitcom.

One version involved the Amish. Another, starfish. Very, very friendly starfish. There were kazoos. Hitler in a Frederick's of Hollywood getup. Midgets. Card tricks. A trapeze. Sweet Moses, they worked in the Olsen twins.

As George Carlin describes it the film, "The Aristocrats" is "the Tourette's syndrome of jokes."

that i saw this man at the gym on Monday. he had chin length blond hair, but i'm quite sure it was him.



good thing i was wearing my "i heart huckabees" t-shirt. :)

Well, fine...neither of my favorites - Kris and Jon or Adam and Rebecca won. But, at least it wasn't Aaron and Hayden. I'm actually kind of happy that she quit. And it doesn't surprise me at all that Freddy and Kendra won. at all.

things i loved:
~when Hayden made the baby cry
~when Rebecca told the cab driver that Adam had three testicles!
~Kris and Jon in the cab "CAN YOU PLEASE FETCH ME SOME WATER"
~the WTF look on Adam's face when Aaron proposed....i think we were all thinking the same thing (even though Devora and i were crying...)
~Adam jumped out of a plane and didn't give a shout out to his mother

things that annoyed me:
~Freddy's glasses....why does he have two pairs? Maybe his 500k can afford him something a little less buddy holly and a little more 2005.
~Kris and Jon getting on the American flight
~have you ever heard so much complaining about eating pizza? "Is it soy cheese?" "I hate tomatoes!"
~the freakin' train in their way to the finish line. i mean, what the hell?
~"He is definitely worthy of having my babies." ?!?!?!?!?!?! looks like Kendra wil be doing a little "breeding" of her own...
~Freddy and Kendra calling Adam and Rebecca "The little ones."

until march 1st, when we get to watch rob and ambuh take a stab at the amazing race, check out Jon's bar website :)

to my brother Jonathan. it's his 30th today.

Happy Birthday :)

Ha! Something to make you laugh... Hayden's, of Hayden and Aaron fame, full name is Hayden Kristianson....not to be confused with Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies....Hayden Christensen.

Bettie Boop


Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
brought to you by Quizilla


lifted from House of Snark. Thanks, i needed this after getting bullied this morning...

let me preface with the fact that everyone hates me at the photocopier. it's more often than not that i'm in there photocopying an entire book (the most tedious of tasks...one that requires me to individually photocopy each page...), so usually, because i'm so thoughtful, i let people go ahead of me.

This morning, however, i decided that letting 3 people go in front of me was enough. had i let the two other women who were standing and waiting go in front of me, it would have been complete and total anarchy. i would have been standing there all day.

one of the women asks if the two of them can go ahead of me...and i made a hmph sound, and without making eye contact said, "I guess." not in a rude way, mind you, but not in the nicest, most pleasant of ways either.

one of them got so angry, threw her arms up in the air and starting talking to herself. i was nervous that she was going to start throwing things. AND she IS about 4 times my size.

so, i took a stand, and didn't let myself be bullied by the photocopy bullies....but why do i feel so bad now???

yes, I'll admit it.
and i'm only slightly embarrassed about it...

Okay. first, she goes to meet John Paul's family in the country. and she's even got the boots to prove it. I don't know...there's something about JP that i can't handle...possibly it's the fact that his lips DO NO MOVE when he talks. or maybe it's the odd way he fills his light-coloured 80's style jeans. but, his family was the best of the four. at least in Jen's eyes because they like sports.

Then, we're off to Oregon, to meet Ryan's family. I couldn't help but snicker when all they talked about was their trip to Thailand. and i couldn't help but laugh out loud when they kept panning to poor Jen who was bored out of her mind. How dare they not talk only about HER?!!

Next, Jen went to Chicago to meet an entire family of Wendells. (cue the arrested development...c'mon, you know you're singing...mr. wendell...) scary. and not only did they all look and talk like Wendells....they were DRUNK Wendells (you know i just keep saying Wendell because the name makes me laugh). three sheets to the wind. the whole lot of them.

and then we're off to hottie's...um, i mean Jerry's...hometown of Rochester. Okay, i'm sorry, but why are they even trying to add drama before the commercials. if you weren't in love with Jerry before, you certainly fell in love when he got all nervous and clammy about the secret he was hiding....dum, dum, dum dum....his mother is deaf. aw. okay...who's jumping on the Jerry bandwagon, now? huh? shame on you for thinking he was just a player.

tune in next week when Jen sends JP packing.

the girl scout cookie.
oh, yet another delicacy that they don't have in Canada. Surprise, surprise.
oh, how i miss my thin mints, caramel delites...shortbread...peanut butter patties...peanut butter sandwich...mmmm...





someone..please...help out a desperate pregnant woman!!

