Feast Eighty-Seven

Appetizer
Name 3 things that you think are strange.

1) people who think that stoplights are the perfect location for nose-picking.
2) kimmel in rye bread. why, people, why?
3) people who wear socks and sandals

Soup
What was the last ceremony you attended?

the husband's first cousin just got married. we went to that ceremony.

Salad
What is one lesson you have learned in the past year?

sometimes you CAN get what you wish for. i wanted a big roly poly baby. and guess what? after having two chicken babies....i got my wish! she's so delicious and fat!

Main Course
Tell us about one of your childhood memories.

just one? here's one that always sticks out in my mind. when i was about 12, we went on a family trip to LA. we were staying in the Beverly Hills Hotel (which we thought was beyond cool) and my sister, my brother and i decided to have a "who can dance the roger rabbit better?" contest. in the front lobby. and just as we were about to award Jonathan the blue ribbon, we got asked to leave the hotel. actually asked to leave!!

Dessert
If you could extend any of the four seasons to be twice as long as normal, which season would you want to lengthen?

summer!! i love summer!

False Advertising AKA Survivor

~~um, yeah, that was the worst "a survivor might have to leave the game" advertising ever! oh, boo hoo....Bruce gets a knife in his lip...
~~I think if Terry was going to give away the immunity idol, he should have done it this week, gotten Shane the ass kicked off, and then swayed Bruce over to their side. now they're down 6-3, they have no chance. the immunity idol won't help at this point. the rules of the immunity idol say that the person with the next most votes would have gone home. if he gave it to Nick, or lost the immunity challenge on purpose, Shane would have been given the boot. i think it's safe to say that Terry completely just gave up his shot at winning this game.
~~what the heck was Nick's speech all about? i'll miss looking at Nick. that sure was fun.
~~even though it was obvious who voted for Shane, i loved Jeff reading all four of Shane's votes first, just to see the look on his face and watch him squirm.

"Well, now aren't you Veronica Mars?" AKA OC

~~I love happy Ryan. Especially at breakfast, when Seth goes, "Dad, Ryan just smiled." Happy Ryan is super hot.
~~could i love Summer any more? she seriously rocks every scene that she's in. "Grow up, get over yourself, and take a shower." and "Oh, you're just the saddest girl in the world!" and "Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper-Roberts"
~~Marissa turns coke addict is so very Kelly Taylor, but i'm loving bad-girl Marissa without Ryan there to save her.
~~love love loved Seth and Summer: "I have a six pack" "Those are your ribs!"
~~love love loved Seth and Kirsten.
~~he! Julie and the Philipino maid.
~~Wait a sec? Did Seth just say "touch my pooper?" he did, didn't he? ew.

i lost an important photo at work, and the hi-res photos of salmon don't seem to be hi-res enough for the design team...picky, picky...so i have to do some serious damage control. under that's fixed...enjoy this real cute picture of the girl and her best friend...and some random cinderella. too cute!

my goodness...they seriously make me want to vomit.
ew.

~~I loathe Lake and Michelle – the “southern jerkoffs” apparently, Lake doesn’t “do the internet” but he would hold the “clicker” for Michelle…
~~I loved the “bowling moms’ t-shirts. The hippies rock my world.
~~I was funny expecting a non-elimination leg. Buh-bye pinks. And I love that Phil called them out for being skanks. They deserved to be philiminated for the mere fact that they didn’t know how to drive stick. How on earth can you apply for TAR without knowing how to drive stick?? Come on..what season are we in?
~~Sure…Monica…you aren’t a dumb blonde…"Pul-err-mo"? "Palomino"? "Pal-mo"? (I had a big ole’ flash of Bolo…)
~~Fran and barry miss the clue box. Again.
~~Ha! "It's one of Phil's turtlenecks!" I’m sorry, I really just can’t help but love the slackers. And phil can rock a turtleneck like nobody’s business…
~~Lovin’ Ray. His "I'm coming like Christmas" was priceless.

i didn't think we could get worse than Stevie Wonder night. but, tonight? was way way boring. my goodness, this should have been the best show. 21st century? there was so many songs these losers could have chosen...and this is what they came up with? i didn't even know half the songs!

the good:
Taylor – he sang Trouble by Ray Lamontaine. I thought he was good. He looked like a weird woman biker this week.
Paris – she sang Work It Out by Beyonce. She sang her heart out a had a gay old time up there. I liked it.
Elliott – he sang I Don't Want to Be by Gavin DeGraw. Best of the night, by far. It was good.

the meh:
Mandisa – she sang Wanna Praise You by Mary, Mary. not feeling her tonight. Usually she’s awesome. Tonight she was just okay.
Chris – he sang What If? By Creed. I think that Chris is in this competition for the recognition and not to win it. He’s hardly an American Idol, but dude can rock. He’s not compromising himself at all. He’s showing who he is (and owning up to the whole Live fiasco from last week) and doesn’t really care what the judged think. That being said, this week was a little too ‘screamy’ for my tastes.
Bucky – he sang Real Good Man by Tim McGraw. Just okay for me. but, that being said, it was the first time i didn't want to kill myself while he was singing, so that must count for something!

the bad:
Lisa – she sang Because of You by Kelly Clarkson. what was she thinking? You don’t sing something makde famous by a former idol winner. There’s no way it will be better. Methinks little Lisa had better pack her bags.
Kellie – she sang Suds in a Bucket by Sara Evans. not great. And she looked really weird.
Ace – he sang Drops of Jupiter by Train – mm..not good this week. And, seriously, can someone tell him he looks hot with the beanie on?? The hair is bugging the crap out of me. Paula babbles about Ace’s scar, and creeps everyone in the audience out.
Katharine – she sang The Voice Within by Christina Aguilera. Not good this week. Really, really sharp. and, yet another disastrous fashion choice.



bottom 3? Lisa, Bucky and Ace.
going home? Lisa

~~so, the husband had surgery yesterday and i'm getting to learn first-hand what single motherhood is all about. seriously, though, he had his 'hook of hamate' removed from his hand. it had broken off and was floating around his hand. from a hockey injury, natch. thank goodness it went well, and now that he's all doped up of the percocets (sp?), he's doing okay. but, rightfully so, he's a little out of commission. which means, mommy gives dinner, mommy does bedtime, mommy does mornings (and this morning the boy decided that 6 am was a good time to wake up). it's hard work, man. i'm exhausted.