...it's people who are late.
late people are telling you, in a sense, that your time is not important. at least, not as important as their time.

there are two kinds of late people:
a) the first are the people who do not understand the concept of how long it takes to do things. I have friends who will call me up and say, "okay, so i have to stop at Sobey's to pick up something, then i have to drop my kids at my inlaws and then get gas, so i'll be at your house in 5 minutes." um, five minutes? i know that it will take this person 5 minutes just to get the kids into the car, let alone get groceries and gas.

b) then there are the people who just live on their own clocks. if a party starts at 7, no problem, let's get there for 8:45. if a movie starts at 8, no biggie, we'll get there at 8:05, because the people (the on-time people) we are seeing the movie with will be there 40 minutes early to save us seats.

well...there was no repeat nipplegate (only a fairly - okay, i'll admit it - decent performance by Paul McCartney...the man is so old, and he can still sing like he did in his 20's...and thank the lord he sang good songs...not the wings crap i thought he was going to..), no surprise on the MVP Deion Branch (who tied the super bowl record for 11 receptions), but it was an awesome superbowl because i won $40!!

i mean, it was completely random - but because on our little grid i had 4 for NE and 1 for Philly, i won the $40 pot. yay.

Thanks, Uri, for allowing me to crash your all-male party and eat your man-ribs. Come on, you know it was much more fun with me there. and next year i may even get in the shvitz...:) Okay, so i ruffled a few feathers and upset some wives - well, only one in particular, but she'll get over it.

yesterday, i got to go to Emily's dance school to "view" what she was learning. I was so impressed. my daughter has poise! she has discipline! she's coordinated! It's all thanks to a man named Jacques. I sat in awe as i watched my daughter walk backwards on tiptoes across a thin line that was the whole length of the room. i am not sure that i could even do that. it was amazing to watch her intense concentration.

and, as a mother, it was a fantastic day. this other mother turns to me and says, "your daughter is so good! she's so coordinated." I blushed, said thanks, and told her that it DIDN'T come from me :)

there are some poor girls in her class, though, that don't know their toes from their elbows. I couldn't help but snicker a little bit when these girls attempted to do the exercises.

my gorgeous niece...

"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown

Four for Friday will be back next week. this week, enjoy this:

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

the OC

~ lovin' Lindsey - “Right. ‘Cuz there’s no music in Chino.” Best. Shout-out. Ever.

~ okay. mixed feelings about Sir Sandy. the good - he told Rebecca he had "two sons" without any explanation. love that. aw. the bad - he is harboring a fugitive and he lied to Kirsten. !!

~ Major Summer and Seth chemistry. loved that. "Bobble-head geek with a size 27 waist"

~ woot. Marissa and her magic flask. this comic book idea may not be as dorky as i'd thought...

~ Seth uses the force to answer the phone. way too much star wars reference in this episode...they should have gotten Mark Hamill to guest star.


the Apprentice

Verna...oh Verna. what. a. dumbass. there's just nothing more to say about that...Chris is a loon. Michael's an ass. Danny's a bigger ass (hello? bringing an exempt guy into the boardroom...can we say 'sealing your own fate?'). Erin's a scary Elvira (she needs to be shaved bald...). Three weeks in a row Donald Trump gets it right. this may turn into a good season after all (even though i don't think there's a single person qualified to actually win this thing...but it should be entertaining...)

anyone catch that the rapping nanny was none other than comedian Chris Wylde (of Comedy Central's canceled The Chris Wylde Show).

You can check out his audition video here. he's the one who's rapping.

last night my kids were eating cheerios in my family room. a big no-no in our house - the children are NOT supposed to eat in this room, but my hubby and i were both too tired to deal with them. of course, because my children spill EVERYTHING, they both knocked over their bowls of cheeries. G asked them to clean it up and Emily stands up says, "Joshie, come and clean up the cheerios! no excusements!"

so adorable.

for heaven's sake, Britney, please spare us the post-coital frolic on the balcony. and please...please...cover yourself.

...men.

my husband, god bless him, just got back from Vegas.
i tried to cut him some slack while he was away and not be the whiney wife who complains and nags about all her problems (i'm pregnant, i feel like arse, i have a cold, the girl has scarlet fever, the boy is out of control, and i haven't slept in 4 nights...)

so, when he got home i was expecting nothing less than full-on TLC.
what i got was...."honey, i'm sick."

he's the sick one. he stayed home today. granted, i believe him. i am sure that he's not feeling well. but it's just so typical...

and i asked him to drive carpool for me. i didn't think it was a big deal - he was stying home anyway - he didn't even need to get out of his pajamas. but, it would have allowed me to be on time for work for the first time since september...and carpool is the one thing about my day that drives me mental. i can't handle it. he would have been helping me tremendously by doing one tiny little thing. but no.

so now i've got 3 babies at home. at least when he was in vegas i only had 2....