~~i didn't think i'd see the day, but i think The Apprentice has officially jumped the shark for me. I was bored to tears during Monday's episode, and really didn't give a hoot as to who was getting fired. i do, however, think that Donald Trump needs to lay off the Mensa comments. Just because Tarek's a member of Mensa doesn't mean he's always going to make the most sensible decisions. Geena Davis is in Mensa for god's sake...and we all remember 'the geena davis show' (wait, what? you don't remember it? maybe it's because it SUCKED BALLS).

~~i had forgotten how bad the coffee at work was. or maybe just how good the coffee at starbucks is. this morning i went out to my way to leave for work 10 minutes early so i could stop to get myself some starbucks. i know, priorities...

~~i have a question for all you internets out there. i'm looking to replace my nikon. i've been doing lots and lots of research (because anyone who knows me knows that i research everything to pieces). i had decided on the Canon A620. and then Becca got it. and loved it. and then the woolfs got it. and loved it. so...i actually have a few questions. 1) does anyone out there have the A620 and have any problems with it? is it too bulky? too slow? anything? 2) does anyone out there have a different camera that you love love love? i'm looking for 6 megapixels or higher, and something with relatively no shutterlag. 3) have any of you ever bought a camera on ebay? did you have any problems? a good experience? i'm thinking of going that route, but the husband is soooo super skeptical about it.

yes, i know it's an unoriginal title, and yes, i use it every time i write about carpool...
but i was beginning to think that carpool couldn't get worse.
and then guess what?
it did.

now, twice a week, i have to leave my office in Markham and drive to morning school, pick up the three kids, and then drive them to afternoon school, give them lunch and then drive back to work. joy. oh, and i also have to face the boy who goes home with Aviva (poor Aviva...i left him crying...) when all he wants to do is go home with me.

oh, and those boys. one is worse than the other. and i actually asked him if this is how he behaves when his mother drives. he said yes. and then i called him on it. i told him i was going to call his mom and ask her if he misbehaves and is rude and burps and farts and all the other lovely things 5-year-old boys do. then he stopped. surprise, surprise. that's it. from now on, i'll put the fear of Esther into him.

also, the girl is slightly attached and was weepy today. this, of course, is the result of my going back to work. great. just what i needed. guilt.

some weighty issues have been flying around the mama blog world.
while i hate to jump on the Morphing Into Mama bandwagon (i've never been a huge fan of the bandwagon...it gives me motion sickness), I wanted to post about it.

If you don't read MIM on a regular basis, I would highly recommend it. This post, the one everyone who is anyone is talking about, has caused quite a stir in women everywhere. like here, and here, and here, and even here. Wow, some very angry readers out there.

i, on the other hand, am much more outraged at how people have attacked poor MIM, than i am about her actual post. wow. her blog=her opinion. whether or not you agree with what a blogger writes on his or her post...there is NO reason to rip her to pieces. come on, people.

there are parts of her post that i agree with.
and parts that i don't agree with.
either way, i respect what she has to say.

yes, i do try to keep fit. yes, i sometimes go to extreme lengths to be skinny. (please don't judge me)
but, i don't think i do these things for my husband. i do them for myself.
do i think it's false advertising to go from a 120-pound girlfriend to a 160-pound wife? not
necessarily.
would i be upset if my husband was fat? upset, no.
disappointed in him? yes.
would i love him any less? never.
would i try to encourage him to lose weight? 100% (since i have - he's now lost over 10 pounds on south beach because i encouraged him to do it)

does this make me shallow? i don't know. i don't judge other people. i have friends who were thin and gained lots of weight while pregnant. i have friends who were heavier and lost lots of weight. i have friends who gain 5 pounds while pregnant and friends who gain 100. do i judge? no. what i think about other people and what i think about myself ARE VERY DIFFERENT things (what i think about myself is NOT based in reality, and i'm well aware of this). a person is a person is a person. no matter what the casing. fat, skinny, tall, short. whatever.

would the husband love me any less if i weighed 10, 20, 30 pounds more? of course not.
would he want me to be thinner? probably.
would be tell me? i don't know about this. i'm not sure. probably only if i forced him to be honest with me. which i do, on a regular basis.

The Sopranos just keeps delivering. It's so good.
I was so interested to see where they were going with the whole Tony/Kevin limbo thing and they didn't disappoint.
No one disappointed last night.
~Carmella. my goodness. she's fantastic. and i love love love that she went to see Melfi. It was so nice to get a bit of her backstory...that she was totally in it for the money. ooh...i loved her look to the guys in the elevator. she's a smart woman, that Carm, she's going to stir up some trouble. she was watching all of Tony' s guys when he was away..
~Vito. fuckin' Vito. could he have been any more creepy with Finn. yikes!
~Paulie. only Paulie could annoy a person out of a coma. "I gotta wear a jock, the doc said...keep the testes elevated." i loved when they showed 'Kevin' yelling at his 'neighbors' to shut up.
~Christopha - he's back trying to make a movie. the ghostbusters line? classic!
~AJ - is such a little shit. i'm glad that the gun thing was discovered. because...seriously...AJ with a gun...could ONLY have ended badly...

oooh...Tony B and the house of hell. I was fully expecting Tony to walk into the house and see everyone who died on the show. that would have been AWESOME. and was that faceless woman at the door supposed to be Livia? interesting how Tony's hell=family reunion....

does anyone think it's significant that it was Meadow who called him out of the coma?

Well...we're finally done with Emily's birthday celebrations...she turned 5 and had 4 parties. i'd say she made out pretty well...



instead of doing the typical have-everyone-at-an-indoor-playground party, the husband and i dared to shake things up a bit. we had it at home! with all girls (25!)! in costumes! and gave out goldfish as lootbags!



it was actually a VERY cute idea. we bought small glass bowls and crayola window writing paints. the girls decorated their fish bowls, and got a fish, some food and some pebbles to take home with them. they all had a blast.



then we had princess pizza, princess chips, princess pop, and princess cake. i'm all princessed out.



unfortunately, we were left with 5 fish at the end of the party, and we've already had 2 casualties. i hope the other kids have better luck with their lootbags...or we're going to have some very angry princesses on our hands...

Feast 86

Appetizer
How would you describe your personal comfort zone?

for me it's my routines. as soon as things start going outside my normal routines...i get anxious. a good example? when my car was locked in the lot after seeing Hair...

Soup
What is your favorite tree?

Japanese cherry tree. by far, my favorite.

Salad
List 3 foods you'd like to include in your dinner plans for tonight.

since i already have dinner plans...i can tell you what we are having...chicken soup...ribs...salad....what would i LIKE to include? sushi...it's always about the sushi...

Main Course
What is the best advice you've ever been given, but didn't heed?

"worry about what is, not what might be" - i NEVER can do this. i try and try, but i can't help it.

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how much attention do you feel comfortable receiving from others?

umm...7? i like attention...but too much makes me uncomfortable.

look everyone! my stepdad is famous!!
well...not exactly famous...since he's not exactly the mayor yet (keep your fingers crossed) and it IS Milwaukee (hardly an exciting city)..

the OC was HOT last night. everyone got laid.
the best thing this show could ever do for itself is keep Ryan and Marissa apart. Marissa and Ryan. no chemisty. super boring. Marissa and Volchok? hot. Ryan and Sadie? hot. and of course, seth taking control of summer? hot. although the "you like the smell of salami?" not so hot.

i was getting sick of boring-Ryan and i'm loving angst-Ryan. i like that he's opening up to Sadie a little bit.

and i don't think i could love Taylor more than i do. "I love my little Sethummer." ah! she kills me. and the dean reference! ha!

it's a little surreal being back at work. i think once i have my desk set up, with my phone and computer, it will feel more REAL. right now i'm sort of floating between desks...whoever happens to NOT be there that day. at least now i have access to my email and my desktop. that, at least, makes things easier.

Emily told me today that she got sent to the principal's office. she's 5 years old. why, you ask? well, it seems someone hasn't been playing nicely with others. to put it bluntly, my daughter is a grade A snob. she likes some of the kids her class (about 5 kids) and dislikes everyone else. she said that the principal told her that she has to play with everyone. apparently, she's mean, but yet they all want to play with her. emily is a mean girl. no wonder she likes lindsay lohan so much...

Isabella has been eating paper. weird, i know. paper seems to be her plaything of preference these days. a few days ago, she actually ate a board book. ate it. and she doesn't have any teeth!! and you thought she wasn't talented...:)





she also has this mysterious rash on her stomach.


last week, when it started, we thought it might be chicken pox. she was on day 20 (the last day you can get it) from her exposure. but, it didn't get any worse or spread, and it doesn't really look all that much like the pox. it seems to be getting worse, today, 6 days later, but it hasn't spread. it's ONLY on her tummy. doctor jack, since i know you are reading...what do you think it is?? or anyone else with an opinion would work too!

joshie has discovered that he actually likes food. this is a real breakthrough for us. yesterday he ate a giant breaded chicken breast. he NEVER would have touched this before. but, he ate THE ENTIRE THING. i'm so excited. this is boy who only eats hot dogs and grilled cheese. and maybe macaroni and cheese...if we're lucky.

Mandisa – she sang I Don't Hurt Anymore by Dinah Washington. Mandisa (I cannot approve of the Man-diva name…ew) was AMAZING last night. I love that she’s so comfortable in her skin. She looked gorgeous.

Bucky – he sang Oh Boy by Buddy Holly. Oh lordy. Bucky needs to go. He’s just awful. And his hair really is NO better than last week. Sandwiched in-between Paris and Mandisa only made it worse.

Paris –she sang Fever by Peggy Lee. my god this girl can sing. I can’t believe how young she is.

Chris – he sang Walk the Line by Johnny Cash. Okay, I was already in love with Chris, but deciding to sing Johnny Cash…has forever cemented my love. It wasn’t his best performance, but he’s so good every week. Love him. I worry, though, that his lack of versatility might screw him in the end.

Katharine – she sang Come Rain or Come Shine by Ella Fitzgerald. Okay…too much floppy boobage for my taste. I was slightly distracted while she was singing. Anyone else find her overly bouncy when she talks to Ryan? She totally wants him. He’s obviously who she was singing to...

Taylor – he sang Not Fade Away by Buddy Holly. Pee Wee Herman? Nope, just Taylor Hicks. Not bad. Not great.

Lisa – she sang Why Do Fool's Fall in Love by Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. Shes goin’ down like the titanic. Poor girl has a great voice, and probably a great singing career in her future, but the girl cannot chose the right song. Ever.

Kevin – he sang When I Fall in Love by Nat King Cole. My god, his weirdness is entirely not cute. The glasses? The speech impediment? The weird faces? Get off my tv. You hear me?

Elliot – he sang Teach Me Tonight by Al Jarreau. I’m loving Elliot and I think that the stylists are trying to work with him. He looked good tonight. And sang a really hard song. And sang it well. He’s always good.

Kellie – she sang Walkin' After Midnight by Patsy Cline. So..it seems she got a hold of Homer’s make-up gun this week. She looked WAY weird this week, but I enjoyed her song. She’s a country girl. She can sing country.

Ace – he sang The Still of the Night by The Five Satins. Um…better than last week. Still not good enough. With so many amazing singers in this competition, I’m afraid we’ll be saying goodbye to Ace sooner than I’d like. Because, damn, I sure like to look at him. Please.stop.the.falsetto.


Bottom 3: Bucky, Kevin and Lisa.
Lisa goes home.