Well, the first trimester is technically over and we move into the second. i don't really feel like it's over.

when i found out i was pregnant i became completely determined to do it differently this third (and who knows...possibly last) time around. i will NOT give in to every food temptation. i will NOT be a lump for 9 months and only exercise in the last month to induce labor. i will drink lots and lots of water. i will take my prenatal horsepill. i will drink lots and lots of milk.

well...let's see what i've been sticking to...i've gained 3.5 pounds. not bad, considering with Emily and Joshie i gained close to 10 in the first trimester. see, for me, the only way to combat all-day sickness was to eat. actually, with joshie there was no excuse, because i didn't feel sick. it's just because in my regular life, i diet and watch every ounce of food that goes into my mouth, pregnancy was a chance to eat whatever i wanted, whenever. and i did. so, this time, i'm eating to not feel sick, but i'm eating pretty healthily. trying not to give in to the crazy carb cravings. seriously, if i ate pasta for three meals a day, i'd be a happy, happy woman.

i AM exercising. visiting the gym about 3 times per week. not bad. not bad. big pat on the back for myself.

i am not drinking enough. there. i said it. every drink makes me want to hurl my guts out. i am now able to finally drink water again - but it has to be completely ICE cold.

i can not take my pill every day. i just can't. it makes me so sick. and just trying to get that sucker down is such torture. i don't take the smallest of pills easily - and it's such a cruel trick of nature that when my gag reflex is on the fritz (aka pregnancy) i have to take these pills that are the size of quarters. i'm trying. i really am.

ix-nay on the ilk-may. saturday mornings i can get a bowl of cereal into my stomach. barely. i'm hoping once the sickness subsides, i'll be able to drink more milk. until then, i'll just have to pretend.

come on, you know you want to.
all the cool kids are doing it.

check it out.

you won't be sorry.

In completely unsurprising news, Punxsutawney Phil has spoken, and the news isn’t good.
The world’s most famous furry forecaster saw his shadow today on Gobbler’s Knob, suggesting another six weeks of wintry weather. fabulous.

Amazing Race

unsurprising non-elimination leg, since they always go into the 2-hour season finale with 4....so, there wasn't too much suspense...although i did love seeing all the taxi problems. and when Jon called his cab driver "homes," my love for him grew leaps and bounds.

Kendra and the ghetto, once again. she needs to lose that word. it will make her a much prettier person.

something about Rebecca and her "chinese food in China is just food" and "Sean Penn and Madonna in Shanghai Surprise" made her think she's too much like me...since those are two incredibly dorky things that i TOTALLY would have said. i'm glad they weren' philinated last night.

Hayden hiding behind the bush had me in stiches. but i still can't stand her.

at this point, i'd be okay with any of the teams winning, which will make for a good finale. my money's on Freddy and Kendra, though.

Bachelorette

i waited so patiently for "Fabrice's SHOCKING announcement"...Here it comes....wait for it, wait for it... Fabrice told Jen he doesn't want to marry her... wait for it... he said he doesn't feel any passion....that Jen's not the right woman for him... okay, wait for it...and then he told her...that he wanted to leave.... and then he left. And I'm still waiting. And we're all still waiting. What. the. hell.

where was the "i'm gay." or "I'm actually an actor." or "i can't believe i fooled you enough to keep me around to the final 6"???? hello? we all know the truth!

i did like that the winners letters were read out loud to all the guys. ha!

Ben goes home. not surpising. what was he still doing there anyway?

American Idol

Paula: "have you ever seen me this upset?" Simon: "yes."
BETTER than James Brown? methinks not.

Barbie girl had such a good voice, but the unfortunate resemblance to Michael Moore didn't do her any favors. but, she took it so well. i was impressed. and it made me fall in love with LL Cool J.

Tracheotomy Boy (aka Clay jr.)- what can i say? i loved him.

Vonzelle - loved her voice. but the shoes? i mean, honestly? what was she thinking? i couldn't decide which to wear?

OMG - could this be the best gift ever????


i also got an abercrombie t-shirt and some bath and body works...not too shabby...
it's not a honda pilot, but it will have to do :) just kidding... i love them!!

(and you were right, zvi, it's totally bloggable!)

Jackie Stallone says that her son, Sylvester, was born "deformed" and doctors didn't expect him to live to reach adulthood.

She said: "During the delivery to speed things up, they grabbed these ice-picks [forceps] and yanked the baby out paralysing his whole head and face and part of his body. His body was so deformed it was pathetic.

"The doctors told me 'He's so crippled you ought to put him away.' But I decided he was going to walk, he was going to talk."

She explained: "Since that day Sylvester has come a long way. His face and throat are still paralysed and when he speaks he speaks strangely, like this: 'Helloo, hoow are yoouu?' He stares at you and speaks with his eyes. And nobody can say that for someone born so handicapped getting to where he has is anything short of a great triumph for Sylvester."

i. can't. stop. laughing.

Movies have become affordable again.
woot!
Famous Players has decided to lower its prices to $9.95 in all of its Ontario Theaters.

Sharon had heard about this rumor and we tested it out last night. it's true!!!

who wants to see a movie Saturday night?????

"You're Fired." (no hand motion allowed...apparently Mr. Trump's had it patented)



who do you want your body to look like? Recovering anorexic Mary-Kate Olsen? Yes, those are encouraging words for today's teen.