Other notes: why does Constantine look SOOO dirty?
and why is Paula such a tool?:
"It's a singing competition."
"You just can't dance."
"It's a singing competition"
"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS CAUSE YOU CAN"T DANCE!!!!"

so, last night we went to see Hair.
the husband told me to meet him in front of his office and park in the lot. it was perfect. only $3. and his office was in walking distance to the theater, so we didn't need to worry about parking. perfect.
the show, by the way, was awesome. it was the first preview night, so, we were told that we shouldn't be surprised if there were some technical errors, and we should bear with them.
The show was virtually error free, except for two minor mistakes. the first was hilarious. a door, that was supposed to be slammed shut, refused to stay shut and as each of the actors tried to close it, about 3 seconds later, it would swing open again. the second error occured after the intermission. we waited over 45 minutes for the show to start again and watched this loop of a newsreel on a giant screen. it was about the introduction of walkie-talkies and the Dionne quintuplets. we must have watched the same loop about 45 times. a man in the audience screamed out, "shut off the movie!" and, kindly, they obliged.
I was VERY impressed with the show. I highly recommend, assuming you can get past the fact that at one point, the entire cast is nude. completely nude. everyone.
so, after the show ended, at 11:30, we walked back to the car. which was locked. in the lot. no way in. no way out. we were stuck. so, thanking the lord that I didn't have carpool this morning, we took a cab to the subway and took the subway home. I was all annoyed and tired and cold and cranky. but, while we were on the subway i just started laughing and told the husband that we shouldn't sweat the small stuff. nothing we could do about it now. it sucked. sucked ass. and i'm exhausted this morning...but what can you do?
this morning the husband drove me to work and took the subway downtown. he's going to drive my van up to me at 4 and then we'll go pick his car up at the subway. what a complete pain in the arse.

~~Izzy bugged the crap out of me tonight, but i did enjoy her messing with Cristina just a little bit: "I grew up in a trailer park and I am not above kicking, and I do mean physically kicking, your pampered Beverly Hills ass."

~~best line? "Dude you called her ma’am, she’s never going to sleep with you now."

~~cell phones? in a hospital? was anyone else distracted by this?

~~Alex is an ass. but i'm lovin' angry alex. someone needed to knock some sense into george the baby.

~~i can't hear juju without thinking of julie cooper nichol....but i think it was a sweet gesture on addison's part. i've never really liked her until now. got to give her credit for trying. but...i'm still rooting for mcdreamy and meredith. and i liked that he admitted that he and Meredith were friends.

~~cristina and george in the bathroom. classic! "That's my breast!"

~~i probably sound awful for saying this...but i actually was hoping that denny would die. izzy needs to move on from this unhealthy relationship.

well..here i am. back at work.
this morning i basically had to run out of my house. I was afraid that if i had stopped to actually think about what was happening, i would have either chickened out, or cried my head off. or maybe both. so, i kissed the kids. gave baby bella a little cuddle. and hopped in my car.
waiting for me in my car was a card and a gift (a necklace) from my family. it was such a nice unexpected surprise. sure, it wasn't an A620, but i've learned early on that you DON'T kick a gift horse in the mouth. it was so thoughtful.
i haven't accomplished all that much this morning. I spent some time with the HR people and got my photo taken for my card (and it only took three tries to get a shot with my eyes open. not bad). I got to watch the "scholastic is a fun place to work" video and the health and safety video.
i don't have my computer yet, or my email running, or my phone for that matter. i guess that's why it really hasn't hit me yet.

and two men...

don't get too excited. two ninja turtles were there too, and a headless spiderman. and a few rubber ducks. and ariel.

our shower is broken. it was leaking water. the guy we had in the last time one of us was out of work (why does it always happen like that? things break only when you can't afford to fix them.) did a shitty job. so, by dear husband, the handyman, starting taking apart the wall, piece by piece, in a very Andy Dufresne-rock hammer-shawshank-y kind of way.

so, now, my bathroom looks like a construction site, and the shower is completely un-usable. so, until we can afford to fix the thing, again, we are showering in the kids bathroom. with the barbies and the kens and the ninjas and the superheroes. joy.

my daughter, the socialite.

here's what we did yesterday:




Isabella, Ayelet, Ali, and Ami. too cute.

okay...Survivor...most boring clip-show ever. any thoughts on who is on the stretcher? i can't tell if it's a woman or a man...it's not Cirie or Bruce...

okay...American Idol...what's wrong with America??? Ace is in the bottom 3? (did you see his poor face?) and Kevin and Bucky are NOT??? WTF? although i'm quite happy to see Melissa go home...i would have prefered the bottom 3 to include Chicken Little and Bucky.

okay...so, last night we went out to dinner with the husband's old co-workers from IBM, June, Hui (and his fiance), and Gilbert. we went to this Japanese sushi place near my old office. interestingly, all the menus were in Chinese, which i didn't really understand...since it was a Japanese place...but bygones. anyway, we sit down and they bring out this lobster. the front end of the lobster looks like a live lobster. the back end of the lobster is all cut up into good eats. it looks a little bit like this. wait a tick! what's that? the front end? it's still moving.

still moving y'all! i have never seen anything like this before in my life. apparently, it's called live lobster sashimi. you eat the lobster while it's still squirming on the table. holy shit. i am very sheltered, it seems. i tried hard not to lose my lunch and watched in awe as everyone (besides me and the husband) partook in this adventure.

since my scanner is shit, the coloring is all off, but you can get the idea of how the pics actually came out. for example, picture #3 is in sepia. that sure as heck doesn't look like sepia to me! time for a new scanner...

BUT

as of Monday, i'll be back at Scholastic.
I'm thrilled of course to have a job.
to have someone out there who wants to hire me.
for really, really great money.
and i get to keep my nanny.
and it's my old job. i know the territory.
yay.

i'm completely in denial, though, that i'm leaving my baby. she's only 7 months old. yikes. saving grace? job is 9-4 and she sleeps from 10-12 and from 2-4. so, it's essentially only 3 hours when i won't be with her. oy. that still seems like a lot.

the great:
Katharine: she sang Until You Come Back to Me. great. really, really great. but, seriously? someone needs to steer the mcphever out of the maternity section. what was up with that dress?
Taylor: he sang Livin' for the City. Taylor is awesome. music in his soul. harmonica in his hand. i love this guy.
Paris: she sang All I Do. she was soooo good. the awesome Paris is back! girl is 17!! 17!
Chris: he sang Higher Ground. Simon said, "Thank God for Chris. This was the only real world performance and I could see you having a hit with that." wow. he's THAT good.

the good:
Elliott: he sang Knocks Me Off My Feet. what? i'm agreeing with Simon? on everything? it was good. no wow factor.
Mandisa: she sang Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing. Ryan takes off her shoes. and i need a bucket. ew. ew. ew. but she sang well. and she looked beautiful. except for the sweating. that grosses me out.
Lisa: she sang Signed, Sealed, Delivered. i thought she was great. nice break from her RPBs (really pretty ballads).

the meh:
Ace: he sang Do I Do. Do they have soft water at American Idol or something? I was not feeling Ace's hair tonight. He needed to be wearing his beanie. mmm..Ace in a beanie...that being said, does it really matter how he sang?
Kellie: she sang Blame It On the Sun. pretty underwhelming. worst i've seen from he yet. country and Stevie Wonder just don't mix.

the bad:
Bucky: he sang Superstition. Jessica Simpson hair-do. bwah! altogether too growly for me.
Melissa: she sang Lately. k - she forgot her lyrics. bad, bad, bad, bad. and her singing wasn't all that great either. disagree with Simon. didn't like it.
Kevin: he sang Part-Time Lover. methinks chicken little has a bad case of the swollen head (he...i said swollen head) sex symbol? ew. arguing with simon? ew. buh bye.



on another AI note. i'm usually NOT a big fan of long hair. i prefer my men with shorter hair (more like Ryan Seacrest and less like Chris Daughtrey though). but Ace? Ace needs to keep his long hair. here are some pics of him with short hair. and i'm getting a creepy Scott Peterson vibe...

for those unfamiliar with it...here's a rundown of events.

at night, the kids (and some adults too) get dressed up in costume, go to synagogue, and the kids eat candy.

the following day, parents drive all over the city delivering packages of food to friends and family. people usually make a theme for these packages, or shalach manot. people get quite creative. and kids eat candy.

then, for dinner, people get together to have a big meal. and kids eat candy.

noticing a theme here? all day long today people have been dropping their shalach manot by - each one more creative than the next - but my kids have gone candy crazy. each time someone came to the door, it sent the kids into a "gimme candy" tailspin that took too long to come out of.

also, I spent most of my day running around. finishing up my shalach manot, and delivering all over the city. i made 31 in total. 31! that's a lot of houses to go to.

i'm run down.
this holiday has wiped me out.

so, it came as no surprise as we were driving to dave and ahava's for our annual pot-luck dinner, that the nausea set in. i didn't really eat today - unless you count a giant coffee and 4 hamentashen (actually, it could have been 5...now that i think about it)

but then it really, really set in. enough so that i was sitting in the car, with a plastic bag in hand, in case of barfage. i can't even remember the last time i felt that awful.

so, i sent the husband with the three kids by himself. and i feel guilty as hell. i feel badly for him. but, then again, i just feel bad. and i forgot the challah. i was supposed to bring that along with the other things i was supposed to bring (the good news is that i managed to make everything else...). cripes.

i'm feeling slightly better...since i'm guessing that the two zantacs i took are starting to kick in, and i'm trying to flush my system with water...but that just makes me have to pee every 5 seconds. peachy.

Grey's Anatomy

~he's totally going back to Addison, isn't he? no!!!!!!! he and Meredith had such good chemistry. in the opening scene with the dog, and sharing the drink....they are SOOO meant for each other.

~it's nice to see Meredith looking good again. seriously, she looked amazing. and i LOVED when she called McDreamy out "Does Addison know we're friends?"

~At first i felt really badly for George. now i think he need to grow himself a pair. seriously. the silent treatment, is so sixth grade? and oh, man, that hair? it's total hobbit hair. i'm nto saying what Meredith did was right...but they need to work it out.

~i used to be all into the cuteness between Izzy and Denny. now, i'm just completely creeped out by the whole thing.

~Why is Bailey bringing the baby to work? i get that there's a point to be made forcing bab/cristina time...but it's that just the slightest bit unprofessional? and Bailey is SOO professional.

Sopranos - MAJOR SPOILERS if you haven't seen it yet. you've been warned.

~I am THRILLED to have my favorite family back on the screen. it's been way way way too long. does anyone think they might do the rest of the season starting where season 5 left off...and maybe lead up to this episode where tony dies?? no? just me...alrighty, then. so, we're assuming that he lives.

~it was a very "weighty" episode. Tony on the scale, taking off his shoes and pants. awesome! tony, hon, i've been there. every little bit helps. Vito losing all that weight. the agent getting a parasite. even Melfi was looking a little big...

~Carmela's such an ass. flaunting that new Porsche ("Like the Peppa") all around town, especially rubbing it in Ginny Sack's wounds. bee-otch.

~We saw Gene's suicide coming a mile away. he was trapped and there was only one way out. now, his wife can move to Florida and the government can't come and take his money. i didn't, however, foresee a hanging. yikes.

~i didn't care at all for the voice-over bit in the beginning. it wasn't the Tony getting the paper in his bathrobe beginning i was expecting.

~it was good to see Ade....even if it was a dream.

Big Love
did anyone watch this???
i'm so curious what all your thoughts are!
it's early days. too soon to form an opinion.
and lots of unanswered questions.
but, it was interesting to see how each wife fits so differently into the family. i'd love to see the backstory of how it came to be,
and wait...what do their neighbors think? that he's only married to Barb? is that why he had to be sneaky in the morning?
but Ginnifer Goodwyn is on it, and i LOVE her.
and Tina Majorino too. and i'll watch anything she's in (except for maybe Andre)

"You guys are intentionally...ruining my life!" - Emily, age 5

"See you later, Freaks!" - Joshua, age 3 (actually it was "See you later, Fweeks!)

"Egg!" - Isabella, age 6 1/2 months (this was monumental because she said it right after he daddy said, "say egg" - clearly, she's a genius)

here are some photos of her lately:








if you still aren't convinced, here's a picture of Britney when she was pregnant, during the early months:



and here's one of her - note how FLAT her stomach looks - shortly after baby Sean was born:

~~I'm totally loving Cerie. She should have thrown the challenge and let her team give Shane the boot. It would have been a good strategic move. Shane makes me sick to my stomach. watching him with the cigarette was painful.

~~Wow. a tribal council where everyone is civil. no fighting. Dan is all class. it was the right decision, but Terry still comes off looking a little ass-y.

~~La Mina, La Mina, La Mina. You were doing so well in the challenge. Then you Stephenied the puzzle.

~~ha. in the reward, the villagers looking at Bruce like he was a lunatic - classic.

two (yes, count them, two!!) jobs are on the table.
i need to make a decision NOW.
don't know what to do.
this sucks.

here i didn't think i'd even get offered anything and would jump at ANY job....and now i have to DECIDE.

cripes.

the good:
Gedeon - he sang When A Man Loves A Woman by Percy Sledge. i thought he was good. his little video was a little too robotic for my tastes. god bless you.
Chris - he sang Broken by Seether. Chris can do no wrong in my books. he sang a song i know and i like, so he's already in my good books. and..seriously...dude can rock. love him. and i loved his ryan seacrest hair!!!
Taylor - he sang Takin' It to the Streets by The Doobie Brothers. this was amazing. except for his dancing...if that's what we're calling his ticking antics.
Elliott - he sang Heaven by Bryan Adams. he's got such an amazing voice. it's slightly distracting that he looks a lot like our friend Uri.

the meh:
Will - he sang How Sweet it is by Marvin Gaye. mediocre at best. but he's cute.
Ace - he sang You Give Me Butterflies by Michael Jackson. mmm. he's a handyman...ace is hot. ace is hot. ace is hot. why can't he just stay away from the falsetto?

the bad:
Kevin - he sang Vincent by Don McLean. no and no. buh-bye chicken little.
Bucky - he sang Wave on Wave by Pat Green. oh my god, there's two of them!!!! kill. me. now. there's no way seeing someone's twin should be THAT disturbing.

going home? i'm going to stick with my prediction from last week and say Kevin and Bucky.

my girl is 5 today.
5.
i don't feel a day over 16, so there's something not right about this.

ah...she was the cutest, most amazing baby. she slept through the night early. she didn't everything early. rolled, sat, talked (first words at 8 months!), walked...everything. an overachiever at such a young age. but she was such a pleasure. my goodness. she was perfect. and then she hit 15 months...and turned into a holy terror. she brought new meaning to the terrible twos (especially since we are only just coming out of them now).

she's stubborn as a mule. she's too smart for her own good.
she's a 16 year old living in a 3 year old's body (yes, i realize that she's 5, but she's still teeny). she's into Hilary Duff, and Britney Spears, and make-up, and boyfriends (yes, she had one!!).
my goodness, she is so like me it's not normal.

i think she was put on this earth to test my patience. she can drive me absolutely mental. she makes me want to scream and tear my hair out on a regular basis. she knows which buttons to push with me. she knows that as soon as she says that her stomach hurts i turn to mush. she knows i'm a softie at bedtime. (see what i mean? too smart for her own good).

but, seriously, she's such an amazing kid. she's so good at whatever she does. her teachers love her. they say that she's a pleasure to teach. i'm so lucky to have a child like Emily. she's bright and witty and funny and loves her brother (even though she'll never admit it). she loves to cuddle with her mama (when no one's looking, of course, because, like, cuddling is sooo only for 4-year-olds, mom).

the good:
Paris -she sang Conga by Gloria Estefan. It was good. but, seriously, is she ever NOT good? Simon's right. sails through to the next round.
Katharine - she sang Think by Aretha Franklin. she was good, i thought, and it's kind of good to know that she's not pregnant. please, never compare yourself to Constantine.
Mandisa - she sang I'm Every Woman by Chaka Khan. my god. she was awesome.
Kellie - she sang I'm The Only One by Melissa Etheridge. minx. he. and the sal.mon bit? she's so unintentionally hilarious.

the meh:
Lisa - she sang Where I Stand by Tiffany Taylor. does she sing the same thing every week? i'm getting tired of it...does anyone else get a star search vibe from her?
Ayla - she sang Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. please. stop. the. crotch. squats. i'm glad to hear someone sing something comtemporary, but it was just okay. not great.

the bad:
Melissa - she sang What About Love by Heart. ew. i can't stand this girl.
Kinnik - she sang If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys. wow. that was horrid. and what's a chitlin?


ha ha ha ha. best line? "I’m sorry. I keep saying the same word over and over and over.""Don’t worry. We’re used to Randy."

going home? i'm going to stick with my prediction from last week and say Melissa and Kinnik.

~~Stacy's nose job? I'm sure glad I won't have to look at that disaster anymore.
~~un-named redhead who looks like a man? scary shit.
~~Ivanka's lips? ew.
~~I continue to be amused by Lenny's mangling of the English language: "It's more simple than the whole Earth."
~~on behalf of Canada, I'm embarrassed by Brent. They finally get a Canadian on the show...and this is what they chose as a representative...great...unfortunately for all of us...the producers Trump chose to keep him around for another week. i hope someone gives him a towel for next week. the sweat is killing me.
~~sucky task, sucky reward, good firings. meh episode.

so, i work for this organization called Emunah Women. Well, i guess it's not really working...i volunteer. It's actually a really worthy cause that i'm proud to be a part of.

the problem?
it's an organization that is run by women.
women who can't seem to get a meeting, that should take no more than 30 minutes, finished in 2 hours.
women who can't seem to use computers. they are running their databases in DOS. DOS people! I haven't even seen DOS since i was about 8. they can't seem to get their website updated (they've only been working on it for 7 months).
women who talk in circles.
women who can talk FOREVER and never say ANYTHING.

anyway, usually I lose my focus after about 20 minutes of the meeting.
usually I dread attending the meetings (unless i know 100% that Aimee's going to be there...both for the comic relief and because she helps bring the average age down by about 10 years)
but last night...last night....ah!! i got the compliment of a lifetime.
"You remind me of Reese Witherspoon. In your mannerisms. The way you talk."
ah! could there BE a better compliment than that? Reese Witherspoon is amazing. and now she's an Academy Award winner!

the only time i've EVER been told that i look like anyone was when we were walking out of Spiderman and everyone we were with told me i'm a spitting image of Kirsten Dunst. okay, seriously, just because you have a big ole' round head doesn't mean you look like this. (crap...now that i look at that picture, i CAN kind of see it...holy crap..i look like Kirsten Dunst....)
oh, i lie. i've also been told that i look like Felicity and Nina from the Young and the Restless. good lord.

What are you lookin' at





PUNK!

Gay Cowboy Montage? funny.
Ben Stiller in a green unitard? not so funny.

George Clooney wins Best Supporting Actor. Charms the crap out of me. impossible not to like.
Rachel Weisz wins Best Supporting Actress.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman wins Best Actor. Even though i love him in EVERYTHING he does (especially boogie nights...) i was hoping for a Joaquin or Heath win.
Reese Witherspoon wins Best Actress. yay. she's so classy. and she brought Joaquin to tears.

Costume designers always wear the ugliest dresses. how does that even happen?

oy. Lauren Bacall can't read a teleprompter.
oy. Jennifer Garner almost falls off the stage.

Ang Lee wins best director and makes a "wish i knew how to quit you" joke. he's not sick of that line, already? it's like James Cameron saying he's the king of the world.

In the only surprise of the night....Crash wins best picture. i'm shocked as hell. i was hoping for a brokeback win, since it really was the best movie i've seen all year. but i'm happy for the Crash people, since it really was a kick ass movie.

i thought Jon Stewart was funny...mostly because every time i said anything, he was right there with the same joke. i commented about how many montages there were...and there he was, poking fun at the montage. i commented about the entire cast of Crash being there last night, and bada bing, Stewart makes a Crash crack. I commented about it being easier to be a pimp with an oscar in your hand, and yup, you guessed it. maybe i am a little funny after all...

before i get into any sort of commentary of last night's oscars, we must first take a look at the ladies...

Jennifer Aniston:

me personal vote for best dressed. she really knows how to do it right. she knows you don't need a gaudy color (Michelle!) or a puffy sleeve (Charlize!). She looks beautiful and tasteful. always.

Rachel Weisz:

another woman who knows how to dress herself (or to be dressed). 7 months pregnant and as stunning as ever. radiant.

Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman:



okay, while i thought that Nicole's dress was beautiful (Naomi's...not so much), coth these Aussie's need to stay away from the pales, or get themselves some sun. pale hair, pale skin, pale dress. they look ghostly.

Reese Witherspoon:

she looked great. her face and hair were absolutely stunning. and the dress? big improvement from the Golden Globes.

Jennifer Garner:

Holy ginormous boobs batman! Not buying the dress. it's screaming, "yes! i still have baby weight to lose!" not a good choice for her.

Hilary Swank:

Hilary Swank has curves? i never knew! she looks nice.

Charlize Theron:

what was she thinking? honestly, i felt the worst for Matt Dillon, who had to sit behind that eyesore all night. ew.

Keira Knightley:

the girl needs to work on her posture. didn't love her hair color (looked a little home-colored to me) but otherwise, she looked great.

Michelle Williams:

oy. that dress would have looked nice....in black. and that lipstick would have looked nice...on a stripper. what, was she taking lipstick lessons from Anne Hathaway? speaking of Anne, where was she?

Felicity Huffman:

she looked so good. the most feminine I've ever seen her. which was the good thing...since her role in Transamerica was anything but feminine.

Jessica Alba:

not my first choice in color, or in style. but she looked stunning.

~~Pregnant? Not Pregnant? you decide!



~~Lindsay rocks the nipple slip:



~~Guess the hideous celebrity stomach:



~~Guess the hideous celebrity before-they-were-famous portrait:



~~Guess the celebrity moose knuckle (i actually have no idea who this is...and i have no idea if he's actually a celebrity...but he sure is funny!):

why, do you ask? for several reasons:

reason #1: along with the introduction of solid food into my daughter, came with it the introduction of the big "C" (yes, i mean constipation). This is something, fortunately for us, we never had with any of our babies. until Isabella. The poor girl now spends much of her time with a red face, pushing her heart out. the poor girl. i turn away, partly because it's painful for me to look at her straining so hard, but mostly because i feel like the girl wants her privacy. no one wants to share that much discomfort with anyone else, much less your mother.

the husband, such a compassionate soul, drew his weapons last night. a q-tip in one hand. some vaseline in the other. yes, you can see where this is going. my poor, poor bella.

but, drumroll please, this morning, she pooed. hooray! woots all around. my daughter can poo. it's sad what makes me happy these days...

reason #2: I NAILED my interview this morning. nailed it. at least i think. at least i hope.

reason #3: I got home from interview #1 and got called for a third interview. so, i went from having nothing on the horizon to having 3 interviews in one week. it's the anti-when-it-rains-it-pours experience for me. wouldn't that be something? to have my pick of jobs? let's not get ahead of ourselves...let's just get a job. just one. that's really all i need...

reason #4: America got it right folks. they voted off all 4 of my choices for the boot. yay. next week...let's say goodbye to Melissa, Kinnik, Bucky, and Kevin, and all will be good in the world. and Paula? let's stay off the sauce.

ack! i almost forgot reason #5: i drove my father in law's car (remember? the one that i smashed to smithereens? the reason why my father in law hates me?) - to and from my interview - and returned it in one piece.

~~not feeling so swell, now, are you Bobby?

~~it was actually nice to see LaMina win something for a change. and Casaya? Casaya is NOTHING short of dysfunctional. how did a girl who is afraid of leaves go from being my first boot choice to being my favorite on the entire tribe?

~~my Bruce love has waned. i thought he was going to kick ass...but he hasn't done much except build himself a zen rock garden....oh and scream "bonzai" at the challenge.

~~why did they pick the beans? did they not know what that would do to their systems? rice would have been the MUCH much better choice.

~~Jeff, honey, it's actually pronounced skUll, not Skole. thanks.

~~Courtney's the new Dr. Phil: "How did you that make you feel when you drank the wine?" Courtney, how does it make you feel when i kick the crap out of you?

think Scholastic thoughts.


that's all i can say right now.
more details to come soon, i hope.
just keep thinking them!

the good:
Taylor - he sang Easy by The Commodores. I thought he was pretty great. He's such a strange guy, but he can sing. he needs to settle down a little bit and stops with the "whoos" and why did he keep saying toboggan? did he mean to say toque?
Elliott - he sang Moody's Mood for Love by Stevie Wonder. he's good. very, very good. very hard to look at, though.
Ace - he sang If I'm Not Made For You by Daniel Bedingfield. If he wasn't sooooo easy on the eyes, I might have put him in the meh category last night. he was good. he wasn't great. Falsettos are a no-no in my book, so Ace, honey, stay away from them. mmm...ace in a beanie=HOT.
Gedeon - he sang Change Is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke. He was great, i thought. "funny little thing" ha!
Chris - he sang Hemorhage by Fuel. He's so freakin' good. dude. can. rock.

the meh:
Kevin - he sang Heard It Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye. poor kid. being compared to Chicken Little after he just got through calling himself a sex symbol? He sang it well, but he can't dance for shit, and there was no soul to his singing. it just was. and that's not good enough.
Will - he sang Lady by Kenny Rogers. That was actually pretty good, if a little boring. Guarini? seriously?
Bucky - he sang The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks. In his element, but very boring. and Buky? Kellie's already got the "hick out of water" thing down. it's hers, buddy. find something else.

the bad:
Sway - he sang Overjoyed by Stevie Wonder. I actually didn't hate it as much as the judges. but that's a really hard song to sing...perhaps he should have gone slightly safer?
David - he sang The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra. I love this song. and he butchered it. this is supposed to be his thing, and he couldn't really even pull that off. two words. John. Stevens.

my pick for the boot: Sway and David.
question. what was going on with Will and Ryan at the end there?? was Ryan actually UNDRESSING him?

y'all are too sweet. i got an amazing amount of emails and phone calls from people to make sure i was okay. (mind you, not one of these phone calls or emails was from family members...but that's a story for another day...) it really meant a lot to me. and i'm 100% okay. I was just really having a BAD day. it just all kind of fell on me all at once. and it sucked.

but it's over. and i'm fine. i'm nervous about my two interviews and i'm hoping one of them turns into a job. but, if it doesn't, it's not the end of the world. i'm a highly capable person. and i will live without my nanny for a little while. it's not the end of the world. i don't, however, know how i'll fit 5 kids in 4 carseats...but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Isabella enjoyed the rice cereal on day #1. on all subsequent days...not so much. at first she took it, but didn't like it. by yesterday, she was having no part of the cereal. at all. and the feeding session turned into a screaming session and a weak-kneed mommy stammering, "okay...isabella...whatever you want...you never have to eat food again....just stop crying...please!" i'm so weak. Sharon told me to try barley. and guess what? it's like she's a new kid. she ate every last spoonful and probably would have eaten more if i'd allowed it. and she slept an extra hour this morning. probably coincidental...but i'm loving the the barley.

went to the gym this morning. had the pleasure of working out right beside Jessica Alba. just my luck. can we say....intimidating, much? oooh...but as i was walking out, passed a smoking hot Isaiah Washington, so all was forgiven. when i got to the parking lot, however, i got peeved as hell. i'd say 95% of the cars in the lot are expensive and sporty (think: small). just my luck, i had the only other minivan in the lot come and park right next to me. so.fucking.close.to.me that i couldn't even get in my car. i had to crawl in from the passenger side. let me tell you how much fun that was. it took me about 20 minutes to pull my car out without hitting the other car. i was tempted to leave a nasty note, but a cayenne was waiting for my spot. and you don't piss off the porsche.

kind of slim pickings tonight...no on was all that great.

the good:
Katharine - she sang All in Love is Fair by Stevie Wonder. a little lifeless and boring for me. she's still good and will make the top 12 easily. anyone else thinks she looks a little pregnant?
Paris - she sang Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler. song was too old for her, but she sang it well. she's sailing into top 12.
Ayla - she sang I Want You to Need Me by Celine Dion. I liked it. Didn't love it. but i'll agree with the judges. i'm liking her much more than i thought i would.
Kellie - she sang Something to Talk about by Bonnie Raitt. she's adorable.
Mandisa - she sang Cry by Faith Hill. she's good. she can sing. she's through to the next round.

the meh:
Kinnik - she sang Here for the Party by Gretchen Wilson. meh.
Lisa - she sang Who's Lovin' You by Michael Jackson. meh. still can't believe she's only 16. crazy. she's so together for being so young.
Melissa - she sang Why Haven't I Heard From You by Reba McIntyre. not great. best we've seen from her.

the bad:
Heather - she sang Hero by Mariah Carey. horrible.
Brenna - she sang Last Dance by Donna Summer. i'm hoping this will be her last dance. she's so freakin' annoying.


so there's my pick for the boot: Heather and Brenna. for the love of god, i hope it's them!
and my most favorite moment of the night? Simon saying "calamari" with a southern accent.

my race is back! wahoo! my race is back! teams of two! a race around the world! yay!

here are my thoughts so far:

Eric/Jeremy: i like them. alright, you guys are slackers...i get it. now take your $20,000 and shut up. did anyone catch his "no deal!" shout out to howie mandel? can't say i'm loving the double nipple rings, dude. wait...did he say "What do we get, Philly?" he did? didn't he?

BJ/Tyler: they are quit a hoot. and for some reason remind of a cross between Luke Wilson and Shaggy (the scooby do-er, not the singer). not sure why. they are having fun, and playing well. a good combination. Christine thinks Chris Robinson..i can see that too :)

Desiree/Wanda: not as great as 'Momily' from season one, but they seem to be working well so far.

Dave/Lori: Nerds rule! They are surprisingly super functional as a couple and really seem SOO in love.

MoJo: they lose some serious points for giving themselves a nickname, but i like them so far. they're pretty, and i like that in a team.

Lake/Michelle: i can't believe Joseph called him "Scott Peterson." oh, wait. yes, now i see why. snerk. did he say, "dagnumit!?" anyone know what that patch was?

Ray/Yolanda: she's awesome for actually being able to build that freakin' motorcycle while all those creepy oglers were jeering and whistling. and he's awesome for coming back at Lake's "Lake, like the ocean," with "Ray, like the sun."

Pinks: just kind of meh on them so far. there's a pair in every installment of TAR.

Fran/Barry: they may win the award for the most inept couple to play this game. can't find the clue box? standing around looking like idiots at the motorcycle task? i hope they go next week.

Glamazons: my ears! make the lambs stop screaming!

John/Scott: two words. drama. queens. guess the genie power didn't work for them. sorry to see you philiminated.